– Youre a stone, Davies! Thats what you area cold-hearted boulder! Is there anything human in you at all? Who am I kiddingof course theres not! All you care about is work and money! No one else matters! Not your wife, not children!
– Beth, we dont have children.
– But we could have! All your fault! Id have had them, if I ever felt I could rely on the man beside me! But you? You only ever think of yourself! Ive had enough! Beth threw another silly rag into her suitcase and burst into tears. I loved you! More than anyone! And you
– I did. Love you.
James Davies slammed his fist against the wall of what used to be their bedroom, then walked out.
Truth be told, it hadnt really been a shared bedroom in ages. Beth claimed his snoring was utterly ungodly and banished him to the study.
– Itll be easier for you too, and I can get some sleep. You want me young and beautiful, dont you? And with these bags under my eyes after a night next to you, I look like Ive been sacked by a potato lorry! Ill need half my wage for beauty treatments, James!
The expense on beauticians didnt reduce, but from then on, James slept in his study. After a few miserable nights on an unforgiving leather sofa, he drove out to the shops and bought himself a proper new one. This bed allowed him to stretch to his full considerable height, instead of curling up like when he was a boy and his mother would fuss and say:
– Jamie, why do you curl up like a little croissant? Youll be uncomfortable!
She was wrong. Hed never found a better pose for sleeping. He still curled up, but he liked reading and watching his comedies stretched out. Thats why his bed had to be custom-madethe shops had nothing to fit someone pushing six foot six.
At the shop, the sales assistant gasped:
– My word, youre built like a hero from a legend!
James just blushed, as he always did around pretty women, paid in a hurry, and never even confirmed what colour the bed should be.
Still, the woman made a good choice, and the bed suited his needs.
But now Beth ruled the master bedroom. James had to make do elsewhere. The house wasnt large, but hed designed it for himself before ever dreaming of marriage; there were just two bedrooms, a study, a big sitting room, and a kitchen. The second bedroom had been turned into a guest room and Beth had strictly forbidden his entry, so he was left with the study.
But honestly, neither James nor his cat, Tomkin, minded much. James was tired of the constant barrage of complaints, and the cat simply couldn’t abide Beth.
She had wanted rid of the cat from the day she moved in.
– I cant stand cats! Lets get a dog. A big one!
– What about Tomkin? James looked at the poor feline cowering in the corner, whose gaze towards Beth was frankly threatening.
– Give him away.
– No.
Jamess tone was remarkably calm, but Beth frowned. It was the first time hed dared contradict her. Up till now, everything had been set to her notes. But now? He said no. And over what? A cat? How strange
Beth couldnt have known Tomkin had entered Jamess life just when everything was about to fall apart. His mother had passed away first then his business, once thriving, began crumbling. The vultures who wanted to snatch it away had no scruples. Once, they even ambushed James at his own front door, but lifelong boxing thanks to his mums insistence, saw him safely through.
His mother was his world. Shed called him her little hero, lined up his medals on the mantle, and laughed so joyously that James felt happiness itself shimmering through the home. For that laugh, hed have done anything. He stepped into the ring and grinned fiercely at his opponent, knowing he would soon net another medal to add to his mothers collection, and she would say again:
– Gave birth to a champion! My boy, youre strongjust like your father!
Hed never met his father, whod died as a test pilot. The big portrait of a young airman in the study was all that remained. Yet James always felt his father’s silent presence, his mother retelling precious tales of their short marriage, planting the seed of the sort of family hed yearn forone where people didnt just love but became part of one another, inseparable no matter the distance.
His mum was a beautiful woman, but never remarried. She raised James alone, whispering nightly to a husband long gone:
– Jamies a joy, Ted! Youd be proud! Hes just like yougentle, brave, strong. Thank you
Growing older, James asked if she was lonely, but shed always smile:
– Lonely? How could I be? Ive got you! And men There wont be another like your father, and theres no sense living with someone just for the sake of it. He wasnt made of stone, you know. It was real love.
James heard this and realised there was something he didnt yet grasp about lovesomething more than words or even feelings, something precious hed wait for his whole life.
His mother dreamed of grandchildren. A pair of heart attacks snatched her away before that day came.
All light drained from Jamess world. He drifted through life, as if in a fog, going through the motions but feeling stuck, while the world darkened around him.
It was Tomkin who pulled him out. One day, as he left the Tube, a cheeky, wild-haired girl pressed a wailing kitten into his hands and vanished, flashing a grin that had something of his mother in it. James stood frozen, staring in disbelief, then looked down at a tiny, flea-bitten, needy scrap pawing at his fingers.
Later, hed wonder what might have happened if his car hadnt broken down that day, forcing him into the Tubehe and Tomkin might never have met otherwise.
The name came naturally. Hed loved a film in childhood, about two inseparable friends. His mum claimed he was like Pettydreamy, steady, enduring. But hed always wanted to resemble Tomkinthe daring one, impulsive, bold.
Something in the kittens dark eyes reminded James of his favourite. And so Tomkin he was. Later he became simply Tom, but James always remembered whom his brave little friend was named after. Tom had brought a glimmer of light back into his life, just enough to show him the path beneath his feet again, and James, slowly but surely, moved on.
Within a few years, Tomkin grew into a large, regal tabby, very much like his ownerdignified and mighty. He tolerated little nonsenseuntil Beth arrived.
Beth met James entirely by chance. She was never one for impulsive decisions. Shed noticed the tall, oddly attractive man when he visited the restaurant where she worked as an events manager. She assessed her options and made her calculated move. Shed already had two brief marriages and considered herself experienced, able to give a man what he needed.
James, inexperienced in love, fell straight into her orbit. Delicate, gentle Beth seemed to bring out all his instincts to protect and care.
By precise calculationmaths had always been Beths strengthshe became Mrs Davies in six months, and set about arranging the household.
It wasnt easy, not least because of the cat and the man, who, as it turned out, was a bit of a plodder.
Beth came from a family where her wishes always took centre stage; her parents doted on her. She struggled to adjust to living with anyone else in mind.
First, there was Tomkin.
James refused to part with the cat. Beth soon realised open conflict could only backfire. So, she settled for neglect, forgetting to feed Tom when James was away. Tom for his part would wage a little war: hiding shoes, leaving messes, and incurring Beths wrath. When a pair of new shoes ended up in the bin, Beth brought home a German Shepherd puppy, but Tom won him over too. The puppy adored the catBeth could hardly believe it.
– James, these animals are all wrong! Dogs and cats arent meant to get along!
James only laughed:
– But Beth, isnt it nicer when someone cares for someone else?
Beth huffed but had learned not to argue; James simply walked away from rows and closed the door.
– We can talk when youre calmer.
This infuriated Beth. An emotional woman, shed start an argument at the drop of a hat, then move on just as fast. Her own mother used to shake her head and say:
– Youre like a little vampire, Betha sweet, toothy little one. You torment people, then charm them; never mind that theyre left nursing bruises long after youve moved on. Youre lucky with your husband. Value it.
– Oh, Mum, he should thank his stars I still put up with him! Hes impossible! No feelings at all, cant even argue properly. I need passionhes just calmly indifferent!
– Ah, Beth We never cherish what we have, until weve lost it.
– Not much of a loss!
James, of course, knew none of this. He adored his fragile wife, oblivious to her frustrations, blaming them on unsettled ambitions.
Beth quit her job immediately after the wedding.
– You dont want your wife flashing her smile at your business partners, do you? Have you any respect for me at all, James?
It was, of course, rhetorical.
Beth decided to take a break, and meanwhile tormented their long-suffering cleaner, Mrs. Beattie, and pined.
– Its unbearable, James! Shes daft as a brush! I spend all day pointing out cobwebs in the corners!
– Why bother?
– Because it should be done properly! Has she never learnt, at her age?
– Maybe you could show her how its done?
James said this with genuine puzzlement, but it sent Tomkin fleeing to the garden and staying the night in the dogs kennel.
Beth raged for a week. James shrugged off her outbursts and exchanged sympathetic glances with Mrs. Beattie, who quietly served up hot stew and bread.
– Mr. James, shall I just leave? Beth seems so put out with me.
– I hired you, not Beth, and youll work here as long as you wish. Whats for mains?
– Fishcakes, your favourite. Shall I bring the apple crumble for after?
Mrs. Beattie sighed with relief. She had found sanctuary here and didnt want to lose it. Her little cottage, just behind the main house, was now home, and she doted on little Jamie, as she called him behind his back.
Mrs. Beatties story was plain but sad: widowed with two small children, shed dropped out of college to marry, then focused on husband and home, never learning a trade. To get by, she became a cleaner and washed windows, though heights terrified her. She wanted to give her children what others had, but somewhere, lost something more important. Her children never thanked her.
– Did we ask you to give birth to us? No. That was your choice. So dont start complaining. You owe us, understand?
– Owe you what? She almost sobbed.
– Support. A good start. But what can you offer? Cleaning skills? Please keep your advice to yourself.
Her son moved away and phoned only when he needed something: rare books to sell for a mortgage deposit.
– Why do you want them? You dont even read them. Mrs. Beattie protested.
– Theyre worth money. Ive got a baby coming, I need to get started.
– Married? When?
– Ages ago, Mum. Spare me the questions.
– And the wedding?
– We kept it private. Marions family is proper. Youll meet them later, maybe.
Her daughter had three children by as many partners, always scolding her mother for not helping.
– Mum, theyre your grandchildren! You never give us a penny, or help with the kids!
– I have to work
– Of course! What do you think Im doing?
Mrs. Beattie helped out as she could, but after two marriages, two sons-in-law who made it clear she was not wanted, and being told the flat was too cramped, she had nowhere left.
With her cottage long-since sold for her childrens sakes, she was out of options.
James arrived in her life just when she didnt know where to turn. Her daughter had made it plain she was surplus to requirements. And her daughters new man was intimidating. She was terrified, and knew she needed to leave.
Lost in thought, pushing her granddaughters pram, she stepped into the road just as Jamess car nearly hit her.
Luckily, Jamess reactions saved them; he caught her before she hit her head on the kerb.
James later convinced her not to mention it to her daughter, and asked if there was anything he could do to help.
Thats how Mrs. Beattie became the housekeeper at Jamess. For a week she scrubbed the bachelors den back to order.
– Sorry, Mrs. Beattie. I never have time for tidying.
He smiled apologetically as he polished off her cooking. Soon, his neglected jeans grew too tight: Mrs. Beatties kitchen was his undoing.
He gave her a one-bed flat after five years, insisting she keep it secret and rent it out for her grandkids future.
Beth and Mrs. Beattie never got on. Mrs. Beattie often considered leaving, not wanting to be the cause of rows, but she knew Beth wasnt right for James and cared too much to abandon him completely. After a blow-up one evening over a stray clump of Tomkins hair, Mrs. Beattie gave James a rare motherly pat and said:
– Im ready any time, Jamie.
– No, he replied firmly, No.
When Beth started seeing someone else, Mrs. Beattie guessed quickly and tried not to interfere. James noticed her gloom but didnt press. The truth emerged on a rainy evening when his flight was cancelled and he arrived home to find the lights on in the master bedroom.
He tiptoed in to see Bethonly to see she wasnt alone. He crept into Mrs. Beatties cottage.
– How long?
– I dont know, Jamie. This is the first time shes brought him here.
– Why didnt you tell me?
– I was scared For you. Dont confront her, son, shes not worth ruining yourself for.
James stood a long time at the window before nodding, Not worth it.
That night he sat in Mrs. Beatties tiny kitchen drinking tea with her until dawn.
When the other mans car left at sunrise, James quietly returned to the main house.
The divorce hit him hard. He had loved Beth, as best he knew how. The whole ordeal showed him: people say I love you, but it doesnt always mean they do. Words arent always truth.
He could navigate any business, but had been utterly lost with his own wife.
Darkness returned. This time, neither Tomkin nor Mrs. Beattie could quite pull him out.
He lived on autopilot. Staff at his firm, respecting their boss, tried not to trouble him; the company kept running.
James lived in Mrs. Beatties old flat now, leaving her to care for the house. He slept on the old sofa, Tomkin curled at his feet, so worried he refused food. After a week, Mrs. Beattie rang him from the vets:
– Jamie, its Tomkin. Hes not well
James rushed over and brought Tom home, coaxing him like a child to eat.
– Come on, old chap, have a heart! Ive only got you and Mrs. Beattie left! Digger too, but Beth was threatening to take him. Tom, for goodness sake, dont leave me as well!
Tom finally began to eat again, after weeks of performing as though at deaths door. Even the vet laughed:
– Hes playing a trick on you, Mr. Davies. Hes perfectly finejust anxious for your sake.
– Can that really happen?
– Animals sense, Mr. Davies. Sometimes better than we do; they act on instinct, not reason. Yours knows youre not yourself.
– What should I do?
– Reassure him. Change things. Do something to show him lifes all right.
That was the turning point. James realised he could spend his life mourning dreams lost, or he could tryjust tryfor tomorrow. His cat understood that better than he did.
Mrs. Beattie wasnt surprised when he turned up at the house.
She set out a bowl of homemade soup and asked quietly:
– So, Jamie. What now?
– Well live well, Mrs. Beattie. Well do a proper job. Time we fixed the place up.
He didn’t stop at repairshe rebuilt the whole house. Now, instead of two bedrooms, there were four, and a whole new floor.
– Wonderful, Jamie. Just wonderful! Mrs. Beattie mopped floors and chased Tomkin off the wet paint. Out you go! Youre filthy!
With the house sorted, James went back to the furniture shop for a new bed.
– Hello again!
The red-haired woman lit up with a smile; James tried to recall where hed seen her before.
– Another bed? Not running off again without giving your name this time, I hope. Last time, I had to guess. Alex?
– Why do you say that?
– Youre not a Benyoure not the type to lounge about. Not a John, either. Too rare these days. Alexander?
– James, actually. My mother was wonderful.
James first daughter would bear her name: Mary. His wife wouldnt object.
– Mary Its a lovely name, Jamie. And if we have a son?
– What about him?
– What shall we name him?
James would nuzzle his loving partners curls as he cradled their sleeping baby girl, watching contentment shimmer through their home once more, banishing the dark corners, brightening the hearts of all who lived there.
Tomkin would stretch, nuzzle his owners legs, tap gently at the babys crib and curl up by her side. Because happiness, after all, needs guarding. Its capricious, quick; catch it if you can, and when you have it, cling on tight. For happiness is found where you are needed, cherished just as you areand where someones love puts you first.
