Dear Diary,
I pulled up in the company car in front of our cottage in the Cotswolds. Exhausted from the drive, I stepped out at a leisurely pace, grabbed my suitcase, thanked the driver and, with a sigh, whispered to myself, The welcome ritual is about to begin.
My wife, Charlotte, floated towards me in a flowing, colourful dress that perfectly echoed the late July sunshine. She always picks her outfits to match the month, and todays ensemble sang in harmony with the blooming summer.
She brushed her hair back from her shoulders, the silky strands falling like a gentle waterfall, quickened her step and gave me a warm smile.
Michael, weve been looking forward to this for ages you wont believe it, Ive found a brilliant landscape designer; everyones lining up for him, but I managed to get a slot for us, she said, eyes bright.
I wanted to ask, How much? but remembered that the welcome ritual required a kiss first, so I obliged.
Charlotte, you look radiant, I murmured, slipping my arms around her slender waist. Ive missed you terribly.
And Ive missed you, she replied, leaning into me, momentarily forgetting the designers schedule.
Is Emma home? I asked, thinking of our neighbour.
Just next door, you know the Darlings daughter, she answered.
So its just us, I said, feeling the longing grow. I hurried to the shower, then led her to the bedroom.
Michael, I also discovered a boutique. Ive already picked something for you a dress so stunning itll knock your socks off, she gushed.
Would you mind skipping the dress? I teased, pulling her closer. You could even go without anything on; I love you just as you are.
She sighed, Ive put effort into my wardrobe, and you dont even glance at it.
Ill look later, I replied, dressing. I hope well have something to eat without having to dash out to a restaurant.
Of course, weve been waiting for you. Mrs. Andrews has prepared everything, she said, referring to the housekeeper.
Ah, Mrs. Andrews, the everefficient housemaid, I muttered.
Im the one who brings the right people to spruce up our estate, so it can rival the Darlings, isnt that right? Its my credit that we have new furniture.
Our old furniture hasnt even had a chance to age, I replied.
What about the curtains? Charlotte continued. Look at how they complement the walls.
Darling, I value all of that, and rest assured I never hold back on the finances, I said, trying not to offend.
Michael, Ive got an appointment at the salon! she blurted, her face suddenly anxious.
Why the rush? I asked.
You dont understand, its a toptier salon. I booked it a month ago and I cant be late. Dont worry, dear, Emma will be here soon she asked if I could take her along.
Take her where? I asked.
To the salon.
Is it too early for her to be in salons?
Let her get used to looking good and learning how to care for herself.
Shell grow up; boys will chase after her, I grumbled.
Exactly, but it requires the utmost finesse, she replied, flipping her light hair with a swift motion.
I ate my dinner alone. Soon after, Emma burst in, clinging to me as the welcome ritual continued.
Dad! she squealed. Wheres Mum?
Didnt she tell you about the salon? I answered.
Oh, she left! I asked to be taken with herI need a manicure.
Emma, your nails are perfect, I praised.
Dad, youre joking, thats not fashionable now
Im sure you did your polish three days ago, but a new trend has swooped in and you felt the urge to change the colour, I laughed.
Seriously, Dad
I was reading a book on the way in the gaps between meetings, I said.
Do you ever find time? You work all the time
On the road, in the breaks perhaps you should read something too, I suggested.
Yes, I read every day, different things, she replied.
I get itfashion, makeup, all that fluff
Dad, Im just a girl
Girl, girl alright, come here, I whispered, planting a kiss on her forehead. I love you anyway.
Later that evening Charlotte returned, twirling as she entered, eager to show me her new look. What do you think?
I tried to gauge the change, answering safely, Brilliant! Youre absolutely enchanting.
By nightfall I was spent, even though Id only been home a day.
Michael, I forgot to tell youMarion Thompson called, worried about you
Oh, Aunt Marion Ill ring her tomorrow, I said.
Are you going to see her?
Why going? Well all go together.
Youre joking? Whats there to do in that village?
Its not a village, its a market town. About a fourhour drive.
I see no difference, I muttered, already nodding off. Its a shame Ill have to travel alone.
I never liked long visits, but I couldnt ignore Aunt Marion; she was practically a second mother, having looked after me for nearly a decade.
I set off in my car, rolled down the windows and let the headwind ruffle my hair, feeling lighthearted.
Auntie Marion! You actually made it to me? she exclaimed, her seventyyearold smile warm and inviting, the kind that makes small talk effortless. No need for any grand ritual here.
Auntie Marion, Im sorry I havent visited in a year. You know how it is, always on the road.
You rascal, she teased, tugging my hair affectionatelyshes a head shorter than me, after all.
Sit down, Michael, Ill feed you, she said, offering me a plate.
I felt like a child again, being fed by a caring aunt. The table filled with simple, homecooked fare.
Michael, Im no chef, unlike you city folk. You probably dine out all the time, dont you? she asked.
Emma and Charlotte love restaurants, but I prefer homecooked meals. I dont enjoy watching chefs at work. By the way, Ill bring you a little souvenir, I replied.
Dont bother, Ive got everything, she said.
Sorry, Auntie, but youre the kind of person I love to spoil.
She settled opposite me, chin propped on her hand, watching me with pride. Youve done well for yourselfgood education, a solid career, responsible.
I see you, dear, she sighed, still travelling all over the country. How long can you keep roaming?
Im mostly in the north, up in Yorkshire.
It must be cold up there.
I laughed. Its hot here now.
And how many times do you actually stay at home? Come, go, return.
After a hearty meal, I took her hand, leaned in and kissed her soft, plump fingers. Thank you, Aunt Marion.
I always called her Auntieno one else did.
Would you like some redcurrant squash? she offered.
Of course, your squash is like a revitalising draught, it wipes fatigue away.
She sighed, I worry, Michael. Youre a family man, yet youre rarely home it must be hard.
I savoured the drink. Hard? On the contrary, its easier the farther I am from my wife. Distance gives me peace.
She shivered. What are you saying? Why stay away?
I tried to calm her. Dont be alarmed, Auntie. Ive never tasted squash like yours before.
Its because its made from the berries in my garden she began, then paused. So why stay away?
If I stayed closer, Id have strangled her long ago, I said with a wry grin.
Who? she asked, bewildered.
From sunrise to sunset, and even at night, the conversation never ends: which salon, which boutique, which colour, which stylist, which makeup, what the Darlings think every single day. So I prefer the distance. I come, I spend a bit, I give money, I leave again. It works for me.
What about Emma? she pressed.
Its a carbon copy of Charlotte. Same interests. Three years ago I gave her a home library, picked the books myself, checked the reviews now they sit unread. I prefer paper, but ebooks are handy on the road. I tried to get Emma and Charlotte interestedpointless. Theyll spend hours on their phones hunting the latest nail artist and gossiping.
I didnt know, Auntie Marion said, surprised. Im always for family, but in that case
No, no, I waved my hand. Im happy as I am. I chose my wife. I wanted beauty and I got it. The best part is that I love her. I tolerate all the fuss about interiors, guests, salons, because I love her.
What about little Emma? she asked.
Shell be just fine. Shes as pretty as her mother. Shell learn to present herself well, marry a good manmaybe someone like meand be set for life.
So youll be off again soon?
Yes, only for a month, maybe two weeks. It wont affect anything. Work is my rest.
When evening came I gathered my things, hugged Auntie Marion, slipped a few pounds onto the table, and left a jar of my own redcurrant jam as a parting gift. I kissed her hand once more and drove away.
Aunt Marion is the only person Ive ever confided in about how I love my business trips; everything in my life suits me, just like my wife Charlotte. Im convinced that this is how life sometimes works.
Lesson learned: the distance that seems to separate us can sometimes be the very space that holds a marriage together.
