“Mum, meet someone,” said William, stepping forward with a young woman. “This is Emily. My fiancée.”
Anna nearly collapsed where she stood, but thankfully, the chair was right behind her. Her boy, her little Will, looked like a schoolboy next to this woman.
“Alright?” said Emily, hands stuffed in her jeans, chewing gum, standing there like she owned the place.
“Hello… there,” Anna muttered, stunned. “How did you… When?”
“Mum, it’s fine!” Will kicked off his shoes and nodded for Emily to do the same. “Well be living at Emilys place, right, love?”
“Mmhmm,” she nodded, jaws working hard.
“Son, can I have a word?” Anna rose and headed to the kitchen.
“You can talk in front of me,” Emily plopped into the armchair, flipping through channels with the remote, one leg crossed over the other. “Will and I dont keep secrets. Right, Dumbo?”
“Right, Mum,” Will nodded, flushing red.
“Fine,” Anna steadied herself. “Son, are you sure about this? Shes at least ten years older than you.”
“Eight!” Emily corrected. “And it doesnt matter. Got a problem with that? Im independent, successful, a grown woman”
“Exactly! A woman! My boys barely twenty!” Anna clutched her head.
“Well, someones got to make a man out of him, since no one else managed by now,” Emily smirked.
Anna gaped like a fish out of water.
“Mum,” Will finally spoke, “the thing iswe need money for the wedding.”
“And whys that my problem?” Anna scoffed, stunned by the audacity.
“How is it not?” Emily frowned. “Traditionally, the grooms family pays. Mine wont cover it.”
“Oh, brilliant!” Anna threw up her hands. “Marry off your leftover spinster and squeeze money out of me? You should be paying me for taking my baby off your hands! Not a penny!”
Emily stood, chuckling, and stepped right into Annas space. “Suit yourself, old bird. Come on, Dumbo, well manage.” She marched out, Will scrambling after her.
As he passed his mother, he gave her one last hopeful glancemaybe shed change her mind. But she turned away.
“Why Dumbo?” Anna called after them.
“Because of his ears!” Emily yelled from the doorway before shoving Will out.
“Bye, Mum!” Will barely got out before the door slammed.
“Lord, where did I go wrong?!” Anna sobbed into a pack of biscuits at the kitchen table. Her sweet, gentle boysnatched by a predator.
“His ears are perfectly normal,” she sniffed belatedly at the door.
Outside, Emily scratched her head. “What now? We cant afford a proper venue, let alone a band.”
“Maybe we could have it at our holiday home? Then go on a trip?” Will suggested hopefully. Hed only just started workingnowhere near enough savings.
“Why didnt you say sooner?” Emily slapped his back. “Go ask your mum for the keys. Ill wait herespare her my ‘modern charm,'” she laughed.
Just as Anna calmed down, the doorbell rang again.
“Now what?” she grumbled, answering to find Will alone.
“She didnt dump you?!” Anna brightened.
“Mum, come on! We love each other.”
“Then what?”
“Can we borrow the holiday home for the wedding?”
“Over my dead body! Youll wreck the place!”
“Well clean up! Everyone will help. Dont you want me happy?”
Anna choked on her water. “I do! Just not like this!”
“Emilys amazing, Mum.”
“Not from where Im standing,” she sighed. “Fine.”
She fetched the keys, grumbling.
“Youre the best!” Will kissed her cheek and bolted.
“Look, love!” He waved the keys triumphantly outside.
“See? You can be useful,” Emily said, spitting out her gum before kissing him.
Anna was invitedsurprisingly.
“How am I supposed to smile?” she complained to her neighbour. “Id rather drown her in the punch bowl, but noI have to toast their happiness.”
“Honestly, dont stress,” the neighbour shrugged. “Kids these daysmarried today, divorced tomorrow. Mines on her third husband. Just pray they dont have kids.”
“Whats the point then?”
“Who knows? Some collect marriages like stamps.”
The wedding day was sunny.
“Lucky with the weather!” guests cheered. About thirty showed up, including Emilys parentsstuffy as turkeys. Her mother whined about bugs, while her father, after a few whiskies, flirted shamelessly.
“What does she see in him?” Emilys mum sniffed to Anna.
“Funny, I was wondering the same about your daughter,” Anna snapped, moving away.
Outside, Annas heart sankchaos reigned. Guests trampled her vegetable patch, raided her firewood, and relieved themselves behind her apple trees.
“Use the loo!” she shouted, pointing at the quaint outhouse.
“Right-o, Mum!” drunk groomsmen laughed, zipping up.
By dawn, the place was a wasteland of bottles, half-eaten kebabs, and passed-out guests. Anna wandered, picking up silk scarves from branches.
“At least no underwear,” she muttered.
Will emerged, stretching.
“Mum, whatre you doing?”
“Waiting to see who cleans this mess!”
“Theyll get to it,” he waved her off.
Then the newlyweds appearedluggage in hand.
“Where are you going?” Anna blocked them. “What about the cleanup?”
“Weve got a flight,” Will nudged her aside.
“And the guests?!”
“Theyve got legs,” Emily said, dragging him off. “This dumps all yours.”
One by one, guests slunk away, leaving Anna knee-deep in trash.
“Sorry, love,” Emilys dad hiccuped. “Were off.”
Alone, Anna surveyed the wreckage. In the bedroom, she spotted an envelope under gift boxescash from the guests. A small fortune.
“Didnt think they had it in them,” she mused, dialling a cleaning service.
“Morning! Sparkle & Shine? I need a full clear-up.” She counted out the cash, smirking.
“Safe travels, kids,” she said, settling down with coffee and biscuits.
