The Other Woman Comes Knocking — I’m Lara, we work together. We love each other, and you’re in the way! Hand over Pete! — How am I in your way? — asked Svetlana Anne, genuinely surprised. — Give me some facts! — Well… — the woman faltered. — He won’t leave you! Uncle Peter, are you daft? These genius words were spoken by young Simon in Vera Panova’s novella, after adult Uncle Peter offered him a sweet—only for the wrapper to be empty… And honestly, he was daft. Like the old British saying: “No need for a therapist, just a daft old fool!” Svetlana Anne said the same thing to her husband. Not after his new lady turned up in their home—even that, as a wife, she could swallow!—but a little later. So, it turned out her Peter, Pete the Cockeral with his golden crest, whom she’d been with for so many years, had found himself a sweetheart. And she didn’t just show up—she came demanding: “We love each other. Give me your husband!” By then, Svetiya had begun to suspect! Peter started shaving every day—instead of every other day. Bought a new cologne and even ironed creases into his jeans. Svetiya didn’t want to disappoint her husband; she thought, serves him right. And off he went into the night, smelling like some pungent imported nonsense—he’d been assigned night duty! Yes, him—a middle manager! — You see, darling,— her husband explained over supper,— our building firm’s a small operation, and our security guard quit! Plus, we have no budget! So now we each take turns sleeping in the office to ward off burglars. I’d happily stay home—there’s not even a proper bed at work! — But how will you last all night? Sitting up?— Svetiya asked, in her best village accent. Peter grimaced—how could anyone talk like that? “Sitting up”—what in the world? It’s an old participle, but as a college Russian teacher, Svetlana Anne knew it well—unlike her husband. She already sensed that her husband was lying. Something was rotten in the state of Denmark. They’d been married almost twenty years. Their daughter lived elsewhere. And now, most likely, her husband had a bit on the side. That happens—he fell in love, just admit it and go. The flat was Svetlana Anne’s from before the marriage. If it ends, it ends! Midlife madness, and all that. But Peter was in no hurry to confess. Why? Did he still love her? Think the other woman was just a fling? But one fact remained: her husband stayed at home as if nothing had changed! Even fulfilled his marital duties. Apart from a few hints, Svetiya had no proof of an affair. Maybe she was imagining things? The cologne! The pressed jeans! Svetiya was about to let these quirks slide, but then she showed up—the scheming home-wrecker “Rachel Zane.” Pete wasn’t home. Svetiya was cleaning their two-bed flat. Then—the knock: “Hello there!” Trusting Svetiya, like a scene from her favourite film, let her in: maybe she’s here for something important! Turned out later, her husband’s “love” was five years younger than Svetiya but looked about forty. And “Rachel” presented her case: — I’m Lara, we work together. We love each other and you’re in the way! Hand me Pete! — How am I stopping you?— asked Svetlana Anne, honestly surprised.— Give me facts! — Well…— stammered the woman.— He won’t leave you! — That’s because he doesn’t want to leave me! I’d happily pack his bags for you right now!— Svetiya suggested.— What did he tell you? Probably that I’m dying and he can’t abandon me? — Well, not exactly dying,— said the visitor awkwardly.— But close. Truth be told, she hadn’t discussed it with Peter! And they barely spoke at all: everything about the supposed affair was just in her own imagination… But Svetiya didn’t know that. — But you can see now I’m perfectly fine! So feel free to take Pete—no complaints: I’m filing for divorce tomorrow! And for you—best of luck, happiness, and love!— smiled the wife to her guest. — Really?— said the visitor, delighted.— You’re so positive! Honestly, I wasn’t expecting this. I was prepared for the worst! “You don’t know how positive I can be!” thought Svetiya, still smiling, but out loud she said: — Of course! Peter and I have a very trusting relationship. We respect each other. So I’ll pass this on to him, and you can go in peace! It sounded like: “Rest in peace, dear.” But her rival, delighted and triumphant, didn’t notice. — Well, tell him I’m waiting for him tonight, packed and ready!— said Lara, flashing a victorious grin—she’d “defeated” her opponent!— and skipped off towards her “happiness.” — Absolutely, dear!— replied the Russian teacher.— Wait for him! When Peter got home from work, he found a lonely suitcase packed in the hallway: Pete didn’t actually own much—what you pay for is what you get! From his look, Svetiya realised he had absolutely no idea. He showed no nerves, kissed his wife as usual, and asked: — Svetiya, what’s for dinner? And why is there a suitcase in the hall? Are you going somewhere? — Your girlfriend was here!— started Svetiya, no frills or fuss. — Who, my girlfriend?— Pete was honestly baffled. — You know, the security lady you’re supposedly working night shifts with—to protect the company stuff! Pete blushed and quietly asked: — Lara, you mean? I’ve never done a night shift with her! — Are there others besides Lara? Turns out you’re a real playboy in your golden years! — It’s not what you think,— the man began. — What do I think? Go on—guess, Mr Mind-Reader! Well? Will you say nothing happened or that she came of her own accord? — I won’t say!— Pete sniffled.— It happened, but only once! Remember when I came home drunk? That’s when! But I didn’t mean to—it was an accident! She overpowered me—it was instinct! So… — I get it, Pete—love takes over, you can’t escape! As Polygraph Sharikov said—youthful stuff! Don’t be embarrassed—I understand. By the way, it’s all sorted. Lara’s waiting: I agreed you’d go with her! — Go where?— Pete’s face fell. Lara was a recent arrival, living in a rented room. “Why go?” — Because you shouldn’t hide your feelings, Pete! I can see it in your eyes! So off you go—fair winds and good luck! — But I don’t want to!— Pete protested; it was true, he didn’t! — Is it just that she sweats a lot?— Svetiya teased. “Hot to sleep?” His wife’s colleague was indeed a big lady—and during the conversation kept dabbing sweat from her upper lip with an embroidered handkerchief. Pete was silent and lost. And with Lara, it really had only happened drunk, one time at the office party. No love in the equation. But she started stalking him. And the wife pieced the whole story together. If only you knew, dear readers, how many women in British asylums once believed themselves Maureen McGovern’s fiancée! Countless—far more than you could think. Even now, there are plenty of oddballs—there must be dozens of Peters in Brazil… Otherwise perfectly normal people—just a bit unhinged when obsessed. Today, luckily, Lara took time off—she was preparing for a big talk. And Pete could breathe easy: it was so embarrassing for the small team. “Peter, try some of my pancakes—I made them myself! Clearly, your wife’s not feeding you!” “How was your weekend? Want to talk about it?” “Oh, you were in my dreams last night! Want to know what we did together?” “What a fool I’ve been!” thought sad Pete. “Imagine getting myself into this mess! Might have to quit my job!” He’d regretted giving in to a moment of weakness a hundred times. Who could’ve guessed Lara was so unstable? — Fine,— the wife relented,— say you’re telling the truth, Casanova. What about us? Am I supposed to get into bed with you after all this? — I’ll sleep on the sofa!— the guilty husband said eagerly. He’d have slept on the hallway floor if only Svetiya wouldn’t kick him out. And she agreed—they’d see how things went. Next day was Saturday—Lara showed up first thing: “So, are we off? I get it; you couldn’t yesterday!” When Peter opened the door, he was stunned: how bad could things get? He tried to reason with the elated woman: mania is no joke. — Rachel Victoria, dear,— Lara tensed at those words.— Go home! Careful, it’s slippery out! — And you?— asked the colleague. — I’m staying here!— Pete announced, trying to sound firm.— With my wife! — But we love each other!— the woman insisted. — It’s all in your head! Nothing happened, NOTHING!— Pete said, knowing it wasn’t true. But try and prove otherwise! So what if they had left together once? Maybe they parted ways immediately after? And everyone at the small company knew Lara had a screw loose. Pete was sticking to his story. Lara stood silently, staring at the object of her passion. Things were meant to work out! His wife had let him go! Why not? — Goodbye!— said Peter and closed the door. At that point, his wife finally quoted the classic line from Vera Panova about Uncle Pete—and it fit the moment perfectly. Pete didn’t even open his mouth. Silence speaks louder than words… Lara lingered by the closed door: maybe he’d change his mind? Then trudged away: another defeat? Unfortunately, Pete wasn’t her first victim: two other colleagues had already quit because of Lara’s harassment. With them, there hadn’t even been an affair! By Monday, Rachel didn’t show for work—unexpectedly quit. Maybe three failed romances were enough to start hunting for love in another company. Perhaps she wasn’t so crazy after all… Peter breathed a sigh of relief—he’d even considered quitting. Thank goodness she hadn’t gotten pregnant… Kind-hearted Svetiya forgave her husband. Yes, he’d been unfaithful once, and drunkenly! But the rest was true! It turned out the men at the building firm really were taking turns guarding the office—cheapskate management skimped on security! The new cologne and pressed jeans were a red herring. Just a coincidence—such is luck! Maybe the fault lay with Mercury retrograde and the magnetic storms—at least there was someone to blame! So, what’s to conclude? Don’t get drunk at office parties, lads! Love can truly be toxic. In our day and age, there’s plenty of it. Thank goodness she didn’t try blackmail. And you can’t blame everything on Mercury forever…

Author John SmithReading 10 minViews 5Published by January 22, 2026

The Other Woman Came for His Belongings

Im Laura. We work together and were in love, you see. Youre just getting in the way! Hand Peter over to me!
And how exactly am I in your way? asked Susan, genuinely taken aback. Come on, give me some examples!
Well Laura hesitated. He refuses to leave you!

Uncle Peter, are you daft?
Those memorable words were uttered by little Sam in a novel by Vera Panova after Uncle Peter offered him a sweet the pretty wrapper turned out to be totally empty.

And yes, daft seems about right. Like one of those stand-up comedians says, No mental illnessjust plain daft!

Susan told her husband something similar, but not immediately after his mistress appeared in their homeshe even managed to swallow that insult. It was a little later.

Her Peter Evansthe golden boy shed been with for so many yearshad found himself a flame.

And this new woman wasnt shy. She arrived with demands: Were in love, let me have your husband!

Susan had begun to suspect something. Peter started shaving every day, never skipping like before. He bought a new cologne and even ironed his jeans with a crease.

Susan kept quiet, bitterly amused that her husband had brought this on himself. Radiating a cloud of imported cologne, he slipped out in the evening, claiming he had to work the night shift.

He was just a middle manager.

You see, darling, Peter explained enthusiastically over dinner, were a tiny construction firm, and the night watchman was let go. The bosses are tight-fisted!

So now, they took turns spending the night at the office to keep out burglars. He moaned about it, saying hed much rather be sleeping at homethough there wasnt really anywhere comfy to rest.

And howll you spend the night? Standing, or what? Susan asked with a country twang.

Peter winced at her speech. Standingwhat do you mean?
Its an old participleit means while sitting, but her college teaching job ensured Susan knew her grammar.

Susan realised her husband was lying. Something was rotten in the state of Denmark.

Theyd been married nearly twenty years; their grown-up daughter lived on her own. Now, Peter, she suspected, had found a lover.

Fair enoughif hes fallen for someone else, just admit it and go: the flat was Susans before their marriage.

Things happenmen behave foolishly sometimes. But Peter didnt want to come clean. Did he still love Susan? Did he think his new relationship was unserious?

The truth was, Peter carried on as if nothing was wrong, fulfilling all marital duties.

Except for these hints of betrayal, Susan had no hard evidence.

Perhaps it was her imagination? The new aftershave, the crisply ironed jeans. Susan almost decided to ignore these quirks, but then she appearedcunning, brazen Laura Martin.

Peter wasnt home. Susan was dusting the flat. SuddenlyLaura landed, barking her strange greeting.

Susan, ever the trusting one, let her injust in case she had a genuine reason to visit.

Later, it emerged Peters love interest was five years younger than Susan, but looked closer to forty.

Laura declared again, Im Laura. We work together and were in love. Youre interfering! Hand Peter over.

And how am I interfering? Susan objected honestly. Be specific!

Well Laura faltered. He just wont leave you!

So hes not willing to leave. Thats up to him! Honestly, Ill pack his bags myself! Susan shot back. Whats he told you? That Im on my deathbed and he cant desert me?

Well, not quite dying, Laura mumbled, but close.

Truthfully, she hadnt discussed it with Peter at allthey barely spoke, and everything except the random affair was pure fantasy.

But Susan didnt know that.

So, as you can see, Im fine! You can have Peteyno complaints. Im filing for divorce tomorrow! Susan said cheerfully.

I mean it! Laura beamed. Youre so positive! Honestly, I was expecting fireworks!

You havent seen anything yet, thought Susan, her smile unfaltering. Aloud, she added, Peter and I are quite open with each other. We respect one another. Ill let him know, but you go along now.

It sounded much like Rest in peace, but Laura, high on triumph, missed the undertone.

Well, tell him Ill expect him tonight, with his things! she crowed, flashing Susan a victorious smileshed won, she thought.

Absolutely, dear! Susan replied brightly. You wait!

When Peter came home that evening, a lonely suitcase waited by the door. He didnt own much for Susan to packfair enough!

By his baffled look, Susan knew Peter had no idea.

He didnt seem upset at all and simply kissed Susan as usual before asking, Susie, whats for dinner? And why is there a suitcase in the hallway? Are you going somewhere?

She came round today! Susan declared bluntly.

Who? Peter blinked.

That womanthe night shift! The one youre keeping thieves away with!

Peter blushed and whispered, Laura? Ive never worked nights with her!

You mean theres someone else besides Laura? Looks like youre a Casanova in your golden years!

Thats not what you think, Peter began.

Oh? What do I think? Go onread my mind! Bet youre about to say theres nothing between you, or that she barged in!

Peter sniffed. I wont say that. There was something, but only once! Do you remember that office do when I came home a bit drunk? Well, that was it. I didnt want to! Honestly, Susie. She forced herself on me! It was an instinct, I suppose. And so

I understand, Peterlove takes hold, doesnt it? And as Polygraph Sharikov said, young blood! Dont worryI get it. Anyway, its all sorted. Lauras waitingyoure free to go!

Go where? Peter turned paleLaura was from out of town, renting a room somewhere. Why should I go?

Because feelings shouldnt be hidden, Peter! You cant fool me! So off you popfair wind to you!

But I dont want to! he muttered stubbornly.

Is she a bit too sweaty? Susan teased. Is it too hot for you at night?

Peters colleague was definitely on the heavy side, always dabbing her upper lip with an embroidered handkerchief.

Peter said nothing, lost for words. His drunken one-off with Laura had led to this entire mess. There was never any love.

Laura haunted him after that, and the womans mind worked up a crazy logical chain.

If only you knew, folks, how many self-proclaimed fiancées haunted British celebrities fan clubs. Numbers beyond counting. Some people seem totally normaluntil a certain topic sets them off

Laura, fortunately, had taken the day off for her showdownwhich helped Peter avoid embarrassment in front of his office mates.

Peter, have a pancakehomemade! Your wife clearly starves you!

How was your weekend? Fancy a chat?

You know, I dreamt about you last night! Want to know what we did?

Oh, what a fool Ive been, thought Peter. How could I get myself into this mess? I may have to resign.

He regretted his lapse a hundred times. Who knew Laura would turn out so obsessed?

Alright, Susan relented, suppose youre telling the truth, Casanova. How do you imagine things now? Do you expect me to share a bed with you after all this?

Ill sleep on the sofa! he declared at once. He would have slept on the mat by the door, if it meant Susan would let him stay. She decided to let things be for now.

Saturday arrived. Laura turned up early, ready to move Peter out.

Peter opened the door and immediately felt uneasy.

He tried to reach Laura, who was clearly in a manic mood.

Laura Martin, he said gently. She stiffened at the formal toneshe sensed a change. Go home now. Take carethe pavements slippery.

And you? she asked, surprised.

Im staying! Peter replied, forcing his best stern voice. With my wife.

But were in love! Laura argued.

Thats all in your imagination! Peter said. He knew the truthbut how to prove it?

Who cares theyd left the party together? Perhaps they went separate ways at once.

Everyone in their small company knew Laura was a bit unhinged.

Peter stuck to his version.

Lauras thoughts spun, her eyes glued to her true love. His wife had already let him go, so why not?

Goodbye, then! said Peter, closing the door.

And thats when Susan uttered that famous line from Vera Panova: Uncle Peter, are you daft? It fit the situation perfectly. Peter didnt say a word. Silence can mean many things

Laura waited a moment, staring at the door. Maybe Peter would change his mind? Then she shuffled awayperhaps it had failed here, too.

Peter wasnt the only one targeted: two others had resigned before him, driven crazy by Lauras attentioneven though nothing ever happened between them.

By Monday, Laura unexpectedly quit. Perhaps three failed attempts were enoughshe was set to find love elsewhere. Maybe she wasnt truly mad after all.

Peter breathed a sigh of reliefhed even been worried shed claim a pregnancy!

Kind-hearted Susan forgave him. Yes, hed cheated once under the influence, but everything else hed said was true!

Later, it turned out the men in the organization really did take turns sleeping in the company officea thrifty boss had decided burglar alarms were too costly. Peters new cologne and pressed jeans had been mere coincidences.

Just the way the cards fell! Perhaps its all down to Mercury being retrograde or the magnetic fieldsnice to have something to blame.

Whats the lesson here? Dont drink too much at office parties.

Because love can turn toxic, and theres plenty of that to go around nowadays. At least there was no blackmail.

In the end, you cant blame everything on Mercury. Sometimes, real life is stranger than fiction, and you must learn to face itdaft moments and all.