The Point of No Return
Its impossible! How are we meant to live without hot water? Thomass lament echoed through the house. The water had only been off for two days, yet he was muttering and grumbling, as if the world had come to an end. Honestly, it happened every year without fail. With a weary sigh, Emily rolled over, pulled the pillow over her ear, and tried to drift back to sleep. No sooner had she closed her eyes than Thomas entered the bedroom, plucked the pillow from her ear, and demanded:
Why arent you up yet, hm?
Emily winced inwardly. Always the same routine.
Thomas! What now? Im not up because I dont have to go into work until lunchtime today. I did tell you yesterday
But Emily, what am I meant to do? Wholl sit with me while I have my breakfast? Thomas whined softly.
Emily gave him a bemused look. You specifically told me yesterday that I didnt need to get up with you. But fine, of course Ill sit with you.
He didnt reply, just walked out of the room, leaving Emily no choice but to get out of bed as well.
So they sat together in the kitchen, Emily sipping at her coffee and Thomas showering her with compliments and professions of love. Of course, Emily warmed at his words, yet she still pictured the man whod denied her a decent lie-in that morningno matter how she tried, that memory wouldnt budge.
After Thomas left for work, Emily curled back up under the duvet and pondered. Why was it that, during their courtship, shed thought Thomas quite perfect, but once theyd married, all his little flaws had filtered through? His incessant whining, for one Perhaps they should have lived together first, but she had so wanted to be married that she’d dismissed the idea. Yet, his grumbling was not the worst thingsurely she too had her own irritating habits that others noticed more than she did herself. So, perhaps, it was something to live withor maybe, somehow, turn to their advantage. How, though, Emily had no idea.
Emily! Ive figured out what we should buy!
Shed barely stepped through the door when Thomas pounced on her.
Oh? And whats that?
A water heater! Obviously!
A water heater? But why? Its just once a year the council turn the water off, and only for ten days. Why bother?
Exactly! Ten whole days without hot water! Pure misery!
Emily didnt particularly sufferwashing up in cold water was unpleasant and bathing meant boiling a kettle, yet she managed. Still, if Thomas wanted a water heater, so be it.
All right, lets get one. But wed better be quickhot water will be back in eight days.
Absolutely! Thomas agreed with vigour. Send me some options.
So much for choosing together, Emily thought; apparently, she was to do the legwork. Still, off she went, trawling through models of water heaters, sending suggestions to Thomasnone of which pleased him. The days flew by, the water came back, and the heater was forgotten.
Emily, lets still get that heater. Well need it next year, Thomas insisted, and so Emily kept sending him options, which he kept rejecting.
At work, her colleague Jane offered her help, Emily, my brother and I just bought one for our cottage. Let me help you pick. Jane even found a model and offered a discount, as long as Emily ordered within two days. Emily, exasperated, ordered it.
Why didnt you consult me first? Were supposed to be a family, Thomas protested.
I did try. You never replied, Emily defended herself.
No, you chose wrong! Thomas retorted, but then relented, Well, never mind. Whats done is done.
Emily felt guilty, annoyed, and strangely hurt.
I wont buy another thing again, she vowed inwardly.
Thomas, how long is this heater going to sit here? Ive stubbed my toe on it countless timesit hurts!
Yes, yes, EmilyIll sort it soon, promise, Thomas replied, as he always did.
Emily sighed, knowing full well it would still be there come next years water outage. Eventually, unable to bear it any longer, she called in a professional to have it fitted.
Emily! You shouldve consulted meits all wrong! Thomas fussed. Emily just shrugged.
Do we have hot water? Yes. The rest is trivial.
Inside, she wondered whether shed ever wanted the heater in the first place.
Another day, Emily found herself at Janes, listening as Jane railed against her own husbandhe was useless, he never helped, it was all too much.
Ive decided to divorce him, Jane finished.
But Jane, you have a child! Emily gasped.
So what? I carry everything. Without him, itd be easier.
But what about love? You two were so in love, Emily murmured softly.
Were, exactly. Now theres nothing. Hes unhelpful, he moans to his mother, and she bombards me with lectures. I just cant go on.
Jane paused, her voice tinged with envy, I wish I had a husband like yours.
Emilys mouth hung open in surprise. Did Jane really think Thomas was ideal? It was just that Emily never discussed their troubles or complained. She kept quiet, but didnt argue the point.
On the walk home, Emilys thoughts turned inwarddid she still love Thomas or was it just habit? Would she be better off without him?
Where have you been, so late? Thomas complained. Hed become perpetually disgruntled. No supper. Im starving.
But Emily started, wanting to remind him that only the night before hed agreed to buy his own dinner on her late shifts. But she stopped; experience told her hed twist it to suggest shed misunderstood. Ill make something now, she said instead.
Peeling potatoes, she mused how love seemed to ebb away, drop by drop over little grievances. Drip, drip until, suddenly, you realised you were strangers.
She shivered at the thoughtno, she didnt want that. For others, fine; for herself, no.
Thomas unlocked the door, and together they stepped inside.
At last! Home at last! Thomas declared.
Emily said nothing. She was glad to be home, of course, but wouldnt have minded staying out longer with friends. She didnt often see them; Thomass whims were unpredictable. Sometimes he wanted to socialise, sometimes not, and if she went out alone, he sulked, but if she stayed in, he grew moody anyway. Emily tried to ignore this but always ended up angry.
So, what did Andrew want from you? Thomas asked suddenly.
Nothing much. He said hes got an offer for me, wants to talk tomorrow, Emily replied calmly.
And youll go? Thomas snapped.
Yes, why not? Its work.
Did you plan to consult me? Or are we not a family?
Emily was bewildered.
Of course we are. But its my job, and I think I can decide for myself where and with whom I work. She truly didnt see why her job required his permission.
Im not going anywhere with you, mind.
That was odd.
Why would you need to?
Because I know Andrew wants to open a new branchand hell probably want you to run it.
Where would that be?
Thomas looked away, and understanding dawned on Emily.
Surely not where we talked about moving?
Yes, he muttered gruffly.
But thats wonderful!
No. Im not going. And neither are you.
Emily didnt know what to say, but resolved to meet Andrew anyway.
Thats my offer, Emily. What do you think? Andrews gaze was steady.
Why not hire someone local? Emily asked.
I trust you. Thats why.
Thomas refuses to move, Emily said quietly.
Andrew got up and began to pace. I really didnt want to say this, Emily. But I think you ought to leave him.
Emilys face drained of colour.
Why? I love him.
I know. But the truth is, hes cheating on you.
No. I dont believe it!
Andrew shrugged. Its your choice to believe me or not. But its the truth. With Jane, in fact. Hes quite happy as things aretwo women, both keeping him happy. Please, think about my offer.
Emily left Andrews office unsteady on her feet.
Home felt both familiar and suddenly hollow. She tucked herself onto the sofa, knees beneath her chin.
Drip, drip, drip what was that? She followed the noise to the bathroom and found the tap dripping. She turned it off and stood there, hearing that slow, inner dripher love ebbing away.
Moments later, she rushed out, threw on her coat, and five minutes later stood outside Janes door. No answer. She knocked; still nothing, until a neighbour poked her head out and said, Shes at work, dear. Of course. Only Emily had gotten leave that day.
Just then, the lift doors openedout stepped Jane, with Thomas. They fell silent the moment they saw Emily, heavy tension in the air.
Emily was silent, but inwardly she knew Andrew had not lied. Thomas tried to say something, but Emily didnt listen. She just glanced at Jane, who couldnt meet her eyes, and then, realising there was nothing left for her here, she ran down the stairs, not caring whether Thomas was following. Once outside, she hurried to the avenue and lost herself in the crowd.
So its trueso it really is true, echoed in Emilys mind.
All that adjusting, putting Thomas first at every turn, bending her will to suit himall for nothing.
Her sense of self, her worldview, shattered. She pulled out her phone and dialled Andrew.
I accept your offer, was all she managed to say.
