Only With a DNA Test—We Don’t Want Anyone Else’s Child, Declared the Mother-in-Law “Just a Hundred Thousand Pounds!” Lizbeth Sneered. “That’s a Bargain Price for Your Son’s Freedom! Or Maybe You Can Scrape Together Two Hundred?” “If I Have To, I’ll Find It,” Maria Muttered. “So, You Agree? If It’s Only a Matter of Price.” “Maria, Did You Think Long Before Making Me This Offer?” Lizbeth Asked. “Let’s Set Money Aside for Now! Woman to Woman—Tell Me Honestly.” “Let’s Skip the Sermons,” Maria Pulled a Sour Face. “None of Us Are Without Sin! And You, As a Mother of Many Kids, Should Understand—You’d Do Anything for Your Child…” “So, You Want to Simply Buy Me Off?” Lizbeth Shot Back. “Or Buy Off My Daisy? Throw Us Some Money Because We’re Struggling, and You Think That’ll Make Everything Alright? “Your Johnny Fooled My Daisy, Got Her Pregnant, and Now…” “I Don’t Even Know How to Put It—Is He Running Away, or Hiding Under His Mum’s Skirt So Someone Cleans Up After His Mess?” “Lizbeth, Let’s Be Honest,” Maria Said. “Johnny’s Only Eighteen! He’s Not Ready for a Family or a Child. He Needs to Study! Get a Job! How Could He Support a Family With a Child?” “And Johnny Didn’t Think of That When He Was Chasing After Daisy?” Lizbeth Scoffed. “Time He Learns About Grown-Up Responsibilities. “He’s Fathered a Child—He’d Better Step Up. Otherwise, There Are Plenty More Options—Courts, Child Support…” Maria’s Jaw Dropped in Shock. “Careful or a Crow Will Fly In!” Lizbeth Snorted. “Just Because I’m Run Off My Feet Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Know What’s Going On!” “I’m Not Here to Quarrel—I Want to Settle This Peacefully!” Maria Managed to Say. “And I’m Willing to Pay for the Trouble, So To Speak.” “And What Is It Exactly You Think You’re Paying For?” Lizbeth Asked. “For Johnny Getting Daisy Pregnant? For Running From Her for Two Months? Or for Daisy Going Off for an Abortion? Or Is This a Down Payment on Future Child Support?” Maria Was Stunned by the List, But That Last Point Especially Bothered Her. After All, That Meant Her Son Could Be Dragged Through the Courts at Any Time! “Don’t Try to Confuse Me!” Maria Waved a Finger. “I’m Offering You Real Money to Resolve This Once and For All! “How You Handle It Is Your Business—Have an Abortion, Keep the Baby, Put It Up for Adoption—I Don’t Care! “Just Make Sure My Johnny Is Out of It Completely! And If It’s Not Enough, Stop Preaching—Just Name Your Price! “I’ll Even Take Out a Loan in My Husband’s Name If Needed!” “Maria, Why Don’t You Just Get Lost!” Lizbeth Replied. “As a Decent Woman, I Won’t Say Where to Go. “But For Coming Here With Such an Offer—Well, You Don’t Know the First Thing About Decency! “So Take Your Money and Shove It—You Know Where and How Far!” “Lizbeth, Let’s Settle This Like Adults!” Maria Said Angrily. “Take Your Peaceful Intentions Elsewhere!” Lizbeth Retorted. “Or I’ll Let the Dog Out!” To the End, It Was Unclear if Maria Had Managed to Protect Her Son, But While Lizbeth Was Angry, She Wasn’t About to Let Her Daughter Anywhere Near Johnny. That Gave Him Time to Get His Life Together and Go Off to University. If Lizbeth Changed Her Mind, Johnny Would Be Long Gone—Off to the City, Where He Could Disappear for Years. Maria Barely Controlled Herself From Grabbing Lizbeth by the Hair: “Unbelievable—Too Proud to Take Money! “I Came Here to Help, and She Threatens to Let the Dog Out! “With People Like Her, You Wouldn’t Sit in the Same Field—She’d Run Circles Around You!” But Maria Didn’t Know Then It Wasn’t the End—This Was Just the Beginning. It Had Actually Begun Earlier— Most Parents Don’t Catch Wind of Their Kids’ Problems in Time. Usually, They Find Out Much Later, When There’s Not Much Left to Fix. When Maria Heard Through the Grapevine That Her Johnny Had Gotten Lizbeth’s Daisy Pregnant, Her Heart Nearly Stopped. “My Johnny Go for Daisy? But She’s—” Not Wanting to Say Too Much, Maria Changed Tack, “From a Big Family! He’d Never Look at Her!” “Just Passing on What I Heard,” Mrs. Ingram Said. “Ask Anyone in the Village—Everyone Knows, Except You!” As Mrs. Ingram Cackled, Maria Went Back Inside. Her Husband and Son Were Out in the Woods, Promising Not to Return Until Evening. Maria Was Supposed to Tidy Up the House, But Her Mind Was Elsewhere. The News Mrs. Ingram Brought Was the Worst Possible. “Why? How? With Who? Why Would We Want Anything to Do With Them?” After a Day of Nerves, Maria Was Nearly Beside Herself. When Johnny Came Home, She Laid Into Him: “What Were You Thinking? Aren’t There Proper Girls in the Village?” Johnny Had to Confess. He’d Hoped to Wait Out the Summer and Flee to College. Maybe He’d Get Away With It There. But Not Once His Mum Knew. Johnny Started Crying, Trying to Get Her Sympathy. He Was No Looker, Not Smart, Not Popular—But at That Age, His Hormones Were Raging and His Friends Teased Him About Being a Lifelong Bachelor. “But Daisy Said Yes!” “Daisy Would Say Yes to the Devil Himself!” Maria Fumed. “She’s Nineteen and Boys Run a Mile From Her! “No Sensible Lad Wants to Get Mixed Up With a Family Like That—they’re Dirt Poor, Kids Everywhere, Dad’s Laid Up! “You Marry Daisy, and You’ll Be Looking After Her Whole Brood for the Rest of Your Days!” “But Mum, She’s Kind and Gentle!” Johnny Sobbed. “And Her Looks Don’t Bother You?” Maria Snapped. Johnny Blushed and Looked Away. “It Only Happened a Couple of Times,” He Mumbled. “Once Is Enough!” Maria Responded. “Now You’ve Got Consequences to Deal With! “You’re Meant to Be Off to University! What Will You Do With a Kid? They’ll Slap You With Child Support!” “Maybe It’s Not Mine?” Johnny Asked Hopefully. “You Wish! But No One Else Would Go Near Daisy,” Maria Sighed. “If We Can’t Reach an Agreement, It’s DNA Test or Nothing—We Don’t Need Someone Else’s Cast-Off!” “She Swore She’d Always Be True,” Johnny Said. “Let’s Hope She Lied,” Maria Grumbled, Getting Out Their Savings Box. “George!” This Was Her Husband, So Johnny Left the Room. “Not Much in Here,” Maria Called Out. “It’s in the Account,” George Replied. “One More Week Until It Matures.Remember?” “Easy to Forget When Your Head’s Spinning!” Maria Collapsed Into a Chair. “Heard What Your Son Got Up To?” “Growing Up Fast!” George Grinned. “Should We Start Saving for the Wedding?” “Are You Crazy? What Wedding? With Who?” Maria Almost Choked. “Never! We’ll Pay Them Off. Think a Hundred Thousand Is Enough?” “How Would I Know? Lizbeth’s Hard Up Now—She Might Take Pennies!” “It’ll Take More Than That,” Maria Shook Her Head, Counting Up Their Cash. “We’ve Got Two Hundred Thousand. I’ll Offer a Hundred at First—if She Bargains, I’ll Go to Two. In a Week, There Might Be Five Hundred.” “Want Me to Come With?” George Asked. “You Should Have Watched Johnny Closer—Then We Wouldn’t Be Paying! I’ll Go Myself.” *** Lizbeth’s Response Was Vague, and There Was No Point Asking Daisy—She Definitely Had No Say in Anything. But Johnny Got Through the Summer and Went Off to College. His Parents Forbade Him From Coming Back Before Next Year. With the Main Character Gone, What Was There Left to Say About Him? People Talked About Daisy—Pregnant, Then a Mum. Lizbeth Copped Her Share, Too. “Couldn’t Even Get Maintenance Out of Johnny! Now They’ll Be Living On Air!” Lizbeth Answered the Village Gossip: “It’s None of Your Business! “We Won’t Be Knocking on Your Door for Help—We’ll Get By!” By June, Johnny Was Back in the Village. His Parents Kept Him Home. Once He’d Finished Exams, He’d Be Off Again—No Need to Be Seen! Uni Was Waiting. But Johnny Flunked the Exams—Badly. Not Even a Paid Place. “George, Go Talk to the Army Recruitment Office!” Maria Insisted. “If He Gets Drafted, He’ll Forget the Whole Thing! Maybe He’ll Get In Next Year!” No Luck. For Pushing Too Hard, George Caught a Beating and Got Fifteen Days’ Detention. When George Came Back, He Shared the Only Way for Johnny to Get an Exemption: “He Has to Marry Daisy and Acknowledge the Child! As Long as the Kid’s Under Three, He Gets a Deferment! “Then He Gives Daisy Another—Another Deferment! By Then He’ll Be Too Old to Serve!” “Have You Lost Your Mind?!” Maria Cried. “I’d Rather Send Him to the Enemy Than Have Those In-Laws!” “Then He’ll Have to Serve,” George Said. Maria Didn’t Want Her Son in the Army Any More Than She Wanted Him Married to Daisy…but What Choice Was There? “We’ll Beg if We Have To!” Maria Relented. “George, Grab the Cash! Maybe She’ll Agree…” “After She Told You Where to Go?” George Laughed. “After Everything She Heard About Us This Year? “Better Let Him Serve Than Let Lizbeth Make Us Her Village Punchline!” “I’ll Get Down on My Knees! And So Will You! We’ll Beg Her!” “I Can’t See Lizbeth Agreeing—Not After All This,” George Said. “Might as Well Send Johnny Off Into the Woods Till He’s Twenty-Seven!” “Get the Money and Let’s Go!” Maria Ordered.

Only with a proper paternity test. We dont need anyone elses troubles, proclaimed Mrs. Holt, my mother-in-law.

Only a thousand pounds! I scoffed. Thats a pitiful price for your sons freedom. Perhaps you can scrape together two thousand?

If I must, I shall, grumbled Mary. So, are you agreeing, then? If the matters only about the money.

Mary, tell me truthfully, did you think long before coming up with this? I asked, narrowing my eyes. Lets put the money aside for a moment. Tell me, woman to woman.

Lets not get into sermons, Mary replied, pulling a sour face. None of us are saints. And as a mother of several, you ought to know youd do anything for your child

So, you mean to just buy me off? I snapped. Or is it my Clara youre after? As though were desperate, so you throw some cash at us and alls well and good!

And what about your precious Henry, stringing along my Clara, leaving her in trouble, and now I dont even know what to call it. Bolting for the hedges or hiding behind your skirts! Wanting others to tidy up his mischief!

Lets be open, Lizzie, said Mary. My Henrys not even nineteen! Hows he fit for settling down and raising a child?

Hes to finish his studies, find steady work! What becomes of him, weighed down with a family at his age?

Was your Henry pondering all that when he was dallying with Clara? I retorted sharply. Let him begin learning what it is to be a grown man, to live with consequences!

He fathers a child; he ought to step up! If not, there are plenty of alternativescourt, maintenance payments

Mary gaped at me.

Shut your mouth, or a crow might fly in, I warned, stifling a laugh. Just because I toil from dawn till dusk doesnt mean I know nothing!

Ive not come to quarrel, but to settle this quietly! Mary said once shed regained her composure. And Im ready to pay for the inconvenience.

And what exactly are you buying? I glared. For Henry leaving my Clara with child? Or for vanishing for months? For expecting Clara to go for an abortion? Or is this the first instalment of support once the child is born?

Mary was unsettled by my list. But she particularly disliked the last optionafter all, someone could always come for her precious boy.

Dont try to throw me off! Mary wagged a finger. Im offering real money to end this, once and for all! What you do about it is your business. If you want to have an abortion, do. Or have the babe and keep it; or give it to an orphanage! Just make sure Henry wont ever be bothered by it. If the moneys not enough, spare me the lecturesname your price. If need be, Ill borrow from my husband!

Oh Mary, you can go to the devil! I spat. A respectable woman doesnt even have words to describe what youre suggesting. Clearly, you know nothing of decency!

So, you well know not only where you can go, but for how long, and where to stick your money as well!

Lizzie, lets sort this peacefully, Mary pressed.

Off you go with your peace! I shot back. Or Ill set the dog on you!

Truth be told, it was never clear whether Mary managed to save her son from trouble, but as long as I was seething, she knew Clara and Henry wouldnt come near each other.

So Henry had his respite, time to gather himself and quietly return to his studies. And should I change my mind, by then, Henry would be long goneoff to university in the city.

And the city is the city! One can vanish there for a lifetime.

Mary only just managed to stop herself from grabbing at my hair.

Would you look at thattoo proud for her own good! Turning her nose up at money! I came decently, and shes threatening me with her dog! What sort of woman is she? With folks like her, you wouldnt share a hay bale!

But Mary didnt yet know that this was far from the endit was only the beginning.

Though, in truth, the story started long before. Parents rarely learn of their childrens troubles in time. Its usually far too late, if ever, and youre left only hoping its not so late as to be beyond help.

When Mrs. Evans, the villages chief gossip, whispered into Marys ear that her Henry had got my Clara with child, the news nearly stopped her heart.

My Henry, with Clara? Nonsense, shes from Mary nearly said too much, but caught herself, that big brood! Theres nothing for him there! Henry wouldnt even glance her way!

Im telling you just as I heard, said Mrs. Evans. Ask anyone in the villagethey all know, except you!

While Mrs. Evans croaked with laughter, Mary slipped into the house. Husband and son were off in the woods and wouldnt be home til dusk.

Mary tried to go about her chores, but all fell from her grasp, and Mrs. Evans words kept circling her mind.

Oh, why? How? And for what? Who needs this mess?

By evening, Mary had worked herself into a fit. When Henry walked in, she pounced:

What were you thinking? Werent there enough decent girls in the village?

Henry had to confess. Hed hoped to hold out till the end of summer, then slip off to the neighbouring town for trade schoolout of reach.

But mummys wrath couldnt be dodged. Henry wept and tried to win her sympathy.

He wasnt much to look at, nor was he bright, nor broad shouldered. Not a favourite with the girls.

But he was of a certain age, with all the impulses, and the lads teased that hed be a recluse for life.

But Clara said yes! he sobbed.

Clara would say yes to any lad with a pulse! Mary fumed. Shes nearly twenty, and every boy in the village runs from her like shes cursed!

Youd have to be a fool to get tangled with such a familytheyre penniless, many-mouthed, and her fathers bedridden!

Marry a girl like Clara and youll be carrying her whole household for life!

But Mum, shes kind and gentle! Henry pleaded, wiping away tears.

And her looks didnt trouble you? Mary hollered. Honestly, how did you ever

Henry flushed and fell silent.

Good Lord, what wretched luck! Mary pressed a hand to her chest.

It was only a couple of times, Henry mumbled, eyes on the floor.

Thats all it takes! raged Mary. Youll be off to university in a yearhows that supposed to work with a babe? Theyll have you on support payments before you know it!

Maybe its not mine? Henry suggested hopefully.

Dont flatter yourselfwho else would bother? Mary sighed. If we cant settle, then only a proper paternity test will do. No illegitimate messes for us!

Though she swore shed always be faithful, Henry offered.

Best hope she lied, Mary muttered, fetching the old biscuit tin where they kept their savings. George!

That was for her husband, so Henry wisely slipped to another room.

George, were short on funds! Mary called out.

Its all in the savings account. Wait till next week, George replied coolly. Forgotten, have you?

Youd forget your own head! Mary collapsed into a chair with the tin in her lap. Did you hear what Henrys done?

Our boys grown up! George smiled. Well start planning a wedding!

A wedding? Are you mad? With whom? Mary was beside herself. Not in a million years! Well buy our way out! Think a thousand will do?

How should I know? George shrugged. But Lizzies in such straits now, shed be glad for a farthing!

Wont do, not for a farthing! Mary shook her head.

She counted the cash at hand and considered what lay in the account.

We can muster two thousand. Ill start with a thousand. If she haggles, up to two. If need be, in a week well have five.

She nodded in satisfaction.

Need me to come? George asked.

Had you watched our son closer, thered be no need to pay out! Mary grumbled. Ill manage myself.

***

Lizzie gave no concrete answer, and Claras opinion hardly matteredshed no say in the matter.

But Henry finished his summer and left for trade school in town, with strict instructions not to return until next summer.

And since the main character had left the village, well, no more gossip for him.

Instead, tongues wagged about Clara, who waddled through her pregnancy then gave birth. Lizzie caught her share, too.

Couldnt even wring support from Henry! Now shell be gnawing on her own knuckles!

And to such talk, Lizzie would snap, Mind your own business! Were not coming beggingwell manage!

By the end of June, Henry reappeared in the village, but his parents kept him locked in the cottage. Soon, hed be off to the city for university anywayno use letting him be seen around!

But Henry failed his exams so badly, not even fee-paying places would take him.

George, go see the recruiting office! He gets shipped to the Army, hell forget all about it! Mary demanded. Otherwise, next years another chance.

No luck with that. For Georges efforts, he ended up roughed up and had a spell in the local lockup.

On his return, he explained how Henry could get a deferment:

He needs to marry Clara and acknowledge the child! Hell get three years grace while the little ones young. Then give her another, more time still! By then, hell be too old for the draft!

Has sense left you? Mary exclaimed. Wouldnt wish such in-laws on an enemy!

Then off he goes to serve, George replied flatly.

Mary balked at sending her son to the Army more than anything, but there seemed no other way.

Well have to beg, Mary relented. George, take the biscuit tin! Lets hope she agrees

After she sent you packing? After a year listening to the villages tongue? George laughed darkly. Perhaps we ought to send Henry to the woods till hes twenty-seven!

Fetch the biscuit tin and come on! Mary ordered.

And that was how the matter stood all those years ago. Looking back, none of us could have guessed how the rest would unfold. As it is with families, the rumour-mill never really stops, and some wounds take more than a generation to heal.