“Oi, Jen! Jen, whyve you stopped dead like that? Come on, were gonna miss the film! We still need to grab popcorn,” called her mate, Emma.
Jen blinked, her heart suddenly racing. “Huh?”
“Whats up with you? Lets go! The lads are already waiting,” Emma said, sounding a bit annoyed.
“Em, honestly, I dont feel right. You go aheadIm heading back to halls,” Jen replied.
“Dyou need an ambulance? Youve gone proper pale,” Emma fretted.
“No, no Just say sorry to Steve for me, yeah?” Jen tried to keep her voice steady, but it wobbled.
“All right, then. Get some rest. Probably just exam stress,” Emma guessed.
“Yeah, probably,” Jen forced a laugh.
Emma left, glancing back a few times. Jen sank onto a bench, gulped some water, and wiped her face. Slowly, she felt better.
She hadnt told Emma the real reason shed frozen. It wasnt exams. Moments before, a pregnant woman with a pram and two kids had walked past. Emma hadnt noticed, but Jen Rubbing her cheeks, Jens mind flashed back ten years.
*
“Jen! Stop dawdling with the dishes. I need you to nip out for nappies,” her mum snapped, storming into the kitchen.
Jen dropped a plateit clattered into the sink. From the next room, baby Jake started wailing.
“Clumsy cow! Now go settle himI just got him down!” her mum shouted.
“Coming” Jen croaked, shuffling to the cot.
Jen was the eldest in a family where Dad had left before she turned two. Mum cycled through boyfriends, having a kid with each. Jen did the cleaning, cooking, and minding her younger siblings: Lily, Mia, Ollie, and Jake.
“He asleep?” Mum asked, cracking open a jar of jam.
“Mm-hmm” Jen whispered, heading back to the dishes.
“Leave those. Get the nappies. You can finish laterafter school,” Mum ordered.
“Mum, Ill be late. My form tutors already on my case,” Jen argued.
“Ten minutes wont kill you. I used to bunk off schoolturned out fine, didnt I?” Mum shrugged.
On her way back with the nappies, Jen bumped into classmates licking ice creams.
“Oi, lookits Mum of the Year,” one sneered.
The nickname had stuck since Jen was seen pushing prams. She just wanted to be normalhanging out, going to the cinema, reading books, chatting about boys. Not hauling nappies. She didnt hate her siblings, but she resented her mum.
*
At eighteen, Jen dreamed of freedom: uni, moving to Manchester. After Jakes maternity leave, Mum went back to work.
Then, one May morning, Jen found Mum pale and queasy.
“Mum, you okay?”
“No. Fry some eggs. The smell of foods making me sick,” Mum groaned.
“Whats wrong?” Jens voice shook.
“Dont be daft. Im pregnant. Me and Dave are having a kid,” Mum said flatly.
“Why? Youre forty”
“Like I wanted this? Dave insisted. Hes moving in, so well have to squeeze. Now go fry those eggs.”
That sealed it. Jen aced her exams, left in August, and never looked back.
In the city, she got a part-time job, made friends, and vowed never to have kids. Shed live for herself.
*
“Miss? You all right?” A blokes voice snapped her back.
“Sorry, what?”
“You looked faint. Need help?”
“Just tired. Didnt sleep well.”
“Fancy a coffee to perk up? Theres a nice café round the corner,” he offered warmly.
Jen agreed. His name was Tom. They hit it off, started dating. But the longer they were together, the more Jen felt a creeping dread. She mightve wanted marriagebut kids? No. Panic.
One evening, Tom took her to a posh restaurant. Jen braced herselfhed propose, and shed say no.
He slid open a velvet ring box.
“Jen, I love you. Will you marry me? But first theres something you should know.”
“Go on,” Jen whispered, tears blurring the ring.
“I cant have kids. Its definite. If you say yes, I need you to be sure. Adoptions not an option for me,” Tom admitted, voice shaky.
“Yes,” Jen burst out, crying properly now.
“Think hard, Jen.”
“I have. Ive got things to tell you toojust not here. But Ill never want kids. Ever.”
They married, moved to Bristol. Her mum and siblings dont even know where she is. Jens cut ties, blissful with Tom.
*
Finally, shes happy. Some might call it odd, but happiness is different for everyone. Their cosy home is peacefulTom works at a big firm, Jen runs the art studio shed always dreamed of.
Evenings, they sip tea on the balcony, chatting. Lifes simple, quiet, no drama. Some friends dont get it, but Jen knowsthis is what she wanted.
Sometimes, she thinks of her childhood. But now, the memories dont hurt. Theyre just part of her storythe one that led her here. And watching Tom smile, Jen knows: she chose right.
