Stolen Happiness
Mum, I feel awful, she groaned as her eyes fluttered open.
Why is it, I wonder, that no matter how old you areeven well past thirty, if youre facing something terrifying, you call out for your mum?
Shh, youll feel better soon, love. The operation was a success, her mum said softly, coming to her bedside. Would you like a drink? The doctor said you could have some juice.
Yes, please, Mum Sorry for making you worry.
Her mum looked at Grace with such tenderness, but her eyes were still red from crying and stress.
Thats all right, sweetheart. The worst is behind us now.
Where are you staying, Mum? You can take the keys to my flat if you need.
No need, darling, Ill stay with Aunt Sylvia.
After Grace had been moved out of intensive care, her mum had been with her non-stop; she only left after making sure Grace was stable and recovering in a regular ward.
It was only then that Catherine went home to the village, where her husband awaited her. Clarke glared at her openly as she arrived:
You just dropped everything and ran off when she called, didnt you? Do you even remember what I asked of you?
Catherine avoided his eyes. Theyd agreed not to even mention that name, but suddenly, she couldnt hold her tongue anymore and snapped:
Our daughter was in a car accident, and the hospital called me! What if Id lost Grace? Id never forgive youor myself!
Clarke just huffed and went outside to smoke, saying nothing. Catherine finally allowed herself to feel everything: the pain, the fear, the tears. She was quickly joined by Cassie, cradling her own little one:
Mum, you left without telling anyone. Dont do that again. I was worried sick about you, and little Maisie wouldnt sleep at all.
Cassie thrust the baby into her mothers arms, oblivious to the fact that Catherine was exhausted from the journey.
What happened to Gracie? Cassie snapped irritably.
Its nothing, Catherine answered.
Hmph. Have it your way. Dont tell me if you dont want to.
***
Her illness showed up slowly at first. Grace had put down her morning numbness in hands and feet to bad weather, the headaches seemed harmless. Then the pain ramped up, and eventually, the only way she could even step onto the stage was with a gutful of painkillers. Finally, she booked an appointment at a private clinic. Full workup. The diagnosis was devastatinga complete stop to her career. Her body simply couldnt handle dancing anymore. All the fallout from that silly car crash.
With no work, staying on in London made no sense. So, with a heavy heart, Grace started packing her things. The flat that once felt posh and freewell, it was rented anyway. Now she kicked herself; Mum had told her a million times to buy at least a tiny studio flat with a mortgage. But shed wanted to live large after allbig wardrobe, sauna, jacuzzi, all the bells and whistles.
The flood of admirers and good wages had gone to her head; somehow, it seemed like things would always stay this good.
As she packed up her flashy clothes, Grace laughed bitterly. Most of the stuff shed spent so much on would never see the light of day again. Neon crop tops, colourful mini skirts, countless pairs of high platform dance shoesall useless now, and certainly nothing shed wear in normal life.
Yep. Thats where most of her money had goneluxury makeup, perfumes, clothes, shoes. She had nothing saved up; every last bit shed had went to her fiancéhed needed to upgrade his car before their wedding. Worst of all, it was while driving that silly new car that she and Jamie had ended up skidding straight into that crash. The car was written off, insurance wouldnt pay outJamie was at fault. And then, he disappearedblocked her everywhere, owed her money, never looked back.
Lifes never one to let you get too comfortable, is it? Grace thought of all the posh brunches and holidays, the presents shed brought family, the wedding shed planned for the man who seemed perfect.
In short, shed blown it all and stashed nothing, even when she could have.
Oh well, Ill find a way, she muttered, dragging her suitcases to the door and calling her mum.
Mum, Ill be back on the late train, then Ill get a taxi to the village.
Ill be there waiting for you, love.
***
Clarke snorted as his wife put down her phone in the hallway.
That one again, is it? he grumbled. I told you, I dont want her setting foot in this house. Is she really coming?
Cassie was sitting at the big old round table, spoon-feeding Maisie. She glanced up at her dad and muttered:
Dad, I accidentally overheard their phone call. Gracies heading home tonightshe must be desperate, or shed never have rung.
He just grunted, nostrils flaring.
Well, let her try it. Ill give her a proper welcome and all. Shes a disgrace, embarrassing me like this.
Serves her right, Cassie nodded. And she reckons no one here knows how she earned a living in London
She scooped up Maisie, left the table, and went to the bedroom she now had to herself with her two-year-old. She and Grace had shared this room as sisters, but things were never exactly rosy between them, and when Grace moved to the city for work, jealousy flared up.
About time she got her comeuppance, Cassie thought. She always flounced around like a queenlifes put everyone in their place now.
But sometimes having only herselfand now her own childmade it hard. It used to be easy to smile, to please her parents. Now, everything made her angry: nothing was going right, she was raising a child by herselfand Grace was to blame for all of it.
Maisie refused to sleep, squirming and blinking up at her huge blue eyes. Cassie pinched the toddlers thigh under her covers.
Sleep, I said! she hissed.
Maisie started to cry and her fathers voice came instantly through the door:
Cassie, whats wrong with Maisie?
Shes just fidgety. Tired and fighting sleep.
The crying worked, thoughMaisie dozed off quickly. Cassie didnt use that trick muchMum sometimes bathed Maisie and could have seen the marks.
Satisfied Maisie was asleep, Cassie tidied the kitchen, glancing at the clock. Grace must have boarded her train by now.
Shell turn up. Just what we need
Evening fell, and as the front door banged shut, Cassie ran to the hallway, eager to see her father kick her useless sister out.
A cool rush of wind swept in as a tall, fit woman appeared, trundling in a smart wheeled suitcase. A young taxi driver lugged the rest of her bags into the house.
Their mum was bustling about, thanking the driver and inviting him in for tea.
Have a cuppa for the road!
No, thank you, Ive got plenty of fares tonight.
Safe travels, Grace called.
Cassie glared at Graces trim figure. How did she always stay that way? She must go to some posh gym, while Cassie barely had two minutes to herself between housework, the garden, and the fields.
She scanned for her father. Oddly enough, he didnt show his facehe was in the lounge, fiddling with his newspaper in silence. Cassie fumed. So much for throwing her out.
Meanwhile, Grace took her shoes off and poked her head in the living room.
Hi, Dad! Still mad at me? Will you let me crash here for a week? Ive got no strength left, I just want to rest with you all
He looked up at her, gruffly.
Kick you out, would I? Youre like a cockroach, cant get rid of you.
Cassie burned with resentment as Grace rushed over and hugged her father.
You said earlier you wouldnt let her through the door! she fumed. Always the same. I worked so hard for them, but they always preferred Grace.
Maisie started to cry and Grace turned, brightening.
Oh, is that Maisie? Ive got something for her!
Grace dashed to her bags, digging out a big colourful box.
This is for Maisie.
My daughter doesnt want anything from you, Cassie snapped.
Mum, look at the size of this doll! their mum said, stepping in. Maisies never had a toy like this. Its even bigger than her! I cant wait to see how she reacts.
Cassie made a face and stormed out. She didnt want to see her daughter reaching for a gift from her, or to watch her parents fawn all over it.
Grace barely ate, sitting quietly at the table.
Mum, Dad. I really missed you, you know. Just never realised it before. Life in London kept me spinning, always working, never stopping.
So, did you save up then? Cassie sneered. Probably bought a flat by now?
Mum shot Cassie a look.
Grace, you must be tired from your travels. I made up the sofa for you in the loungethe other rooms taken with Maisie, and to be honest itd be cramped for you there anyway.
Mum, thats perfect. Gosh, I love this house. It even smells different familiar. Like home.
Clarke paced the room, obviously wanting to talk to Grace alone but not sure how. She didnt even look like the same girl hed raisedall polished and elegant.
Im putting Maisie to bed tonightGrace, you can do the washing up! Cassie shouted, slamming the bedroom door behind her.
Her irritation just bubbled away, seeking an outlet.
Meanwhile, Grace hugged her father and burst into tears.
Dad, Im sorry! I wanted to surprise you with good news about my wedding Instead, everythings a mess. I never get things right. Im so tired of it all, Dad. Tired of life.
Shh, enough of that. Dont you talk like thatyouve not even seen real life yet. One day, youll have your own children and youll see what those words mean to a parent. Youre not being thrown out. Stay as long as you need. Well help, however we can. If youre ill, were not going to force you back to work.
The house walls were thinCassie could hear every word.
Hes lost it, saying that to her! She just wants to live off them now! Shes crying on purpose, trying to get sympathy, Cassie fumed.
Next morning, Grace put on a headscarf and headed to the kitchen.
No headache? Catherine fussed.
A little, but Im all right, Grace managed a weak smile.
Youre far too skinny, darling, you need to eat more.
I will now. I dont have to worry about my weight anymore.
What weight? Theres nothing left of you! Listenthe money you sent me, I didnt spend it. I saved it.
Grace looked at her, surprised.
But why?
I just knew youd need it one day. You sent so much, I was scared to touch it.
Cassie came in for some water, brushing hard past Grace.
In the way, like alwaysmove, will you?
After breakfast, their parents suggested a walk.
Why dont you show Grace the new street and the shop theyre building by the river?
Fine, Cassie muttered.
Id drown her in that river if I could; I never want to see her face again, she thought.
A few people glanced Graces way as they walked. Not everyone recognised her, but those who did, stopped to chat. Once, shed been a village favourite.
Cassie eyed her sisters trim frame under a short jumper and leggings.
You shouldnt dress like that herepeople will talk. There were rumours about you even before.
Oh? What sort of rumours? Grace bristled. The ones you started?
Cassie smirked.
Its not about me, sis. You chose that life. Dont blame the gossipslook to yourself.
Ive nothing to be ashamed of. I did nothing wrong, Grace shot back, holding her head high, to Cassies surprise.
Oh, you think ten years have passed and people forgot? Not a chance.
Oh for
Grace stared at her sister.
So what? So I ended up a victimyes, that happened. Because of you, too, lets not pretend you dont know it.
Cassie threw her head back, a wicked smile on her face.
Is that so? Still blaming me? You want someone to blame for how far you fell. Meanwhile, Ive led a simple life. Had my daughter with Alex Brown. Waiting for him to come to his senses and propose. Maisies his, by the wayand you thought he was still mooning over you?
The mention of Alexs name made Grace flinch. She shoved her sister aside.
Get lost. Im not walking with you. Rather be on my own.
Cassie watched her walk away, then noticed a group of grannies near the shop and yelled after her:
Go on, then! No one here wants you, you old has-been!
Grace didnt turn. She walked on, proud, until she ducked down a side lane and broke into a run for the woods.
Thats when the emotions hither heart hammering, all the old pain flooding back.
How dare she dredge up the past like this, dig her nails into old wounds? I died inside a thousand times already over this!
Almost ten years ago, Grace had made a mistake. Shed been a mischievous student, somehow managing to stay in good stead with her parents, while seeing Alex on weekends. His family were all for a wedding, but her own wanted her to finish university first.
It should have all been so perfectuntil Cassie finished school, tried her luck in the city, flunked everything, and ran away from her halls. Grace had no idea then just how low her little sister could go.
Cassie got tangled up in a bad situation, and got herself out by giving up her sisters name. Grace remembers that night, how badly things went, how she barely escaped from a group of lads in the estate. The scars of that night, though never seen, shaped everything. Even when she wanted to tell Alex, she discovered Cassie had already twisted the truth.
Just dont say anything, hed said quietly. That was their last real conversation. After that, Grace chucked her phone, gave up any hope of a future together.
No wedding for me. Weddings are for the pure, and I was sick at the sight of myself.
Her physical wounds healed, but the ones inside turned to ugly scars. Everyone turned their back; even her own mother asked her to stay awayrumours of the assault had spread through the village. Only one friend stuck aroundJoan, a quiet, awkward girl no one else liked. Joan dragged her along to a club, convinced her to try dancing.
For whatever reason, dancing at that club felt safebouncers kept her harm-free, and she even picked up a few shows herself. The audience loved it. She was beautiful, young, sharp. Over time, she became untouchable. Cut off from friends, from menshe was a tigress, alone with her bitterness, trying not to remember Alex.
***
Her mum worried herself sick watching for Grace to come back from her walks. When Grace finally came home from the woods, her mum pulled her into a hug.
Did you have a row with Cassie? Dont be cross with her, youre sisters. Shes not herself, either. Her boyfriend lied to her, promised marriage, but vanished after Maisie was born.
I know, Mum. Maisies Alex Browns daughter.
Catherine startled.
Alex? No! He never even looked at her. I think hes still searching for someone like you. Hasnt dated anyone since We always hoped hed take notice of Cassie, we even joked about it with his parents, but
She trailed off, seeing the pain on Graces face.
Im sorry, love. He was yours, after all.
Enough, Mum. Im over it.
Cassie didnt like the conversation either, appearing with Maisie in her arms and snapping:
Ill be moving out. Clearly, were not wanted here.
Catherine threw up her hands.
What are you talking about? Wherell you go with a little one in tow? No ones asking you to leavetheres room enough for us all.
Grace stood too, quietly.
Maybe I should be the one to go. Dont worryIll be all right.
At that, Catherine crumpled and sat on the step, sobbing.
What are you doing to me, girls? Were familyyou both mean the world to me!
Cassie just muttered and disappeared, while Grace sat comforting their mother. That evening there was a knock at the door. Nobody was expecting anyoneit was Alex.
He looked much the same, just broader, more grown up. Grace nodded at him:
Hi Alex. Come in, Ill fetch my sister.
Im not here for her, he interrupted. I heard you were back in the village and wanted to see you. After all, we meant something to each other once. Will you come out? Id like to talk.
Oh, why bother, she said, stepping outside, her mums cardigan wrapped tightly around her.
Please, Grace. I just want to sort out my feelings.
Grace shivered in the evening chill.
What feelings? Dont talk rubbish.
You think theyve gone away? After you, I never met anyone. Didnt want to.
Poor little youhow did you get by? she mocked gently.
Like living in hell, he admitted. After the rumours, it was like I died. Every day felt like torture.
Grace blinked and stayed quiet, then finally said,
It wasnt you, Alex. You could have moved onplenty of women out there.
I didnt want anyone else. I only wanted one person for life. What about you?
Grace felt a deep sadness rising inside. Had things been different, shed be here as his wife, cooking his dinners, maybe their children would be running around the garden by now. But her happiness had been stolen, buried beneath tears.
I almost marriedbut it didnt work out. Who needs me now, sick and old?
Dont say stupid things. Youre only thirty.
Feels like Ive lived a lifetime.
Come on, Grace. Walk with me?
She hesitated a long moment.
I dont see the point. Sorry. You should go home, Im freezing.
Im not going anywhere, Grace. When I saw you today, I couldnt think about anything else. Forgive me for not finding you sooner. I was young and stupid and left you alone. I almost came running for you a hundred times. Every year since has been like slow torture
***
Cassie stood pressed against the lounge door, trying to catch every word. She didnt realise her mum was standing behind her.
Cassie. Leave your sister alone.
Cassie straightened and stepped away.
Its not what you think. Thought I could hear a draught.
Dont lie. You follow Alex around, but hes never wanted you, and you know it. Stop pretending Maisies hisshe isnt.
Oh, and what if she is? Maybe Ill have another! Whats so special about Grace anyway? All you lot care about is her, her, her! Shes always overshadowed me!
Catherine shook her head, tears falling.
You hurt her, Cassie. I know. Grace told me everything. She took your place. You pressured her, and she got caught up in something that wasnt her doing.
No! It was her own fault! She always acted like she was above us. Its humiliating, but even then, they wanted her more! I dont get whats so wonderful about her.
Its not about herits about you, Cassie. Why are you so angry? Dont you dare talk cruelly about Graceshes my child, my daughter. You had no right to mess up her life.
Clarke appeared:
Thats enough. Everyone to bed, now.
He couldnt sleep a wink after that, heart heavy with remorse.
All those years I listened to Cassies stories and never got the whole truth. I was ashamed of Grace, shunned her. And Catherine kept quiet, tried to spare me. It was all so delicate how do you even ask about things like that?
Clarke wandered outside, restless, wanting to see his daughter. Hed lost so many years with her, even banned Catherine from seeing hernot knowing the full story.
He found Grace and Alex sitting together on the Browns garden bench. Alex was making daisy chains, and Grace was plaiting them into a crown.
He listened for a minutethey laughed quietly, voices soft and full of affection.
Clarke tiptoed back home, getting into bed with a smile for the first time in years. Well, maybe theyll be all right now. Maybe everything will finally be okay, he wished silently in the darkness.
