You know, you’re older nowwell, even older, I guessyour husband walked away without ever finding out about your surprise
So, Faith sat nervously across from the doctor, waiting for his verdict, but he seemed to be writing endlessly in her file. She hadn’t needed to see a doctor in years, and now she found herself in this rather soulless, albeit modern, consulting room, weighed down by a gloomy sense of foreboding. It had taken a lot for Faith to see a male gynaecologist, but the GP had insisted she see all the specialists, and there weren’t any lady doctors available that day. She desperately wanted to get her check-up over and done with, so for the first time ever, she ignored her own principles.
“Is it something serious?” Faith finally blurted, unable to bear the suspense, and the doctor looked up at her over his glasses.
“You’re thirteen weeks pregnant,” he said, turning back to his paperwork, asking her to just hang on a minute.
Faith was completely floored. She sat there, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, unable to find her words.
“Sorrywhat do you mean, pregnant?” she managed to whisper eventually.
“Nothing unusual about it,” said the doctor, pushing the file aside, obviously preparing to add something more. He stared at her, “You didn’t know?”
“Of course not, how would I have? I thought, given my age, my cycle was simply all over the place,” she said, bewildered.
“I see…” The doctor seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “I have to warn you, it’s too late now for any terminations. But at your age, with this being your first pregnancy, there could be complications with delivery. It’s important you mentally prepare yourself and follow my advice closely if… you want to keep the child.”
“Is there really a choice?” Faith wanted to say that this baby was a life-long dream, but all she managed was that simple question.
“Some women do ask us to make arrangements, and some doctors agree, if there are serious medical reasons. So it can be arranged if absolutely necessary.”
Faith stood up, realising instantly what he was suggesting, and said sharply, “No, thank you.”
“Well, that’s good then! Let me set up some tests for you and prescribe some vitamins”
“No, that’s not necessary. Thank you,” Faith gathered her things, “I’ll be getting my care elsewhere.”
She couldn’t stomach any more from the doctorit felt all wrong, so she left, resolved never to return.
Out in the hallway, Faiths first thought was to call her husband, Nick, but when she pulled her mobile out of her bag, it was dead flat. She sat there, stunned. She couldnt quite take in what the doctor had saidsurely, it couldnt be true? She and Nick had been married for 25 years, about to celebrate their silver anniversary, but children had always eluded them, despite trying everything under the sun. Various specialists, health retreats, even a psychic recommended by Nicks sisternothing helped. In the end, about ten years ago, they’d let the dream fade instead of torturing themselves over something that clearly wasn’t meant to be.
And now, when they’d both stopped believing in miracles, here she waspregnant. Faith took a taxi home, her thoughts spinning around Nick and how delighted he’d be. Only recently, he had jokedslightly enviouslyabout how his friend Steve Palmer had just had his fourth son, despite being in his late fifties. “A bit old to be starting with nappies again, isn’t it?” Faith had teased, and Nick replied, “I wouldn’t care how old I was if I got to be a dad now. Honestly, I’d move mountains for a child.” So, she was sure hed be thrilled.
That sparked an ideashed keep her pregnancy secret until their anniversary the following week, and reveal it as a surprise. Shed even ring the restaurant and ask them to swap their traditional cake order for something baby-themedlittle teddy bears, tiny bottles, perhaps even a marshmallow pregnancy test with two pink stripes on top. When the cake was presented, Nick would be so surprisedafter all, theyd chosen the menu together, so this would totally catch him off guard.
But dreams dont always come true. Over the next few days, Faith floated through life in a daze, not noticing changes in Nicks mood or the distance growing between them. She put his moodiness down to concern for her, considering shed been under the weather latelyheadaches, nausea, overwhelming tiredness. Shed barely spent time with him, which was why shed gone for a check-up in the first place, and now that she knew the real reason, she felt almost joyful even through the morning sickness. She consoled herself that soon Nick would know and be over the moon.
But the night before the big celebration, as Faith tried on her new dress, Nick came home early, carrying a bouquet of luscious peach liliesthe same kind hed given her when they first met.
For a moment, all the years fell away and Faith felt like the pretty girl who all the local boys had chased, though only Nick had managed to win her heart. He was two years her junior, and shed never noticed him until he tossed a note through her window from their high-up ground floor flat one day. Shed been so startled to see his face at her window, but the thrill and pride of being secretly admired by a younger boy carried her right through to the end of school and beyond. Nick, forever persistent, would leave notes and chocolates, write Faith from class 7B is the best on the playground asphalt, while the other boys hovered on the sidelines, all bravado and no action.
Despite all the teasing, and her own silence, Faith began to appreciate his steadfast devotion over the yearsuntil it became part of her lifes fabric. After she left school, he followed her into the same college, kept courting her, and after his military stint, came home and proposed. But Im an old girl to you, she laughed, and he replied, deadly serious, “Dont joke like that, Faith. Ive loved you for years and always will.” She couldnt help but fall for him in the end.
Now here he was, standing with those lilies, but his gaze had gone cold and unfamiliar.
Faith tensed. Nick didnt keep her waiting long.
Faith, we have to cancel the celebration. Will you ring the restaurant?”
“Whats happened?”
She couldnt imagine what could have caused this. Everything was already paid for and guests had been invited. What on earth had gone wrong?
“Look, Faith, weve been together a long time and I thought I was happy but a couple of months ago, I met someone else and… Ive fallen in love. And,” he hesitated, “you know, my gran always said I was chasing after women too old for me, and she was probably right. You were older than me then, and now youre even olderonly by a couple of years, but older all the same. Now Ive met someone young, lovely, lively,” he scratched his head. “God, that sounds awful, Im sorry, that isnt why, not really… The thing is, Claras pregnant. I finally have a chance to be a father and thats really the main reason. Lets just part as friends. Ill always be grateful for the years we shared, but weve reached a crossroads, Faith. Please forgive me.”
It felt like Faiths insides caught fire with pain and humiliation.
Just go, she whispered, Go, I dont want to see you. Ill pack your thingsjust go! she nearly shouted, clutching her stomach in agony.
Nick didnt wait for a repeat. He left, and Faith immediately called for an ambulance.
She couldn’t understand how someone could betray so easilythe person you’d shared hopes, secrets, warmth with through thick and thin. Maybe love really isnt forever. But she reflected, even as she lay in the ward, that shed truly been happy all those years togethermany people never know that level of joy. Maybe happiness is sometimes only loaned to us, just until we need it most. She refused to harbour bitterness towards her exsuch a sharp word, ex. Let him find happiness elsewhere. Shed pour hers into her child, a gift from heaven sent at the perfect moment.
The doctors at the hospital did everything to ensure the baby was safe, and in the end, Faith was told to stay through to her due date. She didnt mind. She told her friends she was off travellingshe didnt want anyone gossiping about her late-in-life pregnancy. Her mother was the only visitor, fussing over Faith, bringing homemade meals and fruit, mothering her as if she were a child herself, and walking with her around the hospital grounds.
Nick called a few timesasking for forgiveness, even suggesting a meeting, but Faith brushed it off, wished him and Clara happiness, and the calls soon stopped. He messaged once after, “Youve always been the best woman Ive ever knownsorry it all ended like this.”
Faith forgave him. She knew carrying resentment is poison, but leaving your heart open invites happiness back in. And she knew, deep down, with her mum and baby, shed find her purposeand so would her boy, whod now be surrounded by love. If only his grandfather couldve been there to see it.
Months passed in a kind of blur, except the last, which felt endless. But the day finally cameFaith looked at her newborn son and couldnt believe this miracle was real. Her mother was over the moon. Faith upgraded herself and the baby to a private room, thank goodness for her savings and the interest it had earned, so she could stay home with her son as long as she liked.
That first evening, as she lay resting while her baby slept peacefully, there was a commotion in the corridorurgent voices, doors banging, wheels clattering down the floor. Later, it died down and sleep overwhelmed her. She awoke with a start the next morning, panicking that her son hadnt made a sound all night, but when she checked on him, he was sleeping soundly. She sought out a nurse, worried that something was wrong.
Its fine,” snapped the nurse, Just make sure you feed him and change his nappy. Youll work it out.
Faith thought the staff a bit brusquenot offering much practical advice. Maybe they assumed any woman her age must be a seasoned mum, not a first-timer.
Has something happened? she asked hesitantly.
“Didnt you hear?” the nurse muttered. “A mother didnt make it last nighttraffic accident, brought her in too late. Saved the little girl, but lost the mum. The dad died on the spot. Little ones an orphan now. The police will be round, its been chaos.”
Faith nodded and hurried back to her peaceful little boy.
She was actually scared to pick him up, but when she finally gathered him into her arms, she felt tears come as he squirmed and blinked up at her. My darling, she whispered, youre beautiful lets have a feed.
Afterwards, when the doctor popped in for routine checks, she marvelled at Faith. “You know, its rare for mums your age to have such a supply of milkyour little fella is a lucky one! But you must express after each feed, so you dont get engorged.”
Faith promised, but despite her efforts it just wasnt working. She tried again, failed, and found her way back to the doctor.
“Not everyone can do it by hand,” the doctor said, then paused. You could try a pumpor she hesitated, looking up at Faith, its also possible to feed another baby. Youve got enough milk for two. Its up to you, thoughits quite a big thing, feeding another womans child.
But what if I cant do either? Faith asked, desperate for her son not to miss out on a proper start.
Its the right thing to try, the doctor said. There is a little girl herethe orphanshe hasnt been fed yet. If youre willing, well bring her to you for feeds.
Faiths heart wobbled, but she nodded. She was a bit scared, truth be told, but the need to do something good for someone else, even in her own turbulence, seemed right.
When they brought the baby girl, Faith was so gentle, struck by how lovely she was. She thought the girl looked like her own boyperhaps all newborns do. The baby girl nursed hungrily, and when they took her away, Faith thought, How amazing it would be to have both a son and a daughter. But she pushed that away, grateful enough for her one precious son, and thanked her lucky stars.
Time for discharge came. Faith, whod already named her boy George, felt wonderfulstrong, ready, excited to begin this new life. When she saw the little girl for one last feed, she inquired, What will happen to her?
“Most likely, shell go to care,” the nurse replied, eyes downcast.
Faith sighed, Id take her in a heartbeat if I could
“Actually, it has happened before,” the nurse said, “Its all down to paperwork, but its possible sometimes.
The next day, Faith asked the doctor, Dr Watson, is there any chance at all I could adopt that little girlthe orphan?
Unfortunately, you cant, Dr Watson replied. Shes got a grandfather whos arranging guardianship for her. Shell go to family.
Faith nodded. Well, thats good. I was just worried about her.
Back home, everything was readyher mum had prepared a nursery, laid a celebratory table, and a handful of Faith’s oldest friends called in.
Faith had missed that little flatdespite the memories of Nick, which still pinched her heart whenever she thought of him.
When the guests had gone and her mumwhod moved in for now to helpwas having a nap, the doorbell rang. At the door stood a middle-aged man, a deep sadness on his face.
“Hello, Ms Faith Carter, Im Alfred… Jameson,” he stammered. “The hospital gave me your addressI begged them for it, please forgive me.”
“Come on in, Faith said gently, showing him into the kitchen.
“Ms Carter, are you married?” He came right out with it.
“Divorced. May I ask why?”
“They told me at the hospital you breastfed my granddaughter. I cant thank you enough, but I have a favour to ask. Would you be able to keep feeding her?”
“How on earth would that work?” Faith was taken aback.
“Its odd, I know, but what if you came to stay in my home with your son? Ive already hired a nanny for my granddaughterno one would expect any more from you than to feed her. Shes all Ive got left. The doctors say she must have breastmilk to stay strong. The nanny could help with your George, too.”
“I cant just move in with a stranger,” Faith said, bewildered. “It sounds mad. Ive already spent half a year in hospital.”
“Please,” Alfred pleaded, “it’s a large house with plenty of space, you wont want for anything. If you prefer, I could send a car to bring you to us three times a day, but its an hour each way. I will make sure you are compensated and comfortable”
Faith hesitated. “No, Im sorry. I cantI just cant,” she said, her voice full of regret.
Alfred nodded, leaving a business card on the table. “If you change your mind, please ring me.”
When he left, Faiths mum appeared. Ooh, what nerve! she muttered, having clearly listened in.
But Mum, my heart aches for that little girl, Faith wiped away a tear. Id have adopted her if Id been allowed
Her mum hugged her. No use getting upsetthink about your own lad, or your milkll dry up!
Then something inside Faith stirred. Mum, what if I say yes? Its not forevera few months at the most, provided you come too.
Her mum threw up her hands. Honestly, no matter how old you get, youll always be my little girl! If its what you want, Ill be with you every step.
Faith called Alfred, laid out her terms, and he agreed on the spot. Within a couple of hours, Faith was holding little Millie in her arms again.
She was struck once more at how Millie and George looked as though they could be siblings.
Alfreds house suited Faithno pretension, just space and warmth.
One afternoon, while the babies napped and her mum popped home to water her plants, Faith browsed through a family album she found on the table. On the last page, her breath caughta photo of her ex-husband, Nick, with a beaming, strikingly young womanAlfreds daughter.
Suddenly Alfred came in and saw what she was looking at.
“Didnt mean to startle you, Faith. Missing home are youdigging through our photos?
Who is this? she asked, pointing at the photo.
“Claramy daughter. Millies mother. I never liked her being with Nick; I said as much. They wouldnt listen. Worse, he was married when they metdivorced later, told Clara having children was his lifes aim… Then the worst happened, and now all I have left is Millie. Funny how life works out.”
Faith went quiet, her words stumbling out, “So George and Millie they’re siblings?”
Alfred stared in shock. Faith spilled the whole story.
He squeezed her hand, saying, I admire you so much, Faith. Youre remarkable. Nick spoke warmly of youyou blessed them both, even when youd every right not to.
Tears sprang to Faiths eyes. I didnt even know Nick had died. She whispered, But life is what it is, and I wish peace on them both.
A year slipped gently by, with Faith and George settled in Alfreds home. Then, one sunny morning, Alfred shyly knocked on Faiths door and sat on her bed, holding a basket of snowdrops.
Faith, you probably know what Im about to say The children are growing, and soon theyll realise Dont you think its time we married, made a real family for them both?
Faith smiled. I wondered when youd ask! Yes, we all deserve happiness.
Alfred pulled a ring from his pocket and slid it onto her finger.
Its terribly old-fashioned, but I want you to knowyou’re spoken for now. You wouldnt believe how often men turn to look at you.
Faith laughed, Me, at my age?
Age is in the mind, Faith. Youre the youngest, most beautiful, happiest mum I know. And I love you.
“I love you, too.”
So, a new chapter began in that housefull of laughter, warmth, and fresh starts. And Faiths mum was the proudest grandmother of two at once.
Happiness, it seems, does come to those who keep their hearts open and ready to receive it.
