We pay my mother to look after our grandson. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law resents that were able to do such a thing.
For six months now, my husband and I have been giving my mum some money for taking care of our little boy. All seems perfectly sensible to us, but my mother-in-law simply cannot fathom ithow could one possibly accept money from ones own children for minding a grandchild!
Still, I maintain that every bit of work ought to be properly compensated, especially considering how much my mother does for us.
It all goes back about a year, to a rather awkward time. My husband was made redundant from the job that kept our household afloat, and after a long family chat it was agreedreluctantlythat Id have to take maternity leave. Our son was only one and a half at the time.
Neither of us liked the idea, but with a mortgage and a toddler to care for, we were left with little choice. My salary could hardly keep us from scraping by each month, yet because my husband was looking after our child, he couldnt even go out for interviews. Each month, the threads got tighter.
Eventually, we turned to our parents for help. We asked whether anyone could mind their grandson for just a few months, so that my husband could go job-hunting and we could muster enough for a proper nanny. Frankly, we didnt even have that.
Everyone sympathised, but they were still working and couldnt really help. We spun around like squirrels in a wheel; it never got any easier, and after two months my mother arrived like a lifeboat.
She suggested she could finally retire, asked only that we cover her utility bills, seeing as her pension wouldnt stretch that far anymore. We gratefully took up her offer.
So began a new chapter: Mum popping round each morning, me heading off to work, my husband off to interviews. Within a week, hed landed a new job. The pay wasnt what it once was, but still better than nothing, and he kept an eye out for something better.
At home, Mum ran thingscheerfully so. Not only did she care for her grandson, she found time to do a bit of light cleaning, the ironing, the laundry, even some cooking. That meant I didnt have to race home from work and jump behind the cooker or start attacking the ironing pile. It honestly lifted a weight from my day.
I felt guilty about just how much Mum was doing, but she insisted it kept her busy, made the days pass more quickly. Still, my conscience pinched me.
I discussed it with my husband. He agreed that Mum was solving nearly all of our household worries as well as taking on our boy from morning till evening. We decided, on top of the bills, to pay her a kind of salary. Thanks to her help, I was able to earn a promotion, as I wasnt off sick and could keep my mind on workand my husband began earning more as flexible working let him spend more time at home. Now I could spend proper time with my son each night, not bouncing frantically between pots and pans.
At first, when I told Mum about the pay, she was appalled. She said it felt wrong, and she didnt want to accept it. But we talked her round. We explained how much she did for us, how it let our lives open up, and that the money wasnt charityit was honest pay.
She relented in the end. Now, everythings rosy. My home sparkles, suppers always ready, our sons thriving, and Mum hasnt a money worry in the world.
Only my mother-in-law isnt happy. Mum herself told her that we now pay for her help. I asked why it ever needed mentioning, and Mumrather sheepishlyexplained it just cropped up. Theyd been daydreaming about the seaside, and Mum mentioned she might soon have enough saved for a little trip. My mother-in-law pressed her on how shed managed to squirrel money away, and Mum let it slip.
She immediately rebuked Mum, saying it simply isnt donetaking money from ones own childrenthen came to us with a lecture about how nobody in their family ever helped for cash, it was always out of kindness. My husband just cut her short, asking her when exactly shed last offered help in a pinch.
Things have quieted down since, but every so often my mother-in-law still grumbles about how much Mum is making off us. I almost think shes just sour that things turned out so well for us.
