Draw a Fairy Tale
Mary, my dear! Your father and I have some news!
Mary deftly spooned another mouthful of porridge into little Thomas’s mouth and wiped his chin.
What news?
We’re going to have another baby! I’m in my fourth month already. Isn’t it wonderful, Mary!her mother hugged her eldest daughter around the shoulders.Another child! There will be seven of us! A proper family!
Mary fell silent, her hands limp, forgetting all about her little brother, who, as if sensing something important, remained quiet for once, seriously studying his big sister’s face.
Why so silent?her mother quizzed gently.You don’t look too pleased! Oh, Mary, don’t be so selfish! Don’t upset your mother, darling!Susan kissed her daughter on the crown of her head and left the kitchen.
Ma, ma, ma!babbled Thomas, reaching for his sister.
Mary snapped back to herself and picked up the spoon again.
Happiness… Does it truly exist?
There was only one moment in her life when she remembered being truly happy. She was about five. They had gone to the countryside for fresh air, her mother expecting Simon at the time. There were lots of children at the guest house, but Mary, ever her mother’s shadow, never strayed far. Then her father took her to see the horses, and there it wasthe moment of pure magicher father lifted her onto a horses back. Mary felt as if she soared to the sky. At first she was frightened, but then it was as if shed grown wings. The horse shifted its weight, Mary clung to its mane and, unexpectedly, laughed. To her amazement, the horse answered with a soft whinny. Her parents laughed together:
Dont say you didnt have a conversation!
Mary later pleaded to take riding lessons, but then Simon was born, then little Olivia, and there wasnt money for lessons. It simply wasnt possible.
Mary could never say why that day became her happiest memory. But she filed it away, that day filled with the scent of cut grass, the river, the warmth of the sun and the glow of parental love, retrieving it only when things felt truly overwhelminglike today.
She washed Thomass face, settled him in his playpen, and went to wake Olivia, who needed escorting to nursery. She swayed in the doorway, righted herself, and shook her head. Sleeping two or three hours a night was no way to live. If luck was with her, perhaps shed grab a nap while the little ones were out. And if Simon took pity and helped with the cleaning, she might even find time to revise for tomorrows exam. Last night she studied until late, but when she finally lay down, Olivia woke crying, haunted by nightmares. Mary tried many times to tell her mother that Olivia might need to see someone, but Susan always waved her off:
What nonsense! Shell grow out of it.
So Mary did what little she could for her sistershed bring Olivia to her own bed. Only then would the little one calm down. For Mary herself, the night was over once Olivia pressed close and drifted off, squirming in her sleep. Since Simons birth, Mary had trained herself to sleep lightly, always alert.
The Newmans had four children in all. Maryrecently turned eighteenwas the eldest; Simon, at thirteen, was a handful; little Olivia, barely five; and the baby, Thomas, just one.
Susan and John had been introduced by mutual friends. Anne, Susans friend, once mentioned that her husband knew a fellow who, like Susan, wanted a big family. They met at a birthday party, and before long, they were inseparable. Later Susan told Mary,
Imagine, I was absolutely swept off my feet! I could start a sentence and your father would finish it. Such a meeting of minds!
Within a year they married, moving into Susans grandmothers flat, which she passed down to them when she went to live with Susans aunt and uncle.
Live well, children! Perhaps Ill see my great-grandchildren yet.
She did. Mary adored her great-grandmother, who managed to meet Mary, Simon, and Olivia. Only Thomas arrived after she was gone.
Back when her great-grandma was still alive, and gran and granddad were well enough to help, Marys life was manageable. She was still little when Simon was born, and only felt the strain once shed started school. Ruined schoolbooks, scribbled-over notebooks and lost pencils abounded despite her best efforts to claim a quiet corner of her own. From her mother she only ever heard:
Mary! Dont be selfish!
But she never was. Not then, nor later when the younger ones arrived. In time, it became a mantrawhenever Mary wanted to do something solo, shed think, “Dont be selfish”. To her, family was a place where nothing could truly belong to anyone. Not things, not rooms, not time.
Youre family! And youre my chief helper!her mother would hug her, and Mary would set her own things aside to help with the little ones.
She breathed easiest only when her youngest sister began nursery. Simon was a bit olderMary only checked his homework. It was a good time, despite Olivias frequent illnesses, which often left Mary looking after her. But then her parents announced another baby, and Marys semblance of calm was shattered. Thomas was born premature, with a weighty list of difficulties, though thankfully, with time and good doctors, he made it through. Susan ran between doctors with Thomas; the housework fell to Mary. She understood her lot and bore it, but sometimes, in the evenings, with the last dish loaded in the rack, she longed simply to slip awaysomewhere quiet, to draw or listen to music.
When great-grandma was alive, she took Mary to art school, just for a year. For Mary, the world of colours and imagination was a haven, an escape. But after her great-grandmothers illnessno one could take her. Her mother had to work, and then Simon was born, and there was neither time nor money for such luxuries. Still, Mary managed with basic watercolours and a sketchpad, and it was enough to let her escape into her own world, where she could be a princess, a warrior, or any girl in a story. Her fairies, kings and unicorns were so vivid, her younger siblings would pore over them for hours. Then came stories to go with the drawings. In the evenings Susan neednt check on the childrentheir world was brimming with enchantment. Even the littlest sat in awe, asking,
Draw us a story!
But morning would come, and Marys routine would begin againwashing, feeding, school run, nursery dash. She had accepted her lot, understanding how much her mother needed help. And yet, sometimes, she ached simply to walk the park with friends or catch a film. Her friends had long stopped inviting her, knowing her answer by heart:
I cant. I promised Mum Id help at home.
Only last month had the neurologist finally cleared Thomas, and Mary dared hope that perhaps soon, with Thomas also beginning nursery, she might carve out time for herself.
But it was not to be.
Mary sighed. There was nothing for it now but to keep going.
She fed her sister, helped her dress, and, seeing the time, hurried them both along.
Come along, Olivia! Well be late!
Mary, dont forget to stop at the shop!Susan called after them.
Mary waved in reply, and the day begananother blur. It wasnt until evening she remembered her secret. Shed meant to check her inbox that morning, but time had raced. Now, with dinner simmering on the hob after her exam, Mary shooed a disgruntled Simon from the computer.
Just a minute, alright? Have you done your homework?
Oh, dont start! Just need to finish one level.
If Mum finds out, she’ll finish *you*. Need any help?
Maybe… Algebras a nightmare. Please, just let me finish! Mum wont let me later.
I promise, two minutes!Mary opened her email and, heart pounding, saw the reply shed been waiting for. Terrified of disappointment, she hesitated.
Simon, could you make me some tea? Ill help with your algebra.
Alright!he left, and Mary crossed her fingers for luck and clicked.
A minute later, her shout of joy echoed round the flat, nearly making Simon spill the tea. Mary was hopping in delight, clapping like a child.
I did it! Simon, I really did it!
What did you do?!Simon stared in astonishment. Hed never seen his serious sister like this.
Mary kissed his nose, snatched the mug, and declared:
Ill explain later. Bring your algebra, or youll run out of time!
Simon, forgetting her odd behaviour, fetched his textbook.
Mary tried to absorb what shed just read. An email from the publishers office, to whom shed submitted her stories and illustrations. Shed spent over two years preparing, wondering if her tales, so loved by her siblings, might bring delight to other children. If so, perhaps her passion could become something more.
And now, she was invited for an interview. If only she could persuade her parentsand find the money for the fare. There was never any to spare in their household.
Mary! I dont know. Whod want your drawings? There are so many professionals already!
But Mum, if they invited me, surely theres something there?
Maybe. But we just cant pay for travel and accommodation. Thomas has another round of treatment soon, and that’s more important, love. And Ill need the money for tests and appointments We dont want another scare.
Marys heart sank. Her mother was right, of course.
Ill try to earn it myself. Sylvia said the café where she works needs waitresses.
And who will look after the house? I cant manage alone! No, Mary, thats final!
Susan left to bathe Thomas, and Mary, burying herself in her textbook, wiped away tears before the younger ones could see. But Olivia was not fooled. She climbed onto Marys lap and hugged her.
Dont cry!
Mary squeezed her close.
I wont.
Why was she snivelling anyway? She needed a solution. She’d been given a month to turn up for the interviewshed work out both the money and how to make things work at home.
She kissed Olivia and set her down.
Go see if Mums done bathing Thomas. Then its your turn. How on earth did you get paint behind your ears?
Painting, of course!
Good for you!Mary laughed.
While Olivia scampered away, Mary rang Sylvia.
Sylvany day shifts going at the café?
Yes, but what about your studies?
Its exam season, then holidays. I can work afternoons.
Ill see if you can cover for meactually, it’s perfect timing. But I cant promise.
Thank you!
Sylvia managed to convince the manager. For three weeks, Mary covered her shifts. Not a fortune, but enoughif she was carefulto cover the trip.
That evening Mary brought it up again with her parents.
Ive saved a little. Enough, I think. Mum, Dad, please let me go. I have to try.
Mary! Not this again!Susan banged down her teacup.Its foolish! There are proper artists out there.
Its not just the pictures, Mum. Its the stories too.
It doesn’t matter! People study for years, work so hardand you expect to match them? And what if you fail? It might put you off forever.
At least let me try…Marys voice grew quiet.
Thats enough!John, whod been silent, finally spoke up.Marys right!
What?!Susan stared at him in disbelief. They rarely contradicted one another.
Let her go! Its better to try and stumble than spend your life wondering ‘what if?’ We cant give much, but we do have a little put away for a holiday.
But Dad! We saved for two years for the seasideMary burst into tears.
But we wont manage this year anyway; you need it more now. Right, Susan?
Susan could only nod.
Thank you!Mary hugged them both and left the kitchen.
John
What?
Weve turned her into free labour!
What are you saying?
Exactly what I think. Nanny, cleaner, tutorshes everything. Arent I right?
Youre probably right But were a family; we ought to help each other.
Exactly. She helped us all these years. Its our turn.
Maybe youre right Am I a terrible mother?
Nonsense! Look at our kidsso kind and bright. We cant be that bad.
Two days later, the whole family saw Mary off at the station.
Ring often!Susan hugged Mary.And good luck, darling! Make us proud!
A week later, Mary returned home, feeling she could face anything now. Perhaps it would only be a slim little book, with just a couple of stories, but it would be her first. Of that, Mary was now certain.
Whos home?She opened the front door and stepped inside.
Like a whirlwind, Olivia dashed out of the childrens room and leapt into her arms.
Hurray! Youre back! And were going to have a baby girl!
Mary took a moment to understand. Then she hugged her little sister.
Thats wonderful! Youre going to be a big sister now!
Wow!Olivias eyes went round.Ill have to be brave then, just in case shes frightened too!
She wont beyoull look after her!
I will!Olivia clenched her little fists.
Thats my girl!Mary affectionately patted her on the head.Wheres everyone?
Theyve got a surprise for you. Come see!
Olivia took her hand and led her to the childrens room.
Look!
Mary stood at the threshold, momentarily speechless. It was the largest room in their flat, but it was utterly changed. The mismatched beds were gone, and a partition had appeared. Mary moved around it and couldnt believe what she saw.
Well, what do you think, love? Like it?Susan hugged her.Now youve got your own spot. See, you just slide these panels over andvoilàa private room. We hoped to finish before you got back.
Mum! Its amazing! Thank you!Mary embraced her mother.
We thought youd need a place to work, away from the little ones. Im sorry
For what?Mary stared, surprised.
I was wrong, Mary. Youve done so much for me all these years. Helped constantly, and when you needed me, I only thought about myself One persons happiness shouldnt come at anothers cost.
Dont, Mum. If there werent so many of us, whod I tell my stories to? Whod be in them? It all worked out in the end.
Mum, Mary, come quick! Tea and cake are ready!Simon tugged his sisters hand.
That evening, Mary realised shed banked another happy day in her memory. She didnt say it aloud, but shed decided nowshed move to London one day. Not immediately, of courseshe wouldnt abandon her studies, and her mother would need her help when the baby was born. But it was time to live her own life, help in different ways.
Five years later, in the childrens room, Olivia was stroking little Kates head as she drifted off to sleep. Thomas was already asleep on the other side. The colourful book on Olivias lap was the childrens favourite, and how could it not be? It was written and illustrated by their beloved Maryeven if she now lived far away, she visited whenever she could. Then, just like old times, Olivia would cuddle close to her sister and whisper,
Can I still be little?
Olivia read the final line and shut the book.
Its not easy being a princess, is it, Kate? Waiting for someone to come and rescue you. At least in Marys stories, things are different. Her princess fights her own dragons and saves kingdoms herself. Isnt that better?
Mmm.Kate nodded, sleepily.
Your big sister will never steer you wrong! Off to sleep, nownursery in the morning! And at the weekend, if were lucky, Mary might bring a new book. Then well find out if this princess finds her prince.
Olivia smiled quietly to herself. Of course she will, and soon enough, thered be a little prince as well. And Olivia would be an aunty, as well as a big sister.
She tucked Kate in, moved Thomass toy car off his pillow so he wouldnt roll onto it in the night, and turned on the nightlight, pausing a moment before Marys wedding photo on the wall. In the silvery glow, Mary in her gown looked every inch a true storybook princess.
Not a princessa queen!Olivia said softly, tracing the glass, before climbing into bed. Tomorrow would be another busy day. Shed have to make sure Kate wasnt late for nursery.
