I never truly loved my wife, and I made that clear to her many times. It wasnt her faultwe actually had a decent life together.
She never made a fuss about anything, never threw accusations or complaints my wayshe was always kind and thoughtful. Still, there was this looming issue: love simply wasnt there.
Every morning, Id wake up wishing I could just leave. I kept dreaming of finding a woman I could genuinely love. But I never imagined that fate would turn everything upside down.
With Emily, I always felt at ease. Not only did she run the house in a way that would leave anyone impressed, but she looked splendid too. My mates envied methey genuinely couldnt figure out how Id struck so lucky with my wife.
I honestly didnt know what Id done to deserve her love. Im an ordinary chap, nothing to set me apart from anyone else. And still, she loved me How on earth was that possible?
Her affection and loyalty drove me mad. The thought that, if I left, someone else would take my place gnawed at mea man with deeper pockets, better looks, more success.
Whenever I pictured her with another bloke, I felt like I was going out of my mind. She was mine, even if Id never truly loved her. That feeling of possession was stronger than any logic. But can you really spend your whole life with someone you dont love? I thought I could, but I was wrong.
Ill tell her everything tomorrow, I decided as I went to bed. In the morning, over breakfast, I summoned up my courage.
Emily, sit down for a second. I need to talk to you.
Of course, love. Im listening.
Imagine, just for a moment, that we got divorced. We split up, live separately
Emily laughed, surprised, What on earth are you on about? Is this some sort of game?
Just hear me out. Im serious.
Alright. Im imagining it. And then?
Tell me honestly: if I left, would you find someone else?
James, whats going on? Why are you talking about leaving?
Because I dont love you, and I never did.
What? That must be a jokeI dont understand.
I want to go, but I cant. The thought of you with another man is haunting me.
Emily paused, then answered, calm as ever, I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. Go if you mustI wont be with anyone else.
You promise?
Of course, Emily reassured me.
Wait but where would I go?
Youve nowhere to stay?
No, weve spent our whole lives together. I suppose Id have to stay close by, I replied, rather sorrowfully.
Dont worry, Emily said. Once were divorced, well sell the flat and each get a smaller place.
Seriously? I didnt expect youd help me like that. Why would you?
Because I love you. When you love someone, you cant keep them against their will.
A few months passed, and we went through with the divorce. Before long, I discovered Emily hadnt kept her promise. Shed found another man, and the flats she inherited from her grandmothershe had no intention of splitting them. I ended up with nothing.
How can I trust women now? I havent got the faintest idea.
What do you make of James behaviour?
