Redhead, Redhead, Freckle-Faced

Ginger, ginger, covered in freckles

Who? Him? Oh, my word, what a ginger marvel! Alice, have you lost your mind? Me, with someone like that? Not a chance!

Eleanor was nearly doubled over with laughter, eyeing the tall ginger-haired lad who was ambling down the hallway. There wasnt anything exactly wrong with himhe had good height, a decent figure, clothes that were perfectly presentable. But something was a bit offperhaps that wild shock of carrot-coloured hair, or the riot of freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks, or maybe just the odd way he held himself. It looked like he could burst out and hug a stranger any second, such a beaming grin lighting up his whole face. People coming the other way would find themselves smiling back involuntarily. A few even greeted him, thinking for a second they must know him from somewhere. As they watched, the Professorthe one taking their examwalked by, making Eleanor suddenly tense. She wasnt prepared at all; Alice had to ask her what the point was of even turning up. Better to skip the exam than get a solid fail.

The ginger guys grin somehow got even widerimpossible, reallyand he started chatting with the professor. Eleanor staredwas the professor actually smiling back? She turned to her friend.

Do they know each other or something?

How should I know? I barely know him myself. He only came up to me yesterday to ask all about you.

Eleanor gave her a side-eye.

And you just jumped at the chance, eh? Couldnt stand the competition?

Alice looked her up and down, snorted.

Honestly, Eleanor, youre no competition for me. Sorry.

Oh, why not?

Takes more than a pretty face, you know. Youre all style, no substance.

You saying Im shallow?

At the momentyes. What have you got? No hobbies, no real opinion, no friends. (Present company excluded.) Im just someone you put up with.

Eleanor thought on it for a moment. Fair play, she was right after all, and there was really nothing to be offended aboutnot that Eleanor was easily offended. She always tried to be easy-going, just like Mum said she was. And honestly, it was simpler that wayavoiding all the endless drama. She had no need for lots of friends. She never hid her thoughts, even when it was about the people around her. She made friends easily, but dropped them just as easily too. Alice was the only one whod ever understood the unspoken rules and could give as good as she got, meeting honesty with honesty. Maybe thats why theyd stuck it out so long.

Id say I do have my own opinions, thanks. And as for the rest doesnt bother me. Ive got you.

Alice smirked, then nodded down the corridor.

So, whats your verdict on your new suitor then? Because look, here he comes, full steam ahead.

The ginger guy was already halfway towards them, that huge smile shining out. He was looking right at Eleanor now. She smiled back and headed into the classroom.

Thats your answer? Alice asked, following her in.

I think I made myself clear.

Predictably, Eleanor failed the exam. The Professor looked at her with a pity he didnt really bother to hide.

Did you study anything at all?

If Im honestno. Didnt have the time.

Well, at least youre honest.

With a sigh, he entered her grade into the record book and dismissed her.

In the hallway, Alice snatched the record book from Eleanor and looked at it, eyebrows raised.

A pass! He must be in a good mood.

Perfect! Thats all I need, Eleanor replied, reclaiming her book and rummaging in her handbag. When she glanced up again, ginger was standing right in front of her.

Hello!

Hi Eleanor shot Alice a glare, but her friend just feigned innocence.

Im Andrew. Dont be cross!

Im not crosswith anyone. Who said I was cross?

With your mate. You were giving her death-glares, wasnt her fault. I was waiting for you here. Saw you come in.

Oh, brilliant! So, what do you want from me?

I want to get to know you. Maybe take you out. Marry you. Have a gaggle of kids and grow old together.

Not likely.

Why not?

Just were not a match.

Arent we? Youre beautiful, Im rather charming if I say so myself. Whats the problem?

Opposite ends of the spectrum, sorry. Ive got to go.

Eleanor shoved her bag strap onto her shoulder and gave Alice a nod.

Coming?

Andrew watched them go, that smile never leaving his lips. So what if she brushed him off? Wasnt the first time. And hed had much tougher cases. A bit of determination, couple of tricks, and shed be all his in no time. Whistling, he set off for the exitplenty to do, and he was never one to linger.

The next day, Eleanor received a bunch of roses, then a box of her favourite chocolates, and finallytickets to a concert shed only dreamed of going to. It was sold out ages ago.

Am I being a cliché? Andrew grinned, holding the concert tickets at the door to the lecture hall.

Utterly. Nothing original at all.

I had a feeling youd like a straightforward bloke.

What makes you say that?

Your type. Youre not the sort for a bit of fun. You want something real.

Alice rolled her eyes and slipped past them, off into the corridor. Eleanor stayed, thinking it over.

Thats how it all started. Eleanor saw Andrew, dated him, but the whole thing felt a bit like play-acting. Shed never dream of bringing him home to meet her parents. She could almost hear Dad now:

Ellie, you cant be serious about a bloke like that? Forget it, love, it wont work.

Her mum would probably be in full panic mode, reaching for the Rescue Remedy before the kettle had boiled.

Maybe thats why Eleanor never really poked into Andrews lifewhat he did, what made him tick. She just knew he went to the same university as her, and that was enough. Andrew, on the other hand, found out everything he could in record time. Kissing the little scar between her fingers, hed say,

Well have to keep an extra eye on our kids. Never thought a bike could be so dangerous. Did it hurt?

I dont even remember. What does it matter now? And whats this our kids?

Dont you want children?

Maybe but not for ages! I want to see the world, get a proper job, then think about all that.

Fair enough! Wheres first on the list then?

Mexico!

Eleanor was only half-joking. She had no idea Andrew took every wish terribly seriously.

Got a passport? he asked a few days later.

Why?

For Mexico?

Youre messing about! Eleanor stared. Whered you get that kind of money?

Dont you worry about that. Are you in or out?

Of course she wanted to go! For once, Andrew actually surprised her. She didnt tell her parents, mindjust announced she was off with friends, not them. They huffed but caved eventually.

It was brilliant. Andrew planned every minute, and everything Eleanor wanted to see in Mexico she saw, plus loads more Andrew had lined up. The trip was pure magic. What wasnt magic were the consequences when they got back.

Im pregnant! Eleanor was almost in tears, pacing her room. This was not the plan at all. Andrews grin, now practically scorching, only wound her up more. Why are you grinning like an idiot? Didnt you hear me?

I did! Andrew pulled her in for a hug, not the least bothered by her attempts to wriggle away. This is brilliant, Ellie! Well have a proper family!

What family?! Look at yourself! Who builds a family with someone like you? What am I, going to give birth to a sunflower?

Andrews smile dropped. He stepped back.

Why would you say something like that? Whats wrong with me?

Everything! Eleanor was nearly shouting. Why did I ever go with you? Now what am I supposed to do?

Have the baby.

There was a steel in Andrews voice that made Eleanor falter.

Im not having it, Andrew. Thats my decision, not yours.

Sorry, youre wrong. Thats our decision. Its my child too.

Eleanor flopped into a chair, waving a hand as she started to cry.

Who needs this? Cant you see this will never work?

Why?

I dont love you!

For the first time, she saw Andrews smile vanish properly. It was like a bright light had just been switched off.

Then why? he asked quietly.

You were persistent and it was fun. Better than nothing.

Andrew looked as if hed been jabbed, turning away. After a spell, he found his voice.

Okay, thanks for spelling it out. As for us, Im clear now. But what about the baby? Its alive, Eleanor.

Its not a baby yet! Eleanor lashed out. You are not telling me what to do, got it? Ill decide.

Andrew couldnt believe this was the same girl who, only weeks ago, was laughing in his arms. Something made him say,

What if what if I propose a deal?

Deal?

Yes. You have the baby and I What will it take? Money? A flat? Name it.

Eleanor narrowed her eyes.

And the baby?

Ill take the child, if you dont want it.

He didnt look up, just traced patterns absentmindedly on her mums floral carpet, remembering another carpet that used to hang from the wall at his parents house, not lie on the floor. He remembered being a freckly little boy, listening to Mum and Dads soft voices, with his mums laugh muffled behind her hand so not to wake him. Thered been such warmth in that home

His dad died two years after, Mum would have gone too, had Andrew not refused to leave her side. He took a gap year, worked nights, and thanked his dad every day for persuading him into IT. He cared for his mum in every way, coaxing her slowly out of darkness when the world had gone. It took a year for her to smile again and longer for her to finally start her lifelong dreama dance studio. Ever since seeing flamenco aged nineteen, shed been smitten. Now she learned, then taught.

Who do I dance for now, Andrew? Used to dance for your dadto show him how much I love him.

Whos to say hes not still watching?

And that got Mum back on her feet, and soon she was teaching others. Once she seemed settled, Andrew got back to chasing his own dreams. Within two years he owned a small tech business, wrote his dissertation on the side, expanding his staff and opportunities. The money didnt flow in buckets, but it was enough.

And what he really wantedthat was to live with Eleanor. But turns out, she didnt want that.

Ill do it Eleanor muttered, voice barely a whisper.

Youll have the baby?

Yes. But youll do whatever I say.

Andrew nodded silently, not quite believing what hed just heard. Hed just bought his childs life. How on earth had things come to this?

Turns out, it came to nothing. A week later, Eleanor declared there was no pregnancy after all, and for the first time Andrew regretted ever being raised well. He stopped himself halfway from touching her cheek, spun on his heel, and strode off, not noticing who he passed.

At home, his mum asked nothing, just placed a cup of tea in front of him, sat down, and pulled him into a hug until night fell and the tea was stone cold.

Mum?

Yes, love?

How do you go on? After something like this?

Better than ever.

Sorry?

You heard me. Better than everwalk so fast your soles are smoking. Or do you think this is the only heartbreak youll ever survive? The only person wholl mistreat you? No, therell be more. Were not living in paradise, Andrew, angels havent got wings here. Letting someone break you is the daftest thing you could do. If someones treated you that badly, thank them!

Thank them? For what?

For the lesson, love. Maybe next time, you wont be in such a hurry or get dazzled by looks alone. Youll spend time, get to know them, see if they want you for who you are.

Whod want the likes of me?

The likes of what? Red hair, freckled, bright as day?

Someone who loves you, love.

Andrew let out a shaky sigh and poured out the whole taleabout Eleanor, about how much he cared, the failed baby deal.

Im a monster, Mum. Inside, not out. How could I? What nonsense!

Nonsense is right, Mum marched round the kitchen, then paused. But if you did it only to save a life, I cant say if that was right or not. I dont know what Id have done.

So now what? How do I move on? How do I find my way out?

Dont know Wait, I do! Go work as a clown, love.

A clown? Andrew gaped at her.

Im not joking! Listen, theres a girl in my dance group. Shes a volunteer, works in childrens wards as an entertainer. Her partner just moved away. Maybe if you give light to someone whos got less than you, youll spot a bit of your own again.

For some reason, that sank in. Maybe it was worth a try? He even managed a smilewho better for a clown than a ginger like me?

It turned out to be the best thing hed done in ages. The first time he walked out of the childrens ward, his ears were ringingnot from the noise, but from what hed witnessed. Tiny kids, still laughing, still finding joy. Mums with lips pressed tight, not taking their eyes off their kids, but who smiled with honest relief at someone bringing a spark of happiness.

How do you cope? Andrew asked Olivia, the plump, lively girl whod brought him to the ward.

Peeling off her wig, Olivia shrugged.

Simple. Theyre worse off than me. Whats there for me to complain about? Ill go home, feed the cats, collapse on the sofa with a book, maybe meet mates. Im not waiting on test results, or counting my own kids breaths. Ive got it easy. But if I can make half an hour simple for themget a smile from a child, give a mum a breatherwell, thats worth everything.

Andrew stared in awe. How did you carry the weight of so much pain and not crumble?

Wondering how not to go mad? Olivia smiled, collecting the clown nose and wig. Believe me, its hardest at first. Not everyone can stick it. If I see it gets too much for you, well have to stop. These families need joy, not our drama. You did great today. You honestly love the kidsit shows. Thats what counts.

Andrew understood. After a bit of thought, he chose to stick at it. He and Olivia became a permanent double actalways welcome everywhere children needed a smile.

Over the next couple of years, plenty changed. Andrew graduated, his firm took off, so did his mums studio. Only his love life didnt shape up. By then, Olivia got married, and Andrew happily celebrated as her sons godfather. He now did rounds at hospitals with other volunteers, but everyone in the city still knew Clown Andythe ginger who got kids shrieking and hospital directors bending rules to let him in because he gifted so much of his earnings to help kids get the best treatment.

One day, rushing from work to the hospital, cursing another dragged-out business meeting, he pulled in with his car and nearly flattened a girl darting up the steps.

Do you even look where youre going?!

Andrew gawked at the petite girl on the hospital steps.

Thumbelina!

And now youre calling me names! She huffed, then disappeared up the stairs.

I didnt mean it like that! he called after her, but he wasnt sure she heard. Checking the time, he sped round to grab his gifts for the ward.

The show was nearly over when a little boy in the front row suddenly started coughing and slid from his chair. Andrew scanned for doctors, but that same Thumbelina was already racing over.

What are you waiting for? Help! He needs to go back to bed.

Andrew didnt protest, though technically, volunteers shouldnt touch the patients. Scooping up the boy, he followed the girl to the ward.

Here! she opened the door, nodded to the bed. Lay him here, the doctors coming.

She fussed over the child, oblivious to Andrew watching her. As the nurse and then the doctor entered, Andrew slipped out with one last glance.

So, Andy, set your sights on Lucy, have you?

Who?

Turning, Andrew found Dr. Robinson, the ward manager, smiling knowingly.

Lucy Arsen. Sister of young Michael, the boy you just carried in.

Sister? Andrew replied, feeling a bit thick.

Yep. Shes only just turned eighteen. Michaels just about six.

How come shes looking after him?

Wondering where their parents are? Gone, both of them. Car crash about a month back, bringing Michael here for tests. Lucy fought tooth and nail to keep her brother at homeher dad was a solicitor, she worked every angle, and in the end, she managed. She knew Michael wouldnt last long in care. Satisfied?

I am.

Now, entertain me. Whats your charity fund like at the moment, Andy? You know the drillMichael needs an urgent op. We can do the surgery, but afterward, the rehab

I know. Its covered. Just one thingLucy mustnt find out.

Fine by me. You dont want her to know youre paying?

No, I dont.

Makes me respect you even more, Dr. Robinson grinned. Shes a handful, but youll manage.

Andrew did manage. Lucy wouldnt even look his way at first, not because she didnt like him, but because, to her, her brother mattered above all else. Andrew clocked that from day onemade himself useful, stayed close. Quiet, reliable. Hed catch Lucy giving him puzzled looks.

Why are you doing all this?

Lets just say, making up for past mistakes. I need this more than you do. Please dont stop me from helping.

Okay Lucy honestly had no idea what to make of him.

Soon enough, she grew used to having Andrew arounda bit rumpled and full of smiles, but always dependable. When Michael finally came home and she realised the worst was over, she went a bit shaky.

Whats up? Andrew sat, warming his hands on a cup of tea in Lucys tiny kitchen. Outside, it was snowing hardhe wondered how long itd take to get home in traffic, but couldnt bring himself to leave. Lucy wasnt hurrying him out, either. She moved about the kitchen, starting dinner, then suddenly slumped onto a stool and looked at him, wide-eyed. Andrew reached over and turned off the hob.

Andy, will we be alone from now on?

What makes you think that?

After a pause, Lucy reached for Andrews hand.

Dont get the wrong idea! she blurted. Its not that I just want you round to help us. Id hate you to think that I just

She trailed off, hands trembling.

What is it, Lucy?

I just cant do without you anymore.

Lucy met his eye then, and suddenly, Andrew understood everything his mum had ever told him.

I need you. Not for Michael. For me.

I love you too! he pulled her into a hug.

The wedding was a joy. Andrews mum danced with Michael all night, insisting he call her Granny.

Ive always wanted a grandson just like you! Can I spoil you rotten and love you forever?