I’ve Always Dreamed of Being in My Brother’s Shoes, But Everything Soon Took a Turn

I have always imagined myself in my brothers shoes, but everything changed quickly.
My mother became pregnant with me when she was eighteen. As soon as my father heard the news, he left ushe wanted endless parties and friends, not a family. My mothers parents, my grandparents, were outraged. In a small town near Lille, having a child out of wedlock was seen as a disgrace, and my grandfather drove my mother out, shouting, I never want to see such an irresponsible girl again! I cant even picture what she enduredso young, alone, a baby in her arms. Yet she persevered: she enrolled in a correspondence university, found work, and gave everything she had. She was assigned a room in a shelter, and the two of us began our life together. I had to mature faster than other kidsI did the shopping, the cleaning, reheated meals. Playtime? There was none. From a very early age, I became her pillar, her only man.
I never complainedI was proud of it. Then Victor entered our lives. I liked him; he brought chocolates, made my mother happy, looked after her. She glowed when he was around, and one day she told me, Victor and I are getting married and well move into a big house. I was thrilledI dreamed of having a real father and hoped Victor would fill that role. At first everything was wonderful. I finally had my own space to rest, listen to music, read books. Victor helped Mom, his eyes shining with joy.
Soon after, Mom announced she was pregnant. Shortly thereafter Victor said, Youll have to move into the little attic room. That will be the babys nursery. I didnt understandour house was large, why me? The next day my belongings were packed into a tiny corner that could fit only a single bed. It felt unfair, but I kept quiet, accustomed to bearing hardship.
When my little brother Michel was born, the nightmare began. His cries robbed me of sleep; I stumbled around like a zombie. My school grades fell, teachers scolded me, and Mom shouted, You must be a role model for your brother! Stop bringing shame on us, lazy one! As Michel grew, new duties were placed on metaking him to the park, pushing his stroller. The other kids teased me, I blushed with embarrassment, yet I stayed silent. Everything nicetoys, clotheswent to Michel. When I asked for something for myself, Victor snapped, No money. I dropped Michel at daycare, fetched him, cooked, cleaned the houseI lived waiting for him to grow up so I could finally be free.
When Michel started school, Mom ordered me to help with his homework. He was spoiled and capricioushe did poorly, and whenever I tried to correct him, he complained to Mom. She always defended him, and I was reprimanded: Youre the eldest; you must be more patient! He bounced from school to school, failing everywhere. In the end, he was placed in a private school where bad grades were overlooked for a fee. I pursued a mechanic trainingnot by choice, but to escape home.
After that came distance learning and workI toiled day and night, saving for my own place. I married, found peace. And Michel? Victor gave him an apartment, yet he still lives with our parents, rents the place, and squanders money. He refuses to work, spends hours glued to the TV. One New Years gathering at my parents house, his latest girlfriend Léa was present. I overheard their conversation in the kitchen.
Youre lucky with your brother, she told my wife, Marie. Stanislas is a real hardworker, responsible. Why isnt Michel like that? I ask him to live together, start a family, but he clings to his mother. The rent money does us no good.
Yes, Stan is wonderful, Marie replied with a smile. Forget Michel; he doesnt deserve you. Hell never make a good husband.
I stood frozen. Michel switched girlfriends as often as shirts, but none stayedMom drove them all away, deeming them unfit for her golden boy. He never resisted, living in his laziness like in a cocoon. Then I realized I no longer envied him. All those dreams of being in his place were empty wind. Fate gave me trials, but also rewards. I have a family, a loving wife, a daughter, a home I built with my own hands. I am proud of myself, and for the first time I celebrate not being Michel. My life is my hardwon, authentic victory.