Once Upon a Time in the English Countryside

Once in the Village

But what if he doesnt come back? Mary Thompson dabbed tears from her cheeks and looked at the village bobby. My Charlie would never just wander off. You men are always thinking about that kind of nonsense, but hes not like that at all. Not my Charlie.

Not a man, is he? PC David smiled, half-joking.

*****

Glancing at his wristwatch, David let out a relieved sighthe workday was finally over, and he could head home with a clear conscience.

He stepped out of the police station, locked the door, and headed towards his car. He didnt even make it halfway across the street when
Help! A womans piercing cry rang out behind him. David spun around on his heel.

Mary Thompson was hurtling down the lane toward him, tripping every other step, waving her arms. It was clear something was wrong and, judging by her urgency, serious at that.

Hopefully no ones been murdered David thought, anxiety creeping in as he started toward her.

To be fair, David was new to the village beat, only coming around three or four times a week to check in with the locals.

Today was one of those dayshis so-called drop-in day, as he nicknamed it.

The station door had barely shut all afternoon; people came in a steady stream. Old Mr. Stephen Brown was first, dropping in to complain about his neighbour, who apparently collected firewood from the woods.

I actually buy mine, and he just goes out and helps himself! Free of charge! Thats hardly right, is it? I demand justice! Mr. Brown thumped the desk, full of righteous indignation.

Well look into it, Mr. Brown, I promise, David nodded, scribbling in his notepad.

It better be by the book! Hes robbing the system while Im paying good money!

Of course. If hes actually breaking any laws, well take action, smiled David.

This sort of grumbling happened all the time. Every time, it turned out the neighbour wasnt breaking any rules; the wood he gathered was just driftwood and fallen branches.

The man was just helping clear out the woods, but for Mr. Brown, it stung that he had to pay for his fuel while his neighbour got it for free.

Next up came Mrs. Patricia Green, an elderly lady with complaints about her forty-year-old son, Alec, whod once again drunk through all his cash and was pressuring her for her pension.

You must speak to him, Constable Jones! I cant bear it any longer, she pleaded, close to tears.

David took down the details, assured her that things didnt work so simply when it came to community service, but promised hed have a word with Alec all the same.

Truth is, these chats rarely changed anything, but it was his jobhad to at least try.

Sometimes hed just listen to folks, sometimes play mediator, and on not-so-rare occasions, had to give someone a good talking-to to put them back on track.

Old George Smith dropped by next, not because he had a problem, but because he needed someone to chat with. And then there was Mrs. Linda Wilson, popping in to ask if David could bring her some radish, cucumber, and tomato seeds from town, so she wouldnt have to make the trip herself.

Even Mike Miller, the ex-security guard, wandered in, asking if there were any job openings at the station. I want to help serve the community! he declared, chin up.

David smiled and told him hed let him know if something came up.

It had been one of those full-on days, and all David could think about was getting home, flopping onto the sofa, and crashing out. If it hadnt been for Mary Thompson bursting in at the last minute, thats exactly what he would have done.

Hello, are you alright? You look like youve seen a ghost David asked as Mary finally caught up and stood near him, trying to get her breath back.

My Charlie’s missing! Thats whats wrong! We need to start searching immediately! she burst out.

David paused. Hed only been on this beat three months, but he was certain Marys husband passed years ago. So whos she on about? Who is this Charlie? he wondered.

Hang on, Mary. Lets slow down. Whos Charlie? Is he a close relative?

No, not a relative! Charlies my cat, my darling boy. Weve been thick as thieves for a year now, and last night, he just vanished, David. Just disappeared! Ive called and called but nothing. What could have happened to him?

David sighed, trying to find a gentle way to say the local bobby wasnt exactly on call for missing cats.

Maybe Maybe someone stole my Charlie! Hes such a handsome boy! Mary rambled on. You should, you knowwhat do they call it on telly? You should declare that Operation whats it called? Oh, I know! Operation Intercept. Ive seen it on the television!

Right. Maybe next Ill call in the riot squad, too, David thought wryly. Out loud, he said,

Mary, maybe you shouldnt panic. Cats do wanderits spring, after all. Hell probably stroll back in a week, good as new

But what if he doesnt? Mary sniffled, wiping her eyes. Hes not the sort to just go roaming. Thats you men for you, always thinking about that, but not my Charlie.

Not a man then, is he? David grinned.

What do you mean? Of course hes a man! Hes got plenty of character. Its just that when my daughter brought him back from the city, she said hes well, you know, hes been sorted.

I get it, you dont need to spell it out David nodded sympathetically.

Poor cat, he thought.

But he also knew there was no making Mary budge when she got a bee in her bonnet.

Technically, it wasnt the sort of thing the local bobby ought to be doing. But on the other hand she was a lovely ladyalways bringing him tea and scones.

How could he possibly turn her away now? Besides, Mary genuinely adored that cat, and her worry was real. There was just one small hiccup: looking for a missing pet was nothing like a missing person.

With a person, there are clueswhat happened beforehand, ID, an address. You can call round the local hospitals, even send out alerts. Sometimes you find helpful witnesses.

With a cat? Who knows what goes on in their heads?

Best hope was to stick up some missing posters with a photo.

Not that it was likely to help, but you never know, do you? When theres little else, you just try everything.

The bigger question was where to begin. David had never had to deal with a missing pet beforeand they certainly didnt cover it in his police training.

David Jones, are you listening? Mary grabbed his arm, shaking him. I said, what are we going to do? Times tickingI cant just stand around!

Yes, yes, Im just thinking

Theres nothing to think about! Weve got to look for Charlie. Hes been gone a whole day already! What if something awfuls happened? It was freezing last night and what if

She broke off, covering her face, sobbing.

David decided on the spot hed help, even if people teased him for searching for a cat. Didnt matterwhat mattered was finding Charlie.

If he could

Alright, Mary. Lets go to your place. Well start there. You can tell me everything about Charlie on the way. Maybe youve noticed something strange lately?

Alright, of course, she said, settling into the passenger seat of the police car. Ill tell you everything.

*****

With a thoughtful frown, David walked around Marys garden, checked every nook in the house, peeked into the shed.

No sign of the cat.

Hes never done this before, you know, Mary fretted. There were other toms out all last March, but not my Charlie. Dyou know why?

Whys that?

My daughter said he isnt interested anymorehes had the, you know, the snip.

I know exactly what hes missing, David said quickly.

Right, that. She squeezed Davids hand. So he wouldnt run off just for that. If he did leave, he mustve been taken. Ive got a bad feelingsomething fishys going on!

David took a deep breath.

The air smelled of late winter snow, a hint of fertiliser and was that a barbecue down the road? Someone was clearly having a knees-up. The scent reminded him how hungry he washe tried not to think of food, but his stomach gave him away.

I put Charlies food out this morningthought hed be back by now. But lookuntouched. See for yourself Mary handed over the bowl of biscuits.

Yes, I can see David stepped back a bit. So, you say your Charlie was sitting up on the fence, looking all sad, lately?

Yes, thats just it. Hed just sit and stare off into the distance, bless him.

Which direction?

Out towards that abandoned house just past the lane, Mary waved her hand.

Whats there?

Not much. The old place has been empty for ten years. The owners moved to London and never came back.

Mary frowned at David.

But Charlie wouldnt have gone there. If he had, hed have come back in the morning. I truly think someone took him.

Well, lets see if the neighbours know anything. Shall we start with those closest?

About time, Mary muttered.

Two hours later, David had to admit defeatno one had seen Charlie, yesterday or today.

Some neighbours didnt even know what he looked like.

What does he look like, then? asked Nora Bridges from down the lane, who wasnt particularly close to Mary.

What do you mean? He looks like a cat! Mary huffed.

No, Mary, what does he *actually* look like? David pressed.

For goodness sake! Just an ordinary catbit chunky, grey with stripes, pale green eyes. Thats what he looks like.

Any pictures?

My daughters got loads. Ill text her and ask her to send one over, Mary smiled.

She always smiled when she talked about her daughter, Sarah, because she was so proud. Sarah worked for a big company in the city, didnt visit often, but sent money and good food for the cat, and rang her mum every day.

Well, every day except yesterday

But Mary hadnt noticed, as she was searching for her cat well into the night, weeping quietly and going out into the garden every five minutes, hoping.

Alright, have her send it to me, David said. Then he turned to Nora: Any of your cats gone missing lately?

My lot? Good heavens, I wish! Six of them, eating me out of house and home. Not one of them goes missing, unfortunately, Nora sighed.

None of the other neighbours were missing any animals. So much for the idea of a feline-napper on the loose.

Well, theres only one place left to check, David said thoughtfully, glancing toward the derelict house.

W-what do you mean? Marys voice trembled as she clutched her chest.

The last option. Come on, follow me, David said, heading up the dirt lane.

*****

Ten minutes later, David and Mary reached the empty house.

Not just abandoned, but falling apart: broken windows, the front door hanging off, and the whole place looking ready to collapse.

Alright Mary, wait here at the gate. Ill have a look around and check inside.

Youll be wasting your time Im telling you, Charlie would never hide out here.

In my experience, even the strangest things have simple explanations.

But whyd he leave good food, a loving home, for this? Mary listened hopefully.

I dont know said David. But we have to check it off the list.

He disappeared inside for about ten minutes. Mary thought she heard shouting, her breath caught in her throat when David finally emerged, something bundled in his coat.

Is it Charlie? she breathed, running up to him.

Kittens.

Kittens? What were they doing here? But what about Charlie? Was he there?

Oh yesand a friend of his, too. Look! David stepped aside, and there was Charlie marching proudly out of the ruined house, followed by a tabby cat and four kittens, all tails raised.

This doesnt make sense Charlies been, you know, sorted. Surely these arent?

Mary, you dont need to say anything. I understand. David smiled kindly.

You do, but I havent got a clue! Do you mean to say these are his kittens?

Honestly, probably not, said David, leading everyone back up the lane. You said yourself, hes been fixed, and the timing doesnt add up. The kittens would have needed at least two months before being born. My guess? Charlie wanted a family, or he just fell hopelessly in love with this mum cat. Maybe hes decided to be a dad anyway. Love at first sight, perhaps. Thats all I can think of.

So hes in love then? Mary gave Charlie a scolding look.

Meeow, Charlie replied.

And you thought you could just run off and not tell me a thingleft me worried sick, that it?

Charlie rubbed against her legs, purring, begging for forgiveness.

Maybe he thought you wouldnt understand his new relationship? David suggested. When I went in, Charlie was curled up with the other cat, keeping her and the kittens warm. He didnt come home not because he was lost, but because he wouldnt leave her. Poor fellow even had a go at me at first, till he realised I came in peace.

Well all right then, Mary wiped a tear away. Drive us home, please, David.

Will you keep the kittens? he asked.

And the mum, too, she grinned. Theres no such thing as too much happiness.

Spot on.

And my Charlie wouldnt fall for just anyonethis means something to him.

*****

When David pulled into Marys drive, a shiny car was already parked by the gate. Sarah, elegant in her work suit, was waiting.

Mum! Is Charlie back? Why arent you picking up your phone? Ive called you like twenty times.

Oh, that battery died, love. Havent had a moment to charge itbeen out searching for Charlie! By the way, Sarah, this is PC David Jones. Hes been helping. It was him I asked you to send Charlies photo to.

I tried, Mum, but you typed his number wrongleft out the last digit!

Sorry, I was in such a rush Wed lost Charlie.

Nice to meet you, Sarah offered her hand to David.

You too.

So, did you find him or not? Sarah asked, a bit lost.

Lets go inside! Mary said. Ill make a pot of tea, fry up some potatoes, bring up the homemade pickles. Oh, and well have a small nip to celebrate!

Celebrate what? Sarah looked bemused.

Come on, love. Ill explain everything inside. David, dont be shycome join us.

Will do. Let me just grab my coat.

*****

Now, instead of one, Marys got herself five catsa real feline family.

Of course, Mary and Sarah both had a million questions for Charlie: why would a neutered tomcat want to play dad to someone elses kittens, and how on earth did he wind up smitten with a stray mum cat?

But honestly, none of that really mattered. What mattered was that everyone was happy.

Charlie and the new mum, the kittensstill nameless and spared a hard life outsideand most of all Mary herself, whose house now bustled with new energy.

She was also delighted that Sarah had finally fallen for a decent blokeand might finally sort her own life out beyond work.

Who knewwedding bells, grandkids, and even more happiness could be just around the corner.

And all thanks to Charlie.

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Once Upon a Time in the English Countryside
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