What is She Lacking
Journal Entry
This afternoon, I took my four-year-old, Alfie, down to the playground. Hardly had we set foot there when Alfie ran off to play with a little boy, who turned out to be a bit younger. As luck would have it, his mum immediately came over to introduce herself.
Hello, were your new neighboursweve just moved into the next flat along, she said, gesturing at the building opposite. My sons Tommyhes three. Im Kate, by the way.
Lovely to meet you, Im Victoria, and Alfie turned four just last week.
That was how Kate and I became fast friends. Wed meet up with the kids at the playground, and sometimes wed stroll to the park nearby. Kate was incredibly chatty and open, very down to earth. She had a friendly face that always wore a smile, and I sensed right away that shed grown up in the countryside, even though she seemed keen to present herself as a city lass.
I wouldnt have even noticed her rural background, but Kate was oddly eager to discuss it herself, and shed point it out in others with a touch of scorn.
Would you look at what shes wearingabsolute country bumpkin, she might say about some other neighbour or a passer-by.
Shed often share tales of her old life in the village.
My mother-in-law has always been difficultso we were bickering from the moment I married Mike. When Tommy was born, she flat-out told Mike that he couldnt be his real son, accused me of cheating!
But why would she say that? Most grans dote on their grandkids, I said, surprised.
Look at himhes my double, shed grin.
True, Tommy really does take after you. But why didnt your husband defend you? I asked, slightly outraged. Kids arent always the spitting image of their dads.
Mike can never get a word in with his mother. She has a go, and he stands there like a boy again, just taking it. She never wanted us to move to the city, either. I told Mike straightif we didnt move, Id divorce him, and hed never see his son again. He loves that boy so much. If I hadnt put my foot down, hed still be stuck at his mums, and wed never have gotten this mortgage.
I sympathised with her.
Some men never break free of their parents, but if he wanted a family, he needed to step up and protect iteven if that means standing up to his mother.
Eventually, I got to know Mike as well. Our buildings were right by each other, and soon we were hosting tea at one anothers flats. My own husband, Oliver, was pleased to get to know them.
Our boys were the best of friends, but one thing did bother meKate often cut Mike down in front of everyone.
Mike, do us all a favour and keep quieta bit of the country always shows through with you, shed mutter, even though he was a good bloke who knew his stuff.
Even Oliver was surprised, but he kept out of it. Mike would sit there uncomfortable, never daring to answer back, especially not in company.
Over time, Kate shared more. To be fair, Mikes quite an easy-going man. Earns well; we want for nothing. He does all the shoppingI never hae to carry anything heavy. Hes brilliant with Tommy, always gives me time to cook or tidy, sometimes even helps out with the chores. Takes Tommy for walks to the park every weekend.
Kate, youre luckyhes a proper family man, you should appreciate that, Id often say.
Oliver, by contrast, wasnt so hands-on with Alfiehed rather watch the football on telly and blame it on being tired from work. Occasionally, it would cause a row, and hed nip off to the pub with his mates. But I accepted thats just how he is, and over the years, I found my own ways to cope. What mattered was that he earned well, handed over his wages, and never barked at me about spending. I ran the home the way I wanted. If something needed fixing or lifting, Oliver was always there without complaint. And if Alfie asked him himself, he never said no to a trip to the swings.
I never criticised my husband in front of othersI respected him, unlike Kate with Mike. Both of us worked, our boys were in nursery, and most evenings wed catch up at the playground. Wed invite each other to birthday parties, and often celebrated the holidays together.
One day, I noticed new neighbours across the waya couple and their daughter, about eight. It was clear as soon as they moved in, they were well-off, not wanting for anything. The husband, Richard, ran his own business, and his wife, Sophia, was a homemaker.
Richard had a luxury car. Sophia drove a smaller one, taking their daughter, Daisy, to music lessons and swimming. Sophias job was to collect Daisy from school, cart her to clubs, and prepare dinner for Richard.
Kate looked on with envy.
You can see theyve got moneylook how they dress, the life they lead. No wonder Sophia doesnt work, she said to me.
I was surprised. How do you know their names?
I met Richard when he pulled up outside. He got out of his car, and Tommy and I happened to be passing by.
Not long after, I met them myself when Sophia rang our flat, holding a pie.
Good evening, said this elegantly dressed woman, shyly. Weve been here a month and still havent met you. Today marks a year since I lost my mumperhaps youll remember her with us?
We invited Sophia in for tea, and thats how our friendship began. She could never make the evening walks to the playground, always busy with Daisy, who was a model pupil with a packed schedule of clubs and lessons.
Kate met Sophia too. I liked hera genuinely kind and friendly neighbour who valued her family and never gossiped. Her husband and daughter were always smartly turned out.
A little over a year passed, and I noticed Sophia often seemed withdrawn and rarely smiled.
Soph, is everything alright? You look a bit lost lately.
Oh, Vicky, dont worry. Everythings fine, shed reply, but I could sense something was wrong. Maybe she didnt want to air her dirty laundry, as the saying goes.
One weekend, I decided to bake a cherry cake, but with my blender broken, I thought Id borrow Sophias. I rang the bellno answer. On a whim, I tried the handle and, to my surprise, the door opened. She must have forgotten to lock it.
I stepped in to find Sophia sat on the sofa, dabbing tears away with a tissue. She looked startled to see me.
Vicky! How did you get in?
Your door wasnt locked, I explained gently. Soph, you dont have to keep it to yourself. Whats going on?
For a while, Sophia hesitated, then sighed deeply.
Your friend Kate has been seeing my husband. Sometimes I see her out the window, waiting for him in the morning, climbing into his carthey must head off to work together. I kept quiet, but the other night Richard was in the bath, and his phone kept pinging. Ive never peeked before, but the messages wouldnt stop. I lookedand it was Kate. Shed sent him revealing messagesone in just her underwear. Can you imagine how I felt, Vicky?
My jaw dropped. My word, SophI never would have thoughtWhat did Richard say?
He came out and found me with his phone. He realised instantly andwell, it was the first time wed been in a situation like that. Hes always been a devoted husband and father. Of course, we argued.
Richard, whats this? I demanded.
Dont worry about itits nothing, Soph, he tried to brush it off.
How can you say that? If Kate is sending you that sort of photo, it isnt nothing. I cant just forgive thatnot after this.
Please, Sophia, treat it as a misunderstanding, a silly infatuation.
A misunderstanding? Richard, I wont have Daisy exposed to this. The only reason Im holding on is knowing shed suffer terribly if we split.
Dont be silly, Soph. Divorce? Look, maybe Im wrong to say this, but Kate came onto me. I gave in. Now she wont stop messaging me. Im so sorryI cant lose you or Daisy. Youre everything to me. It was just a brief lapseI swear.
Right then, sitting there together, Richard texted Kate to tell her it was overno more contact, this had to stop. He said he was sorry, but his family meant everything.
Soph, maybe you can forgive him? At least hes owned up and drawn a line under it. I never expected Kate to do something like that, I advised.
I think I do forgive him already, Sophia confided. Hes been all out of sorts. I know Richard, and I believe him.
She did forgive him, and he truly regretted everything, going above and beyond to close that chapter and make things right. His family was his world.
Not long after, I confronted Kate directly.
Kate, whats the point of all this? Mike adores you and Tommy, earns well, looks after you, helps with everything. What on earth are you missing? Why hurt another family, and Sophia too?
She didnt even blink.
Oh, Vicky, the mortgage, the perfect house, the boring Mr. Reliable, always so calmits all a bit dull now. I want more passionlove, excitement, a bit of danger. You and Sophia worship your husbands, fussing over your children like mother hens. Thats just not me. I want to live life to the full while Im young and beautiful!
She truly didnt seem to feel any guilt.
Kate, if you want that kind of life, its your choice. But dont destroy someones familyand think of Mike. Where would you find a man like him again? Happiness built on someone elses pain never lasts. Better to be a mother hen than betray your own family.
Whether it was guilt or fear of being found out, Kate pulled back, stopped messaging Richard, barely nodded hello to Sophia or me after that.
Thank you for reading my little rambling, for your company and support. Wishing you kindness and good fortune on your journeys.
