The situation stands like this. When my daughter had her baby, I did my best to support her: I looked after my granddaughter, took her out for walks, fed her, washed her baby clothes. I tried to give my daughter some rest because I understand how demanding it is to care for a child.
But then, my help started to be taken for granted. My daughter and her husband began visiting the gym, going out with friends, and bringing my granddaughter round with the words, Youre staying with Grandma, weve got things to sort out. And it didnt matter whether I had plans myself. I believe that, at least in retirement, I deserve to enjoy some time for my own wants.
Often, my daughter phones me in the afternoon and asks if I could pick my granddaughter up from nursery because she cant, as shes got a work party scheduled, and my son-in-law has gone fishing. Yes, I am annoyed, but I go and collect my granddaughter.
Today, something truly astonishing happened. My daughter rang me and told me theyre heading to Spain for a fortnight for a holiday. I was pleased and said the little one would have a wonderful time, and see and explore new things. It turned out, however, that they’re leaving without her, deciding my granddaughter would stay with me during that period. Just like that. They didnt even ask for my opinion! They simply told me their plan as a matter of fact.
I couldnt hold back anymore and told my daughter that I am not a childminder. They have a child and need to organise their lives with that in mind. Travels, leisure, and all their desires should be planned considering that they are parents now.
I asked her why they made the decision without asking me. My daughter replied, Youre retired. Youve got nothing better to do anyway. I told her I dont agree to look after my granddaughter for that time since I have plans myself, and my friend and I are going to a B&B for a getaway. They should take their daughter with them.
This led to an argument with my daughter, who told me Im a dreadful grandmother. But I simply believe Im not a nanny, nor am I a servant.
