“Alright, love, I’ve got to dashmy mates are waiting! No time to spare! See you later!”
With those words, more than just evening plans came crashing down. Emma’s heart sank. Yesterday, she’d been slaving over the stove, and today she’d rushed home after a gruelling day, full of hopeonly for this? A rushed dinner and a guilty peck on the cheek?
“What do you mean, ‘dash’? James, its my birthday!” she reminded him.
James was already lacing up his trainers but paused, bewildered. He genuinely seemed not to grasp the issue.
“We already had dinner, didnt we?” He gestured at their plates. “Ate, had wine. That fancy hair straightener you wanted? Birthday sorted. Its Tuesday, for Gods sake. Well do a proper do on Saturday when the lads come round.”
“But I wanted tonight, just us!” Emma shot back, the loneliness creeping in.
He sighed, shrugging.
“Come on, love, whats the fuss? Its just the boys. Weve got a match planned.”
His words stung. They were waitingbut hadnt she been waiting too? One evening a year, just the two of themwas that really too much to ask?
“Sod off, James,” she muttered, turning away. “But know thisit mattered to me. A lot. Were like flatmates at this point.”
He shrugged again, carefree as if discussing what telly show to watch. But this wasnt just about her birthday. It was everything. Lately, shed never felt more alone.
This had started long ago. If she was honest, shed got exactly what shed signed up for. Shed chosen James because he was fun, easygoing. But what worked on dates didnt always work in marriage.
When they first met, he dragged her to board game nights, not rowdy bars. No drunken chaos, just polite, witty company. Emma had grown up with a father who drank himself into oblivion and a mother who never stopped complaining. With James, shed finally felt safelike the world could be calm. Shed missed out on childhood, and with him, shed tried to reclaim it.
When he proposed, she was over the moon. He seemed reliablecheerful, sharp, financially stable. His inheritance meant he only worked part-time, remotely, no commute. The first weeks were a dream. He whisked her offCornwall, Brighton, late-night talks under the stars. She felt like a queen.
But reality hit hard. The minute they got home, the fairytale ended. That very evening, he vanished, leaving her to unpack and cook.
“The ladsll kill me if I dont show,” hed said. “Just popping round, show em the holiday pics.”
Shed brushed it off then. Strong friendships were good, right? But it kept happening. Again and again, she was left alone with the illusion of a marriage.
The last few months flashed through her mind.
Emma dragged herself home each day, exhaustednine-hour shifts, traffic, the endless race to keep up. Meanwhile, James was glued to his gaming chair, headphones on, laughing loudly. A dirty plate and empty fizzy drink cans littered the desk.
“James, take the bins out, please,” shed murmur, clearing up.
“Right, right, darling! Just finishing this round with the boys, then Ill sort it,” hed promise.
“Right” stretched into hours. Eventually, shed haul the bags out herself. Because she needed to cook. Because the smell bothered her.
It was always like this.
He stayed up till dawn, shouting into his headset while she tried to sleep. They lived side by side, not togetherlike siblings in separate worlds.
Shed tried talking to him.
“What more do you want? Im home most of the day. I cant be glued to you,” hed say, baffled.
She just wanted his attention. Basic, human attention.
Eventually, she confided in her friends. Sophie, ever the optimist, urged patience.
“Count your blessingshe brings in money and doesnt stray. My Daves off on some construction job up north, I see him once a month. Youve got it made!”
But Lucy was blunt.
“Ive been there. Youre lonely with him. Youre just his cook and cleaner. The boys not done playingwhat does he know about family? Have a kid, and youll never see him. His mates are more fun than a screaming baby.”
Those words stuck. Emma wavered. Maybe Sophie was rightJames was decent, didnt drink, paid the bills. Maybe she should endure it?
But now, sitting alone on her birthday, staring at untouched salads and wine, she knewshe didnt want Sophies life. She didnt want scraps. She didnt want to dread her own husband.
The roast veg and meat had gone cold. Shed shopped, cooked, left work earlyfor what? Five minutes of his time before he shrugged on his jacket and left. Again.
She couldnt take it. Not today. She called a cab and went to her mums. Margaret had lived alone for years. She hugged Emma tight, took one look at her red-rimmed eyes, and understood.
“Sod him,” she said. “Well celebrate. Fancy a takeaway?”
That night, Emma remembered what family felt likeflawed, but real. They talked for hours. Emma stumbled over her words, sometimes silent, but her mum just listened. James hadnt listened in ages.
When he rang at midnight, she ignored it. She only answered in the morning.
“Where were you all night?”
“At Mums. Celebrating with someone who cares.”
“Emma, come off it. Come home. I didnt do anything wrong.”
“Exactly. You did nothing. Youre just absent.”
“Bloody hell! We had dinner, didnt we?”
“Oh yes. Five whole minutes before you bolted.”
“Emma, for Gods sakeIm not cheating! Dont make a mountain out of a molehill.”
“You know what? Id almost prefer if you were. At least then Id know what Im fighting. But this? Your real familys your mates. Im just background noise.”
Silence. James had no answer. Or didnt want to give one.
“James,” she said quietly, “I didnt want this, but choose. Them or me.”
“Ultimatums now, eh?” he grumbled. “You know I love you. But I wont ditch my mates”
Emma exhaled, shaking her head. Suddenly, everything was clear.
“Then enjoy your life with them.”
She hung up and went for breakfast. Her mum had made her favourite pancakes. Emma cried into them at firstbut then, strangely, she felt lighter. Painful, yes, but finally free.
She went back only for her things. James barely looked up from his screen as she packed. Just muted his mic.
He stayed in his worldgames, lads, eternal boyhood. She walked away into hersone where love wasnt an afterthought. Hed chosen never to grow up. And that meant they were never really meant to be.
