Where are you two off to? Weve come all this way to see you!
I cant stand your sister! Jane exclaimed, pulling a face. She drives me up the wall!
Youre not the only one, replied James, siding instantly with his wife.
She interferes in everything and acts like she knows it all. You should see the smug look on her face whenever she manages to embarrass me, Jane muttered under her breath. One day my upbringing is all wrong, the next my make-up is hopelessly old-fashioned
Shes always been like that, James shrugged. Mums to blame for letting her get away with everything, spoiling her rotten.
At least we live sixty miles from your lot, Jane said, rolling her eyes.
Jamess mum, Margaret, and his sister, Charlotte, lived in London, while Jane and James had settled in a small village not far from Oxford. The two women were both widowed and shared a flat. So, every time James and Jane went to visit his mum, they inevitably ended up at Charlottes as well.
Charlotte could barely stand Jane, and that meant conflict between them was almost guaranteed.
At first, Jane bit her tongue and kept quiet during visits, but after a while, she started biting back. The problem only got worse when Margaret, easily influenced, began joining her daughter in criticising Jane.
Every family visit ended in a row, so Jane and James decided it was better to stop going altogether.
It didnt take long for Margaret to notice, and soon she was phoning her son demanding an explanation.
Why no more visits? Thats a fortnight without seeing you. Dont you think your mum and sister miss you? she scolded.
Weve just got so much on, no spare time, James replied curtly, not wanting to get into details.
Whats so important? Is your wife stopping you? Last time she looked like shed swallowed a lemon whole, Margaret pressed, suspicious.
I told you, weve things to sort, James said, keen to end the call.
But an hour later, Margaret rang back to announce that she and Charlotte were coming to visit them in the village.
Why? James sounded surprised.
Were visiting an old friend there and wanted to see you while were at it, Margaret replied meaningfully.
James blanched. Hed been giving the family a wide berth to avoid just this situation.
We might not even be home, he warned, hoping to put them off.
And where would you be? Margaret replied, sounding annoyed. Its obvious you just dont want to see us. At least be honest.
We have to go to a birthday party, James blurted suddenly.
Well, off you go then! Heaven forbid your mum and sister should expect a proper welcome! Margaret huffed before hanging up.
James felt a bit guilty, but after remembering how theyd treated Jane during previous visits, he shrugged it off.
He didnt tell Jane about the attempted visit; why worry her over nothing?
That proved a mistake. Three hours later, the doorbell rang, and Jane answered to the unwelcome sight of Margaret and Charlotte on the doorstep, both wearing smirks.
James, suddenly recalling their call, rushed into the hallway.
Jane, are you ready yet? Not dressed?! he scolded, acting as if he hadnt just forgotten about the party.
Ready for what? Jane asked, confused.
The party, remember? Youve forgotten, havent you? James forced a grin. Mum, Charlotte, what brings you here?
I called you about it, didnt I? Margaret replied evenly. Are you going to let us in or keep us on the step?
Sorry, you cant come in were just about to leave, James cut her off, grabbing Jane by the arm. Jane, go and get changed.
Jane shot him an uncertain look, but he gave her a quick wink, making his plan to eject their guests clear.
Go where? We came to see you! Charlotte said, folding her arms. Isnt it a bit late for a party?
We need to be there by eight, James explained tightly. Its a proper sit-down do starts soon.
And are you planning to go like that? Margaret scoffed, glancing at Jamess casual clothes.
Oh, blast, I forgot to change, James mumbled, rushing to the bedroom.
Charlotte and Margaret exchanged an incredulous look, both clearly unconvinced by the excuse.
They were sure Jane and James had made the whole party up just to get rid of them.
Couldnt you call it off, for our sake? Margaret challenged when James returned in a suit.
Sorry, cant be helped, James said brusquely, fiddling with his collar. Its all paid for, per head. Weve got to go. Why not come round next week instead? he added, knowing full well it would be refused.
Perhaps well just stay here until you get back? Charlotte suggested, eyeing the living room.
No need for that, James replied firmly. Youve got your friend here, havent you?
Well, Id still rather sit here than traipse around to some old friends. She wasnt exactly delighted to see us, Margaret said drily.
I can drop you at the bus station? James offered, making it clear hed rather they left.
There arent any more buses to London at this hour, and you cant take us all the way, can you? Charlotte retorted slyly.
I can always book you a room in the village hotel, James said brightly. Thats the best I can offer tonight.
Margaret frowned in disappointment, realising her son wouldnt budge.
The hotel, is it? Charlotte said, offended. Worried well pinch something if you leave us here alone?
Of course not, Jane interjected. Its just that we dont let anyone stay when were not home. Plain and simple.
Ill pop you over to the hotel then, James suggested, trying to keep the peace.
Dont bother! Margaret snapped, marching out.
Charlotte followed, grumbling all the way about her thankless brother and his stuck-up wife.
Once theyd gone, Jane and James peered through the window, then let out a relieved sigh.
No more need for the silly party pretence.
Margaret and Charlotte called a cab and headed back to London, resolving not to speak to their ungrateful relatives again.
James only thought about them on his next trip to London, when, needing somewhere to have lunch after a doctors appointment, he went past Margaret and Charlottes flat.
Charlotte answered, scowling at her brother. She told him bluntly that she and Margaret were just leaving and didnt want to leave a stranger alone in their place.
James realised, with regret, that his mum and sister were genuinely hurt.
After that day, all contact dissolved for good between James and his family.
