He Abandoned a Wise Doctor for a Shop Girl from the Alley
When John met Emily and learned all about her accomplishments, as well as the fact she was a certified cardiologist, he realised this was exactly the kind of wife he needed. Admittedly, she wasnt the sort whose picture youd see gracing a glossy magazine, nor did she dress particularly stylishly, and something told him she was quite traditional. But this didnt trouble him much. After all, having a doctor for a wifehow comfortable and sensible! Why not?
Weekdays at home began with Emily orchestrating a strict health regime. In the mornings, John ate wholesome porridge, followed by a fruit snack, then for lunch and dinner, either fish or meat, always with a garnish of vegetables and a modest side. For several hours before bed, he wasnt allowed so much as a biscuitonly a tart pot of yoghurt. Emily insisted that a proper diet is the bedrock of a healthy life. How could John object? A doctor herself had said so.
Each day, shed check how John was feeling, if anything ached, and, noticing even a blush on his cheek, would immediately whip out the thermometer and check for allergies. Emily said that the best thing was to catch any illness earlyso much easier to treat while fresh.
John was proud to be so looked after, attended to with such devotion. But his pride faded. After a few months, he noticed Emilys concern for his health was overflowing. Didnt she have enough patients at her surgery that she needed to play doctor at home with him, every single day?
Then they decided to try for a child. And so began true chaos: Emily marched her husband to endless rounds of tests for every imaginable condition, then checked his genetics. At home she arranged for a urologist to come round, scrutinising whether everything down below was working as intendednow and then grabbing him unexpectedly where he least expected it. Each morning, her first question was, How was your wee? Solid or runny when you went?
Throughout this grand pregnancy campaign, John wasnt allowed a drop of ale or even a cigaretteafter all, they were making a child, and the raw materials had to be top quality. It reached the point he had to excuse himself to the cloakroom just to burp, lest Emily bombard him with questions and forcibly examine his stomach. Emily was even more meticulous with herself: constantly testing her blood, taking her temperature, hoping for the earliest hint of pregnancy.
John couldnt take any morehe divorced her.
What an idiot! What a fool! Fancy leaving a woman like that, eh? Honours degree, clever, a proper intellectual. And he shacked up with some Lucy, a corner shop girl from a backstreet! Fool honestly!they all gossiped, unable to understand.
But yeshed married Lucy, the shop assistant. She could cook a marvellous cabbage stew, let him go fishing, smoked Woodbines at the back door, allowed herself the odd glass of claret, and was known to relish fried bacon. Lucy never asked silly questions and loved John just as he wasthe real John.
