Ive never really understood why today so many people are quick to criticise the way some parents brought up their children in the past. I was raised by a very strict father. He was stern, controlling, and completely unyielding. Our days were mapped out, there were clear rules, and there were consequences whenever I broke them. I couldnt be late, couldnt make plans on a whim, and every decision had to be run past him first. As a teenager, I despised him for it. There were so many times I just couldnt stand it.
Dad always kept an eye on my grades, my friends, how I spent my time. He demanded I study, finish what I started, take responsibility for my actions. There was never any bargaining. If he said no, it meant no. While my friends were off going out or loitering about, I was usually at home. Others slept in, but I had chores. At the time, it all felt terribly unfair, like he didnt trust me or believe in me.
At the same time, I looked at my cousinsthe daughters of my uncle, who was the complete opposite sort. He was relaxed, with it, played the mate to his children. He let them go wherever they liked, didnt press them about school, rarely gave them a hard time. Whenever we gathered at family dos, I could see how easily they laughed and joked with him, how they seemed to be on equal footing. I was incredibly envious of them.
While I had to justify every choice, they seemed to float through life without a worry. They swapped courses, took long breaks from their studies, started and abandoned countless things. No one pressured them. No one told them off. I remember thinking, “I wish my dad was like that.” Back then, my uncle seemed the perfect father, while my own felt more like a warder.
But the years went by. I finished my education, earned my degree, got a job, became self-reliant. I learnt to support myself, meet deadlines, shoulder responsibilities, without anyone breathing down my neck. Now, I have stability, a particular mindset, and inner strength. Everything wasnt rosy, but his exacting standards definitely left their mark.
My cousins, meanwhile, are still dependent on others. They never quite finished anything, never settled in a career, always seem to be at the starting line. Theyre decent people, but life is an uphill struggle for themalways drifting, never assuming control. They often say lifes unfair and moan that no ones given them a hand.
Nowadays, I see everything in a different light. I dont idolise strictness, but I dont demonise discipline either. Dad wasnt soft or demonstrative like others, but he was consistent. He didnt make my life easyhe taught me how to stand on my own two feet. And though for years I thought his way was far too much, I now realise I owe my life as it is to him.
Of course, Im not saying everyone should be brought up the same way. But I do think that a lot of the things people criticise today once helped shape capable adults. Sometimes, the things we see as unfairness while young become the very framework we need as adults.
Or perhaps Im wrong?
