When I was meeting girls online, I always made it clear that I wanted a serious relationship. By the time I met Alice, I was twenty-six and completely prepared for marriage and starting a family. I had pounds in the bank, ambition, and options. She was quite young, but her life hadnt gone the way she hoped. Her family was struggling financially, she got evicted from her halls of residence for not paying, and she wasnt happy at university. She wanted to marry me, just to have a better life.
I was smitten because she was not only lovely to look at but charming and funny, and she understood my quirky sense of humour. I promised her that wed get married soon, and in the meantime, we tried for a child. Six months of effort passed with nothing to show for it, except at work, I met the beautiful and mature Katherine, who was older than me and had a three-year-old daughter. At first, I spent time with them simply because I wanted to be around childrenIve always loved kidsand then somehow, the thought crept in that this was the perfect family for me.
I left Alice, telling her I was in love. I didnt love Katherine as much, but I hoped Id just get used to her eventually. Life felt good; I became a dad, we had twins, and for eight glorious years, I was over the moon. Then, one day at the school gate, fate twisted things: I was picking up my daughter, and there was Alice, with a seven-year-old boy at her side. The lad looked uncannily like me.
Alice didnt deny itit was my child. Shed known about the pregnancy when I left her, but deliberately kept it from me. She raised his son alone and makes her own living. She is fiercely independent and doesnt need my help or my apologies. She never gave me her address or phone number. Im torn, but mostly angry. I was foolish, blinded by my idea of family, and traded love for someone elses child, but how could Alice not stop me when she knew she was carrying my son?
Id never have left if Id known, and our lives would have followed a whole different path. Id have raised my son from birth, but now? Alice wont talk to me, and Im unsure if I should try to catch up on lost time, especially since Katherine and I are happy, and the twins are still so young Yet I regret the way things unfolded. It feels like all that could have been has slipped away, like waking from a strange, hazy dream where all the impossible choices made perfect sense until morning broke.
