Clearly Not Meant to Be
– Young man, what on earth do you think youre doing? Arent you ashamed of yourself?! The girl stared at Andrew with horror-stricken eyes. He was so stunned he could muster no defence at all.
– Hang on, youve got the wrong idea, Andrew muttered unconvincingly.
But the girl didnt care to hear any explanations. She strode over, snatched her purse from him, and landed a sharp slap across his cheek.
*****
From last night and through to morning, Andrew had done little but drink tea and chat online with a user named YourEnglishRose.
Hed sent the first, admittedly dull, Hello!; she replied a minute later, Hello to you! And slowly, chat by chat, they started to enjoy themselves.
It was a good conversation, flowing freely, Andrews fingers dancing across his laptop keys. He imagined he might truly get on with this sweet blue-eyed blonde (he prayed her avatar was real) be it as friends or perhaps something more.
Crucially, she seemed willing to get closer. When hed dared to venture, Fancy a coffee in town one day? Maybe well really hit it off, shed replied, Could be, with a winking emoji for good measure.
Then she asked him what he did for work and
somehow it all went awry.
Why did I have to tell her about my job? And send her a photo from my desk? Andrew fumed to himself.
Not angry at the girl at himself.
But then again
– Shed have found out sooner or later. Best not to start with a lie. What then, Andrew?
The answer was obvious. Shed have found out, and either ghosted or, even worse, said to his face what she had just typed.
He read the message again: Im sorry, but no sysadmin who sits in swivel chairs all day will ever interest me. Andrew considered a sharp retort.
But thought better of it. Why give her the satisfaction? Instead, he sent back an emoji tears of laughter before slamming his laptop shut, perhaps a bit harder than intended, as a small crack sounded beneath the lid.
He didnt check for damage. He was sick to death of disappointments as it was.
For nearly three months, hed spent his spare time on dating apps, searching for the one.
But instead, all hed found was reinforcement that it was hopeless; he wouldnt meet anyone there.
Take English Rose, for instance. Hed spent the whole night talking if you can call it that and in the end, she pied him.
Girls like her, it seemed, believed the only men worth noticing were those with their own businesses not those reinstalling Windows in office blocks.
As if thats all he did. There was more to his job and it wasnt badly paid either.
But what did it matter now?
Andrew put on a retro radio station, hoping to shake off the gloom. And, just his luck, what came on but a song by Natalie Imbruglia:
– Guess its not meant to be, not meant to be, she sang, as if taunting him. Guess there isnt love for me, isnt love for me
He switched off at once but silently agreed: Not meant to be. No love for me.
– Why did I bother with those dating apps? Such a waste of time.
But he had to try his best mate Michael had suggested it.
– I met my Sally there! Michael had boasted, swelling with pride, making Andrew feel both left-out and envious.
Whats wrong with me? Cant I find a good girl like Sally?
Turns out meeting a girl like Sally was a one-in-a-million shot, and Michael had lucked out.
As for him Hed have to put up with the fact that sysadmins just werent fashionable these days. Or, maybe, it simply wasnt meant to be.
– All right, enough self-pity, Andrew scolded himself. Whos to say it would have worked out with her anyway?
He looked at the clock half seven in the morning yawned widely, and reckoned hed earned a proper sleep. It was his day off and there was nothing pressing to do.
*****
Andrew had barely stretched out in bed and picked up his phone to turn off the ringer when Michael rang.
Speak of the devil
– Andy, mate, morning! Listen, its urgent I really need a favour. Now, if you can.
– Morning, Mike, Andrew yawned again. I havent slept all night, was just settling in. Cant it wait?
– It cant, mate. Theres no one else I can ask. Youre the only one I trust.
Here we go again
– I just really need you this time, mate. Not life and death, but if you dont help me out, my perfect little marriage could crack apart.
How does he do it? Andrew smirked. He hasnt said much and yet I already feel guilty. But thats how it went: Michael was Head of IT, and Andrew worked under him.
– Whats gone wrong? Server down? Database bust again? I did warn you something could crop up
– Nah, nothing to do with work. Look, just let me swing by and explain? Dont go anywhere.
– Okay.
A minute later, his doorbell rang. Andrew trudged over, still half-asleep, and opened the door to Michael grinning wide and
Barney.
And whats with the dog?
– Made good time from the other side of town, Andrew joked. Dont tell me youd been waiting at the bottom for me to pick up?
– You got me! Michael laughed, shaking his hand.
Andrew expected a handshake only to receive, instead, Barneys leather lead.
He looked from the lead, attached to Barneys collar, to his friend.
– I dont understand. Whats this about?
– Andy, mate, Sally won a weeks trip to Italy. For two! Five-star hotel, sightseeing, guides everything. She really wants to go wants me to come too.
– Youre not thrilled? Andrew grinned, well aware of Michaels terror of flying.
– Of course not. I told her, Take a friend instead, but she said, No, only you. And then threatened: If you wont come, Ill stay in Italy for good!
– Blimey, Andrew replied, eyeing both the lead and the dog who was now gazing at him intently.
Hed met Barney before. The intensity of his stare was a bit much, almost like he was the one making a promise.
Andrew had a hunch where this was going.
– Sallys joking, Im sure, Michael continued. But I cant let her go alone to a foreign country. And I dont trust her friends to keep her out of trouble, either. So, I promised: well go together. Fly out Wednesday.
– What about work?
– The boss, to my shock, just waved it off. Of course, Michael, go ahead! Youve earned the break. Can you believe it?
– Hard to, actually, Andrew replied. Two years and not a decent holiday between us.
– I was baffled too. Maybe Sally asked him for me. Who knows. By the way, youre acting manager while Im away.
– No kidding!
– See? I knew youd be chuffed.
Absolutely delighted
– Anyway, theres just one snag: Barney. I cant take him, and theres no one else. Will you look after him?
– Oh, Mike You know Im not big on dogs, and Ive no real experience
– You dont need any! Michael grinned. Ill bring you his food, bowls and favourite blanket. Hes no trouble not a puppy, after all.
Well see
– All you have to do is walk him, morning and evening. I wont even offer you money, because I know youll say no. But you can take days off in return.
– I hope he doesnt bite, or chew through my shoes, or bark all night?
– Nope, Barneys extremely clever. None of that nonsense! Only thing Michael looked at Barney.
– What?
– Hes a bit of an escape artist. Doesnt like leads. He wants his freedom.
– So, what, I chase him all over London? Andrew said.
– Chase? No. Michael laughed. He always comes back. Just keep an eye on him, in case.
– All right. Ill look after your mutt, Andrew sighed, gripping the lead in resignation.
Michael was barely out the door before Andrew felt responsible for the furry beast.
– Knew I could count on you! Thanks, mate.
– But listen, Mike: if your Barney trashes the flat, youre footing the repairs. Deal?
– Deal. He wont, trust me.
*****
When Andrew woke it was already twilight outside. He poured food in Barneys bowl and set it down.
– Dinner time, mate. You must be hungry, Andrew stroked the dogs head.
But Barney gazed back at him with a distinctly human look of confusion and resolutely lay there, ignoring the bowl.
– Not hungry? Or
Ah, right Mike said you have erm principles. No meals before a walk in the fresh air.
– All right, lets get some air. Frankly, I need a breather myself. Maybe Ill see some happy people for a change since love isnt exactly working out for me!
On hearing this, Barneys tail thumped happily. He leapt up, snatched the lead, and trotted to the hallway.
*****
They walked the park for nearly an hour, and, interestingly, Barney made no attempt to run off.
He only tugged the lead if Andrew lingered too long at a bench. A model companion, really. Andrews fears of trouble were, so far, unfounded.
But the next evening, the trouble arrived.
The morning walk had gone smoothly. But come the evening, as Andrew texted Michael (Alls well!), he suddenly realised the lead was slack.
Barney was gone, collar and all.
– Great. Just what I needed Andrew muttered, setting off to search the park.
Hed been there plenty of times and had a sense of the possible hideouts. But who knew where a dog might wander.
Half an hour later, still no sign of Barney. Puffing with worry, Andrew was pacing the lawns when he saw a girl.
She was lovely, though she looked distracted, even sad.
– Sorry, have you seen a dog about? Sort of small, ginger and white, he asked.
– What? Oh! She hadnt realised he was speaking to her.
Shes gorgeous he thought, then repeated himself.
– I said, have you by any chance seen a dog? Hes slipped his lead, running free.
– A dog? No, sorry. She turned and walked on.
Andrew thought of following Barneys trail, but a sudden concern for the girl gnawed at him. He caught up.
– Sorry, but are you alright? You seem a bit down. Something wrong?
– Yes
– Can I help at all?
– I doubt it. Ive lost my purse and cant remember where. It had money for my mums medicine. I dont suppose youve found it?
– No, I havent.
– Thats a shame. Thank you for caring, though. Its nice to know some people still do.
There was nothing more to say, really. Each had their own quest and so they parted.
Did the young woman dwell on the encounter? Andrew couldnt stop thinking about her. Not the blonde from the dating app but so lovely in her own, real way.
– Barney! Barney! Andrew scoured the park, then sagged onto a bench, ready to message Michael the bad news.
Suddenly, a small dog-shaped silhouette appeared.
Barney, tail wagging, raced over. In his mouth: something pink.
It wasnt clear at first, but as Barney drew closer, Andrew saw a pink purse, patterned with gold diamonds and a tiny gold crown in the centre. Exactly as the girl described.
Blimey, what are the chances! Andrews heart leapt. He pictured himself as the storybook hero, rescuing the princesss treasure.
He opened the purse, hoping to find a phone number or some clue.
And then the girl appeared.
– What do you think youre doing? Have you no shame?! she cried, horror in her eyes. Andrew was so shocked he couldnt answer.
It did look rather dodgy.
– Its not what you think Andrew stumbled through his words. My dog brought this to me. I was looking for your number.
She didnt want to hear it. She strode over, snatched her purse and slapped him hard.
– For what?! I did nothing! The dog found it I was trying to return it!
– I thought you were a nice man. But youre just a liar. And youre making up dogs now, too.
– What do you mean?
– Wheres this supposed dog, then?
Andrew turned but Barney had vanished yet again.
The girl walked off, not looking back. Andrew sat on the bench, rubbing his red cheek, muttering, Some luck, that. Typical
– Barney! he called.
Barney popped straight out of the bushes, sat by his side and gazed up, eyes full of innocent loyalty.
– Thanks, mate. You really stitched me up this time.
Barneys tail gave a tiny wag, as if to say, Anytime.
And so they walked home together
*****
For four nights, Andrew brought Barney to the park at sunrise and sunset, hoping to see her.
He wanted to apologise, to explain. But the mysterious girl never returned.
Barney, on the other hand, was thrilled. His walks tripled in length, and, after that first escape, he never ran off again always close to Andrew.
At last, on Friday evening, Andrews luck turned. He spotted the girl on a bench beneath the oaks.
– Hello
– You again? What do you want?
– Just a chance to explain. Last time was a misunderstanding.
– I dont speak to thieves or liars. Theres nothing to explain.
– Im no thief, Andrew smiled. I didnt steal your purse; I gave it back.
– Gave it back? I had to snatch it off you! Lucky I came when I did otherwise, youd have taken all my cash. Money for my mums medicine, by the way.
– Ive got no need for your money. I earn my own living. I only opened your purse to find your details and give it back. My dog honestly brought it to me.
– Oh, enough, will you? she snapped. Why keep harping on about a dog? Why lie?
– Because Im not lying! Andrew protested, finally losing patience. Look, here he is
He tugged the lead.
No Barney.
Hed done it again slipped away at the crucial moment.
Andrew swore under his breath, preparing to look for him. Dusk was falling; best to find him before dark.
– Sorry, I need to go Andrews heart sank, failing to set things right.
But the girl was glad.
– Dont let me keep you. I truly hope we never meet again.
*****
Andrew didnt find Barney before night fell. Along the empty path, every sound made him jump.
He brooded, Why cant you stay put, you daft dog? Always at the very worst moment
Suddenly, voices echoed close by. One female, two male. The womans voice he recognised immediately the same girl. The mens, he didnt, but their tone was rough.
– Oi, pretty, why dont you keep us company? Well keep you nice and warm, since youre shivering.
– Sorry, Im waiting for a friend.
– Fine, she can join us when she arrives, leered the second man. Cmon over.
– Please, lets not get unpleasant. I could shout, you know, she said, unsure.
– Shout all you want! Wholl hear? Come on, be nice. Or should we come to you?
– Dont come closer! she cried out, frightened.
Andrew decided. He ran toward the voices.
– Whats going on here? Leave her alone! he shouted, hoping his voice was enough bluff. The men were big.
– And who the hell are you? snarled one.
– Im her boyfriend, Andrew blurted. And my dog will be along in a second. He hates strangers, attacks without warning. You see the lead?
The men hesitated. One grinned at the other.
– Hes bluffing, mate.
– Looks it.
They moved forward. Then from the hedges came a menacing growl.
Even Andrews blood chilled; he moved to shield the girl, bracing for a beastly confrontation. The men, however, thought better of it and legged it.
When all was still, Barney bounded onto the path, tail wagging, and sat beside Andrew.
– Lifesaver, you are, Andrew scratched his head. He refastened Barneys collar.
– So this is your dog? the girl asked quietly.
– Yes, this is Barney. Friends dog. He and his wife are on holiday; Im looking after him.
– So you werent lying.
– No, not at all. Barney found your purse, and I was looking for your number, honestly. He justnever seems to be there when I need him.
– Why was he in the bushes tonight?
– Hes clever knows when to lie low. If hed shown up too soon, those men wouldnt have been scared off.
– He is clever. Not mean, is he? Can I stroke him?
– Of course. By the way, Im Andrew. And you are?
– Victoria.
– Lovely to meet you. I do wonder, though, Victoria, what brings you out here so late?
– Waiting for a friend. She said shed be here, but never showed and hasnt answered her phone Looks like Id best head home.
– Not to be pushy, but perhaps Barney and I could walk you back? Just in case.
– Id appreciate that
*****
After that night, Andrew and Victoria walked in the park together every evening. And he always walked her home. Soon enough, Barney went back to Michael and Sally, and the walks felt a bit emptier, a little lonely. They talked, got on well but something was still missing.
One Sunday, as Andrew and Victoria strolled through the park, a small puppy burst from the bushes. In its mouth: a thick, expensive-looking wallet clearly swiped from some businessman.
The puppy scampered to them and hid behind their legs, just as a suited man appeared, flustered.
– Oi, cheeky pup! Give my wallet back! he shouted, throwing his arms about.
They returned the wallet, but Andrew decided to keep the puppy.
Victoria agreed with a smile.
– But lets get one thing clear, Andrew set the little dog on a bench and wagged a finger. No swiping other peoples belongings from now on, deal?
The puppy sniffed Andrews hand and licked him several times in what could only be agreement.
From then on, the three of them strolled together. Before long, they were living together, the three of them and all were happy, for each had what theyd always wanted.
Only
– Oi, you rascal! Give that back! came a cry from behind.
Andrew and Victoria exchanged glances and saw their puppy now named Sherlock, because he was forever getting into scrapes racing towards them, tail high, with a pilfered hot dog in his jaws.
– Shall we run? Andrew smiled at Victoria.
– Lets! she laughed.
Andrew left £5 on the bench to soften the strangers loss. With hands entwined, Andrew, Victoria, and their ragtag Sherlock dashed away, hot dog in tow.
Well, what can you do?
That was their happiness. A little wild, sometimes troublesome, but absolutely, joyously real.
