Im forty-five now and divorced. The separation happened a few years ago; since then, Ive done my best to be a responsible father to my son. I work hard, pay my way, and make sure Im genuinely present in his lifenever just in passing.
After my marriage ended, I didnt shut myself away or withdraw from the world. I kept going out, welcomed social invitations, met new people, and allowed myself the possibility to start another relationship. I refused to run away from life.
Over the years, Ive had my fair share of dates. Some introduced through friends, others I met via online apps, and a few encounters happened quite by chance. There have been evenings at the local pub, coffee dates, trips to the cinema, long walks in the park, and weekends shared together. Nothing forced or artificialeverything with the hope of finding something genuine and lasting.
A couple of relationships lasted only weeks. Others, several months. In some, that initial spark faded quickly; with others, things felt distant from the start. Sometimes I was ready to move forward, and the other person wasntor it was the other way round. It ended, simply.
Most of the time, conversations stayed at the surface: work, daily routines, children, schedules. When I tried to dig deeper, to talk about feelings, purpose, or the future, the interest seemed to evaporate. More than once, I realised my world didnt fit with theirsmy time, obligations, and reality didnt match what they were looking for.
There were women who didnt want to date a divorced man. Some preferred not to get involved with someone who already had a child. Many said they wanted a serious relationship, but in reality, werent emotionally or practically available. Over time, I noticed a patternnothing ever went further.
There were evenings when I got home after a date and felt nothing. No sadness, no excitement. Just clarity that there was no reason to continue. Ive also been the one to say no, when I understood there was no future for us.
Today, Im still on my own. Not because I havent tried, or because Ive closed myself off, but because I havent quite managed to build something new after my divorce.
And I wonder
Why is it this way?
Whats missingsomething in me, in the times we live in, or in the lives of those who meet after a divorce?
What do you think?
