Mum, stop hassling Dad every evening! “Mum, I need to talk to you, woman to woman.” The six-year-old girl looked at her mum seriously. All her mum could do was nod and say, “Alright, what shall we talk about?” “What about?” her daughter asked, surprised. “About men.” “Then, about whom?” her mum replied, correcting her. “Men are living beings, not things.” “Why is that?” The girl didn’t understand. “If you’re talking about people, say ‘whom.’” “Brrr…” the girl replied, clearly annoyed. “I haven’t even said anything yet and you’ve already confused me…” “Sorry. Go on. What is it?” “I’m worried about Dad.” “What’s wrong with him?” “I think you’re giving him a hard time at night.” The mother broke out in a cold sweat. “Sweetie, don’t you sleep at night?” “Of course I do.” The girl’s face was sincere. “It’s just, I always hear you nagging Dad: ‘That’s enough, it’s late, time to go to bed, turn off the laptop!’ Mum, he’s working on his laptop. He earns money for you and for me. For me, to buy toys. For you, to buy nice things. Why are you bothering him?” “You’re right. I’ll do better, I promise. Is that all? Is our talk finished?” “Yes, of course.” The girl nodded. “I’ll go warm up dinner. Dad will be home soon.” The girl ran to the window to watch for her father. He always waved to her when he arrived home.

Mum, stop pestering Dad every night!

Mum, I need to have a chat with you. Woman to woman. Six-year-old Emily stared at her mum, very seriously. Her mother could only nod and reply, Alright, what shall we talk about?

What do you mean, what? About men, obviously, replied Emily, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

So, about whom in particular? her mum asked, correcting her gently. Men are people, not furniture, you know.

Whats all that about then? Emily frowned, clearly baffled. If were talking people, shouldnt it be whom not what?

Oh, goodness gracious Emily huffed in complete exasperation.

I havent even started and youre confusing me already! she sighed, shaking her head.

Sorry, love. Go on, tell me, whats bothering you? her mum asked, stifling a smile.

Im a bit worried about Dad, actually.

Her mum looked alarmed. Why? Whats happened to him?

Well, whispered Emily conspiratorially, I think youre on his case a little too much at night.

Her mum immediately felt a cold sweat, the kind reserved for awkward encounters at school pick-up.

Darling, are you not asleep at night when you ought to be?

Of course I am! Emilys face was pure innocence, with wide, honest eyes.

Its just I keep hearing you have a go at him: Thats enough, its late, time for bed, shut the laptop! Mum, hes working on his laptop! Hes earning money for you and me. For me! So I get toys. For you I suppose, for candles and jumpers or something. Why do you keep making a fuss?

Her mum looked down, caught out. You know what? Youre absolutely right. I promise Ill try to be a bit kinder to him at night. Any more questions, or is this coffee morning over?

Yes, thats all, Emily nodded with adult finality.

Ill pop the tea on and warm up dinner. Dadll be home soon. Emily dashed to the window to keep watch. Her dad always waved up at her, as if she were a princess in a London tower.