No One Will Babysit
Mum, I just cant do this anymore, you know? Alice pressed her mobile to her ear with her shoulder while carefully placing her sleeping baby into the cot. He hasnt slept for three nights in a row. I feel so dizzy Im scared Ill drop him. Pleasejust come for a couple of hours so I can get some sleep.
Alice, dont start, her mother snapped back. Youre not the first to have a baby, and you wont be the last. Every child keeps you up.
We didnt have nappies or washing machines back in my day, and we got by. Raised you lot just fine!
Whats that got to do with anything? Alice pleaded. Im just asking for your help. Youve retired now, youve got lots of time.
Ive got time for a well-earned rest, darling. Your father and I worked ourselves silly. No one helped usgrandparents dropped by only at Christmas.
You had the child; you handle it. Your choice, your responsibility. Just put him down and go to sleep as well. Its not rocket science.
Thats it, my shows starting, well catch up tomorrow.
The call ended abruptly with the cheerful tune of Coronation Street coming from her mums side.
***
Alice and James had dated for two years before quietly signing the marriage registry, not wanting to splash out on a big wedding. They rented a small flat at the edge of a northern English town. Alice fell pregnant almost straight away.
Dyou think theyll be happy? Alice asked, stroking her still-flat tummy. Were the first grandchild both sides will have. Im Mums only one, and youre your parents only child.
James smiled and hugged her close.
Of course they will, Al. Come on, lets have tea. Well tell them tomorrow.
The next morning they set off to share the news. First came Alices parents.
Mum, Dadweve got something to tell you, Alice beamed. Youre going to be grandparents soon. A little grandson or granddaughter.
Her mum shrugged. Well, such is life. It had to happen sometime.
Just make sure you get proper maternity pay, Alice. You are working right up to the end, arent you?
I suppose so Alice faltered. Arent you happy?
We are, her dad grunted, eyes glued to the football match. But its difficult these days.
Youre only renting, your cars on finance
Oh well. Once the babys here, youll manage.
Jamess parents, too, delivered a similar reaction. His mum, Mrs Harris, even gave Alice a careful look up and down.
Being pregnants not an illness, she announced. And dont spoil the childJames was always trying to wriggle out of things as a boy.
But, congratulations and all that. Well wait and see.
Alice put it down to the older generations stiff upper lip. Not everyone, she told herself, jumps for joy. At least they werent against it.
***
As Alices due date crept closer, James took on every shift he could find, coming home exhausted but carrying home either a packet of nappies or a new baby vest. The parents eventually got involved.
Weve talked things over, Alices mum declared on the phone. Well get you a cot. Just a plain wooden one, nothing fancy.
No need for extravagancehell outgrow it in two years.
Thank you, Mum! Alice said, genuinely touched.
A week later, Jamess mum rang.
Alice, I got you a present at the shop. Pop by and collect it.
When they called around, they found a bright blue plastic potty on the hall table. The cheapest sort imaginable.
There, Mrs Harris smiled. Youll need it. Sturdy little thing.
Alice blinked at James, thrown.
Ermthank you, Mrs Harris. But were months off needing that. Maybe something for taking him home, or muslins?
Youll buy your own for thatyour taste is odd. The pottys practical; youll use it in the end, whats the hold-up?
On the way home Alice vented.
Is that a joke? A potty for a newborn? She cant be serious.
Dont fret, Al. Shes just like that. Sensibleput it all into the house. Doesnt matter. At least well have a cot.
***
The hospital discharge was a brisk affair. The parents arrived, handed over bouquets, and snapped a quick photo out front. Freddie, their baby boy, squirmed sleepily in the car seat.
Oh, look at his nose, Alices mum said, barely glancing. Off you go then! Weve godda get to the allotment, tomatoes wont wait.
Wont you come for tea? Alice whispered, clutching Freddie tighter. Just to see him
Well see enough of him, Alice, Mrs Harris cut in. You need to get used to things yourselves. Wed only get in the way. Rest up.
They drove off, and Alice stood at the blocks entrance, staring after the cars, feeling like shed just been dropped on a deserted island.
The first two weeks passed in a fog. Freddie mixed day and night, James left at seven and returned at nine exhausted.
Alice was like a hamster on a wheellaundry, feeding, attempting dinner, tidying Her back ached constantly, and in the mirror, a pale woman with dark circles stared back.
Calls from their mothers came twice a week.
Hello, hows Freddie? asked Mrs Harris.
Its hard, Mrs Harris. Hes got wind and cries all the time. I barely get any sleep.
Well, love, motherhoods tough. Persevere. Stick to a routine. Must dash, my nails are being done.
Her own mum chimed in:
Everything fine? Good! Right, bye then. Off to the allotment.
***
Saturday finally arrived, Jamess only day off. He took Freddie, and Alice finally got to have a bath instead of a rushed shower.
Soaking in the water, she criedhelplessly. All her friends, in the early months, or even years, had help from their parents. Why was she so different?
After the bath, she headed for the bedroom. James followed.
Al, I was thinking Lets invite them over tomorrowboth mums. Have a proper chat. Maybe they just dont realise how hard it is for us?
Ive tried, James. Mum just said You had the baby, you look after him.
Maybe if we both ask, theyll give in? Make it clear its not things we need, but help.
Alice pondered, then agreed. After changing, she called both mothers.
Sunday lunch was tense. Alice baked a pie, hands trembling with fatigue.
The mums arrived together, bringing appleseach bringing exactly four, as though by arrangement.
Cramped in here, isnt it, Alices mother remarked, sitting down. Alice, when did you last dust on top of the wardrobe?
I dont have time for dusting, Mum. I only manage three hours sleep a night.
Poor time management, Mrs Harris declared. James, why dont you help your wife?
Im working two jobs if youve forgotten, Mum. Paying for this flat and feeding Alice and Freddie.
Everyone works, Mrs Harris shrugged. Sowhat did you want us for?
Alice took a deep breath, folding her hands.
Mums, we really need some help. Not money or presentsactual help. A plan. Maybe, say, two hours a couple of times a week? One of you could come round, take Freddie out, and I could sleep or just get things done. Were really struggling.
The grandmothers exchanged glances.
Alice, her mum began, Weve talked about this. Ive done my bit.
I raised you in the nineties, when things were dire, and we did laundry by hand. No one came to help me! Why should I give up my own plans now? Ive got my swimming, my friends, the allotment
Hes your only grandchild! Alice cried. Dont you want to see him smile? Watch him grow?
Well see him when hes older, when we can have a proper chat, Mrs Harris said. Right now? All he does is eat and cry.
Youre the parents; its your job. We raised ours, and no one helped us.
So if you struggled, I have to struggle too? Alice bristled. Is that how it works? Pass on the torch of misery?
Dont be rude, her mum said curtly. We bought you the cot, didnt we? Came to see you after the birth?
What more do you wantmove in?
I just want you to be grandmothers!
James placed a hand gently on Alices shoulder.
Mum, Mrs Parker, are you serious? Dont you care at all? Were not strangers
James, thats enough, said Mrs Harris, standing up. We love you both, but weve got our own lives. You wanted to be grown-ups. Be them. If theres ever an emergencygive us a ring. Otherwise, youll cope.
Right, Barbara, she said to Alices mum, lets go, or well miss the bus.
The mothers departed, leaving Alice staring at the untouched pie.
Al James sat beside her. Let it go. Well do it alone.
Yeah, she replied quietly. You know what scares me most? One day theyll be old, and need help. Bedpans, medicine, someone to talk to What will I say? I did my bit raising my son, now Ive got swimming?
We wont be like them, James said firmly. Promise.
***
The months rolled by. Freddie grew, crawled, then took his first steps. Alice gave up calling her mum for sympathy.
In fact, she stopped calling first altogether. Their talks became brief:
How are you?
Fine.
Hows Freddie?
Growing.
Bye, then.
Bye.
When Freddie turned one and a half, Alices mum phoned one Saturday morning.
Alice, your dad and I were thinking Why not bring Freddie to ours for the weekend? Weathers lovely, were at the cottagefresh air!
Alice looked at Freddie stacking blocks.
No, Mum. We wont bring him.
Why not? We miss him.
Do you? Do you even know his routine? What he likes to eat? His favourite bedtime story? You last saw him three months ago, when we visited you for half an hour.
So what? Were parents, well manage!
No, Mum. You wont. Because raising a child is a responsibilityhes not a toy. Its what youve told us for the last year and a half. We had him, so we look after him. Hes ours. Youjust enjoy your well-earned rest.
Alice hung up and sat next to her son. You reap what you sow. Fair enough.
***
These days, Alice and Jamess parents are hurt: Why are we never allowed to see our grandson? Hes old enough nowyou should let us help, take him on weekends, get involved!
But Alice and James see it differently. Their son is their responsibility, and they wont simply hand him over. They learned the hard way that support for one another matters most, and truly caring means being present, not just when its easy, but when its needed most. Thats the lesson theyll carry into the future: to choose kindness and help over old habits.
