The Improper Widow
John Peterson was heading home from work, steering his car and brooding over how utterly tired he was of travelling each day to that dreary office. Truth be told, the job wasnt outright terrible, and the duties were manageable, but hed simply grown so weary of it all, more bitter than unripe sloes.
Its all because theyve raised the pension age, John mused gloomily, Otherwise, Id have been enjoying my well-earned retirement these past three months.
That day, hed barely managed to make it through to the end of his shift. But he wasnt going straight home. Instead, he was on his way to see his sister. Linda had asked him to help put together a wardrobe, and John couldnt bring himself to refuse her.
A pang of sadness struck him as he thought about how much Linda had gone through these last couple of years. First, shed had to bury her husband. Tom was a grand fellowbless his soulfit and seemingly healthy, but his heart had failed him suddenly. Then, Linda was dismissed from her job, and not in the kindest manner. Theyd simply rustled up some fabricated form about her position no longer suiting her, when in truth, theyd just found a younger replacement.
Still, Linda was a tough old bird. She found herself another position, even if the pay wasnt as good. But clearly, it was enough for a livingafter all, she was buying new furniture. She still mourned Tom dearly, and now wardrobes had to be built by her brotherfamily had to step up after all.
When John arrived, Linda immediately insisted he sit at the table. After all, you cant think straight, let alone put together a wardrobe, on an empty stomach.
Dont mind the scrambled eggs, John, Linda explained, I live alone now and barely cook for myself. The children rarely visit.
Used to be youd lay on a spread in Toms daynever wanted for a good dinner or tea. And those cakes you baked! They were something else, John replied, shovelling food energetically onto his fork.
I can hardly remember the last time I handled pastry, Linda said with a wave, If Im lucky, I get soup at the canteen at work. Usually, its just sandwiches for me.
Thats just it, John declared wisely, If you had a man in the house, youd have good reason to cook, and eat fresh and tasty.
What are you getting at? Linda asked suspiciously.
Well, Lin, its been two years since you buried Tom, John said, Maybe its time you thought about yourself. Why dont you marry again?
Oh, dont be daft! Who would want an old duck like me? Linda exclaimed. You men can carry on marrying into old age, but a womans shelf life is ridiculously short.
Theres some truth in that, John acknowledged with a smug grin, Right then, thanks for dinner. Wheres this wardrobe of yours?
Dont try and change the subject! Linda laughed. While were at it, answer me thiswhy dont you remarry? Its ten years since you and Natalie split, and youre still by yourself.
John said nothing. Right after his divorce with Natalie, hed sworn never to darken the doors of the registry office again. But over time, he missed a hot broth, fresh meatballs, and proper bedlinen. Of course, he managed his own laundry and housework but it was a struggle. Domesticities werent really his strong suit, after all.
And that wretched office! He had no time at all for his own affairs. If only he had a lovely wifesomeone sprightly and cheerful to please the eye, who cooked a delicious roast and kept fresh linens on. John wouldnt object to living with such a kind female spirit, that much was certain.
So what are you waiting for, if youre not opposed? Linda teased. We arent getting any younger, and happiness is for everyone. If I cant find it, perhaps you should make your go at love.
Oh, Lin, its just not that simple, John muttered as he arranged the wardrobe pieces according to the manual.
Missing some parts? Linda asked, worried.
No, no, Im talking about personal matters. I dont want some old dear, Lin. Whats the point?
You want a young one then? Linda responded with a touch of humour.
Exactlya lively, sparky girl, someone quick on her feet with a twinkle in her eye. Not the sort who collapses onto the sofa, expecting to be waited on. I want someone affectionate like a cat in spring, who cooks a variety of meals and keeps the house spotless.
Ah, but young women these days arent much about keeping a house, Linda snorted dismissively. Look at my Natalie. She rents her own flat, but its such a tip I dread to step inside. And Serenas daughter Anna is worseshe orders mashed potatoes in! Why do you want someone young at all?
John grunted. Thats not how he pictured it. He wanted a young woman, yes, but one like an enchanting sprite from days gone by, who would gaze adoringly at him and would never dream of food delivery. Shed be skilled with a broom, a hoover, a mop shed make homemade dumplings.
At the thought of home-cooked dumplings, John smiled dreamily. He imagined a cheeky dear in a sweet apron placing a steaming plate of dumplings before him, and perhaps a glass of whisky, since he was partial to that.
Bet you bought those in the supermarket, John scolded his imagined young wife.
Oh no, darling, shed reply, wide-eyed, I made these myself! The shop-bought ones are dreadfultry mine, theyre delicious.
I believe it! John would say with regal kindness, playfully patting the impish girl right, he was in danger of drifting away with these daydreams, so he gathered himself.
No, John, Linda insisted, you need someone your own age, or just a couple of years younger. Be realistic: a young woman wont want you with your silver hair and old broken skis on the balcony.
John muttered that he was still in his prime. Well, nearly so, but still in fine form.
Youd have to treat a young woman to everythingposh clothes, fancy dinners, trips out. Besides, youve let yourself go these days, Linda added.
John tried to object. He reckoned a wife should love him for who he was, not his gifts or money. As for the comment about his physique, that stung a bit. John fancied himself a good-looking manhis little tummy only added to his charm, the silver in his hair suited him, and the thinning on top didnt detract from the picture.
No, John, a young one isnt for you, insisted Linda. Find a grown woman whose children are fully grown. Those sorts often have a bit set asidetheyll shower you with presents! And by the way, women look smashing these days, even later in life.
You make it sound as if youve got someone in mind? John asked, narrowing his eyes.
I do! Linda nodded. Alice Simmons from the first block. She lost her husband five years ago and lives on her own. We all feel for her.
Is she much affected by her loss? John asked. What would I do with a woman like that?
Oh, shes not pining away. She did her crying, but now shes joined a fitness class, goes swimming, even takes riding lessons. Women do all sorts of odd things when theres no man in the house, Linda said.
She carried on about this Alice, but John wasnt convinced. Alice was a pensioner, and that unsettled him. He even felt a twinge of envywomen got their pensions earlier, after all!
But there were upsides. If a womans retired, shed have more time to look after him, and she might feel a little grateful, for a man had taken her for a wife when she was no longer younga point of pride to share with her friends.
John, come here, Linda called from the balcony. Have a looktheres Alice. What do you think?
John peered down and nearly whistled in surprise. From five storeys up, he couldnt really make out her face, but Alice looked trim and well-dressed. She got out of her car and beeped the alarm.
She stopped to greet a neighbour and seemed bright and friendlyand she drove a better car than John. He thought, I could swap hers for mine if things go well. Why does she need such a smart car? Ill let her take mine.
What?” Linda asked.
Nothing, just thinking out loud.
Well? Linda pressed impatiently. Interested?
Not bad, John admitted, nodding. I wouldnt mind meeting her.
Well arrange something then! Linda beamed. Shell be delightedshe deserves some happiness. And if it works out, maybe Ill find a good man myself!
They began plotting ways to set up a meeting with Alice. According to Linda, Alice wasnt especially close with other neighboursalways friendly, but dashing off somewhere, to fitness, swimming, or the like.
Poor women make up all sorts to fill the emptiness of loneliness, John said, shaking his head. She seems a decent sortrather a shame.
Oh, shell be over the moon when she learns a chap like you has an eye for her, Linda said. She was generous with her joy for others and pleased to be matchmaking.
Well yes, whod turn down a million-pound lottery ticket? John quipped.
Linda agreed, glowing with pride. She said shed find a way to introduce them, and went to the kitchen, leaving John absorbed in the wardrobe, which he still couldnt assembleLinda would have to call a professional. But she wasnt disappointed; shed managed to arrange a meeting with Alice.
Not exactly a date, more a visit, but that was a start. She rang John and excitedly relayed the news.
Youre going round tomorrowmake sure you bring flowers.
Which flowers? Its been ages since I bought any. And theyre expensive.
No need for the posh onesask for whats on offer. She wont say no for lack of flowers.
Perhaps I just wont take any?
No nonsense; first impressions matter. And wear that beige jumper.
The one you gave me when I divorced Natalie?
Thats the one! Off you go.
John quizzed his sister about how shed secured this meeting. Linda explained that Alice had mentioned some issue with her radiators. Linda bragged that her brother was as good as gold and could have a look. Alice had rightly pointed out that the noise likely meant the system needed servicing and said shed ring the council, but Linda insisted John could help.
But Linda! I know nothing about plumbingI flooded the neighbour myself once, and he had to fix it! John exclaimed.
She knows that, Linda laughed. Shes not daft! Shes no blushing bride, so she understands whats going on. Youll go, shell have the table set, dumplings steaming because its easier to find a repairman than a good man!
John agreed and counted out his moneystill a week until payday, so only a small amount left after petrol and groceries. Still, he splurged on a bouquet. He was seeking his fate, after all, and Alice had been through so much.
Spruced up and clutching the flowers, John showed himself to Linda before heading out.
Alice is one lucky woman! Linda said with a touch of envy. If a man like you came to me
Feeling rather pleased with himself, John set off for Alices.
When she opened the door, John was momentarily thrown.
Alice looked well, if not younga well-kept face, slim figure, sparkling intelligent eyes, and no sign of greysshe had time to look after herself now. Soon enough, shed have a husband to fill her life with meaningJohn couldnt help but think.
He was dressed smartly and holding flowers. Alice, however, was in homey trousers and a light top, her hair in a bun, looking quite surprised.
Mr Peterson? she asked cautiously.
Yes, its me, he replied, handing her the bouquet, which only seemed to deepen her surprise.
For me? But whats the occasion? Alice asked, puzzled.
A visit to a delightful lady is occasion enough, John replied grandly. Go on, theyre for you.
Alice accepted the flowers and thanked him, moving straight into talk about the pipes and radiators, not even inviting him to sit.
Perhaps we could discuss all this over dinner? John suggested.
What dinner? Alices eyes widened. You really are Lindas brother, arent you?
Despite Johns hints about their meeting, Alice acted as if she hadnt a clue. He even delicately suggested a dress or change of hairstyle might be nice for the occasion, but each hint only made her more confused. Alice talked of radiators, and John had no interest in radiators.
Mr Peterson, why dont you take your flowers, and well call it a day, Alice said, shaking her head. Clearly, you were expecting a date, but I invited you as a handyman.
So you only wanted me for your plumbing problems? John replied, lips pursed in offence.
Well, yes! I fail to see the problem.
Thats simply using people! Thats not how I expect to be treated.
But I was going to pay you for the work, Alice answered, open-handed.
What work? I have no intention of doing your repairs! I came to give you flowersdecent ones, too.
Alice quickly pushed the bouquet back into his hands and told him kindly to see himself out.
Youre on your ownhow will you manage? John muttered, somewhat wounded.
Ill ring a proper repairman, dont worry, Alice replied, now rather amused by the whole thing.
What if you want something nice to eat?
I can cook!
For yourself? No, you cant be serioussingle women dont eat well until theres a man to look after.
I think thats quite enough. Mr Peterson, youre at the wrong address. Ive lived by myself for years and quite enjoy it. I eat well, travel when I wish, visit a café if I fancy. If something breaks, I call a professional. If I really need shelves up, my son-in-law helps. I think well say goodbye now.
John cast her a wounded glance before leaving. He had rather liked her flatloved the new kitchen and had pictured himself moving in the very first night. What a missed opportunity for Alice! A perfectly capable man, ready and willing. No games or manipulation needed.
Some widows are just wrong in the head, John grumbled, swinging his bouquet. There I was, a whole man, ready to be cared for, spoiled with good stews and all the rest but some dont know whats good for them!
He didnt head straight home but made his way back to Linda to moan about the hopeless widow. Linda listened, sceptical. Everyone in the building pitied Alice, living all alone and wanting to help her. But the silly woman turned her back on happiness.
She just cant believe her luck, brother, Linda said, pouring a little plum wine. Shes lived by herself so long shes gotten used to it. Give her timeshes probably standing at the window now, sighing at her loss. Pay her another visit after payday with more flowers, and this time shell see sense. Meanwhile, Ill keep the bouquetyou know, I’m a woman too.
She popped the flowers in water and, proud of her brother, felt certain Alice would be happy with him.
***
As for Alice, after Johns departure, she was a little bewildered, but the feeling soon passed; shed grown quite used to the advances of well-meaning but hopeless suitors. They all seemed to think a widow of a certain age must be longing to care for such a “prize,” fussing over him and his appetite.
Alice, after her husband had died, had quickly found her groove. The grandchildren were grown, and while she still took them to the coast in summer, she had more time for herself than ever. She had her pension and some savings, not to mention what she’d inherited from her late husband.
She kept fit, swam, enjoyed long walks, and spent happy hours with friends who shared her interests. She was planning to go to London next week with one of them to see a play with her favourite actor, and looked forward not just to the performance but to tea and cakes at her favourite café.
Catching sight of the clock, Alice broke into a gentle hurryher friend Harry would arrive soon. She dashed off for a shower to freshen up.
No, she didnt particularly crave a new relationship. She was perfectly content on her own. But it was splendid to have a charming companion to drive around the city with and enjoy a coffee.
Life after retirement was full of events and bright impressions. Yet, Alice always marvelled at how people simply assumed shed gladly exchange her freedom and happiness for snores and stews.
Some people cherish tranquillity and independence the older they get, and theres nothing improper about that. Happiness means something different to everyone, and as Alice well knew, looking after oneselfin your own wayis as worthy and dignified as looking after anyone else.
