Emily has been waiting for baby Harry for years, but the pregnancy proves difficult and he arrives premature, lying in an incubator. Many of his organ systems are underdeveloped, so he needs a ventilator, two surgeries and a retinal detachment repair. They say goodbye to him twice, yet Harry survives.
Soon it becomes clear that his vision and hearing are almost nonexistent. Physically he slowly catches up: he sits up, grabs a toy, then shuffles toward a support. Mentally, however, he makes no progress. At first both parents cling to hope; later David, his father, slips away quietly, leaving Emily to fight alone.
When Harry is three and a half, she secures a NHS funding slot and he receives cochlear implants. He now hears a little, but development still stalls. Emily brings him to specialistsspeech therapists, psychologists, developmental paediatriciansand visits me repeatedly with Harry.
I suggest another approach, then another, then another. Emily tries everything, yet nothing changes. Most of the time Harry sits silently in his padded playpen, spinning a small object, tapping it on the floor, biting his hand, sometimes emitting a single mournful note, other times a modulated whine. Emily insists Harry recognises her, calls to her with a special coo and loves being patted on his back and legs.
Eventually an elderly psychiatrist tells Emily, What diagnosis do you need now? Hes a walking vegetable. Decide what to do and move oneither discharge him or continue caring for him. Theres no point hoping for dramatic improvement. He is the only professional who states anything decisive. Emily places Harry in a specialneeds nursery and returns to work.
A few months later she buys a motorbikea dream shes always had. She rides through London streets and the Surrey countryside with fellow bikers; the roar of the engine drowns out her anxieties. David continues to pay child support, and Emily spends it on weekend carersHarry isnt hard to look after once you accept his rhythm.
One day a biker friend, Mark, tells Emily, Theres something tragic but fascinating about you.
Come on, Ill show you, Emily replies.
Mark smiles, thinking shes inviting him home. She leads him to Harry, who at that moment is alert, whimpering in a modulated tone, probably recognising his mother or reacting to the stranger.
What a surprise! Mark exclaims.
Surprised, werent you? Emily retorts.
Soon they not only ride together but move in together. They agree that Mark will never touch Harry (they discuss it beforehand) and Emily respects that boundary. Later Mark suggests, Lets have a child. Emily snaps, What if another one turns out like him? Mark falls silent for almost a year, then says, Alright, lets try.
Jack is born, perfectly healthy. Mark jokes, Maybe we should place Harry in a care home now that we have a normal son? Emily fires back, Id rather put you in one. Mark backs off, I was just asking
When Jack is about nine months old and begins to crawl, he becomes fascinated by Harry. Mark, wary, warns, Dont let the boy get near him; its dangerous. But Mark is often at work or on his bike, while Emily lets the children play together. When Jack crawls beside Harry, Harry doesnt whine; instead he seems to listen and wait. Jack brings toys, shows how to play, even squeezes and folds Harrys tiny fingers.
One weekend Mark falls ill and stays home. He sees Jack wobbling around the flat, murmuring for attention, while Harry, who usually hides in a corner, follows him like a shadow. Mark erupts, demanding a fence between his son and that idiot, or constant supervision. Emily points silently to the door. Mark freezes, they reconcile, and Emily later comes to me.
Hes a little monster, but I love him, she says.
Thats natural, I reply.
I was actually talking about Mark, she clarifies. Harry is a danger to Jackwhat do you think?
I explain that Jack is clearly the stronger partner in the pair, but supervision is still needed. They agree on that.
At eighteen months, Jack teaches Harry to stack blocks by size. Jack himself strings sentences together, sings simple songs and recites nursery rhymes like The crow cooked porridge.
Is he a prodigy? Emily asks me.
Mark wanted to find out, I answer. Hell be proud if the kids start talking at this age.
I think its because of Harry, I suggest. Not every toddler becomes the catalyst for someone elses development.
Emily beams, Good! Ill tell this eyeswideopen log.
I think of the family as a walking vegetable, a log with eyes, a bikerriding mother and a budding prodigy. After mastering the potty, Jack spends six months coaxing his brother to use it. He also teaches Harry to eat, drink from a cup, dress and undresstasks Emily sets for Jack herself.
When Jack is three and a half, he asks directly, Whats wrong with Harry?
First of all, he cant see, Jack replies.
Can see, Harry protests silently. Just poorly. He sees a lot in the bathroom mirror light, though.
An ophthalmologist, puzzled by Harrys condition, listens to Jacks description, orders further tests and prescribes specialty glasses.
Harry never fits in the specialneeds nursery. He needs a mainstream school! What a clever kid! the nursery manager snaps. He knows more than the others.
I argue strongly against early school entry: let Jack attend clubs and work on Harrys development. Surprisingly, Mark agrees and tells Emily, Stay with them until schoolwhy force him into that silly nursery? And have you noticed your sons stopped howling for a year?
Six months later Harry says, Mum, dad, Jack, give me a drink, meowmeow. Both boys start school together. Jack worries, What will he be like without me? Will the specialists understand him? Will they accept him? In Year5, Harry still works with Jack on lessons before moving on to his own work.
Harry now speaks in short sentences, reads, uses a computer, enjoys cooking and tidying (under Jacks or Emilys guidance), loves sitting on the village green bench watching, listening and smelling everything. He knows every neighbour and always greets them. He enjoys shaping plasticine, building and dismantling LEGO.
But his favourite thing is when the whole family rides motorbikes down a country laneEmily on hers, Jack with Mark, and Harry perched beside his mum, all shouting into the wind.
