Paper House
Hurry up, Ellie, were going to be late!
Im coming, Dad! Ellie hopped on one foot, yanking on her sock.
Her socks were funnyone bright pink, the other a bold green. Her Aunt Martha had given her the pair, along with mismatched trainers. Martha said it was all the rage now.
Ellie believed her aunt. Martha was quite the trendsetter, known for saying, If Mother Nature didnt gift you with beauty, make up for it in style.
Ellie disagreed with her aunt on that score. So what if Martha wasnt a model by todays standards? Tall, skinny as a whippet, with dark hair and slate grey eyes, Martha was so striking that Ellie couldnt help but laugh as people glanced their way on the High Street.
Nobody notices you, do they! Ellie would tease as necks craned.
Who? Martha would stop, then swivel her head, searching for these admirers.
Ellie would laugh, truly laugh, at these moments. At heart, Martha was still a child; Ellie, though younger, sometimes felt more grown up herself.
Marthas innocence astonished her.
He told me he likes me! Ellie, Ive no idea what to do!
Do you like him?
Oh, very! But Im scared of him.
Whys that?
Hes far too handsome. All the girls at work chase after him. I cant understand why he looks twice at me. Its mad!
Martha, youre not ridiculous. Youre a lovely, clever woman! Why shouldnt someone fancy you?
It was a rhetorical question. However much Ellie tried to chip away at Marthas armour of self-doubt, she had little success. Sometimes, it made her furiousnearly drove her to tears.
Love, it takes more than good counsel to unlearn whats been drummed in over the years, her dad, Philip, would say, shaking his head consolingly at his teenage daughter.
Drummed in by whom, Dadand to what end? Why turn a pretty girl into a bag of nerves? Thats not anything youve ever taught me!
I didnt raise you like that, Philip agreed. But Martha had… strong teachers.
You mean Gran. Why dont you ever just say it?
What would you like me to say, Ellie? That my own mother brought up her daughter wrong? Theres a way to talk about parents, you know, with respect. Mum raised me on her own, after Dad left. Your Grandad Peter came later, you remember? I always respected him. He replaced the father I lost. He never forced himself into my upbringinghe believed men raised boys.
Thats nice, Dadbut why didnt he step in with Martha?
He tried, but his rule worked against him thereMartha was a girl. Gran raised her how she saw fit. Dont judge her too harshlyshe had her reasons.
What reasons? Ellie glanced at Martha and felt a lump in her throat. Shes such a good personalmost too good. But so… I dont even know how to say itlost. Scared of everything and everyone. Why?
Maybe it comes from worry. My mum was frightened for Martha every moment. She nearly lost her in pregnancy, you know. While Gran was stuck in bed, Peter and I looked after each other. He made soups, fetched liver from the market at dawn, anything for Gran. Thats how I learned what men are made of.
I dont really remember Peter, said Ellie, although I remember the rocking horse he made for me.
Yes! He built it while we waited for you. Handy man, Peter. Its still up in the loft, waiting for his great-grandkids one day.
Dad!
One day, Ellie. Maybe not soon, but one day
Not any time soon! Ellie rolled her eyes.
Philip joked with her and dodged further questionshe was never quite prepared to explain everything, for all the questions in their house.
Their family was never straightforward. When Martha was little, she called their home a paper house.
Why a paper house, Martha?
As a scrawny secondary school lad, Philip still found time for his little sister. Shed amuse him with her imagination.
Because it looks like this paper tulip, Martha explained, twirling the origami flower hed made. Its beautiful, isnt it? But what if She slapped her hand down on it.
Whyd you do that? Philip cried, startled.
Its empty inside. See? Make another one!
And youll squash it, too?
Nolet me show you something.
She stuffed bits of modelling clay through the base of the paper flower, packing it tight. Now, try. See? Its strong now. Our house isnt. It needs something inside.
Philip turned the tulip in his hands, amazed at how much his little sister understood.
Hed learned the trick from his classmate, Alicea serious girl who never stopped folding paper in lessons. By the bell, a frog, a crane, or a bouquet was on her desk. The teachers indulged hershe was a star pupil, after all.
Philip always brought Alices origami home for Martha, who would marvel at them each time.
Can she teach me? Martha begged.
So Philip asked his mother for permission to take his sister to the park with Alice. He didnt dare invite her homeGran would never approve.
Larissa, their mother, was strictsometimes much too strict. Philip excused her, thinking she was afraid, always afraid something would happen to her children.
Ought to think about your future, Philip. Ive raised you as best I can. The rest is up to you. I still have Martha to mindand remember, Peters your stepfather, not your real father.
He never argued. In his heart, he knew Peter would support him, whatever happened.
Still, the conversations Larissa only began when Peter was away would never have happened in his presencePeter believed a family was everything, and built it so.
But Philip saw early on that everything meant different things to different people. Dad believed in kindness and funMum in discipline, and a little fear, just in case.
Larissas worry was constantnever-ending. What if Martha gets upset! What if someones mean at school!
For Martha, everyone was a riskfriends, teachers, even family outings. Gran didnt approve of hugs for teachers, or outside friendsYouve got your family; thats all you need. Other people only bring pain.
Why Larissa was so convinced her children were at constant risk, Philip never quite found out. Gran changed jobs for more flexible hours; learned to drive just to ferry Martha to lessons; never let her out of her sight.
By then, Philips life was filling upAlice, and then their daughter, Lily, who left Gran dumbstruck. A grandchild before her son reached twenty-five? Unthinkable!
Why now, Philip? Youve got exams coming! Larissa sobbed, hugging herself in the kitchen.
Mum, Im grown up. Ill look after us. Alice is having my babythats that.
You shouldve been careful! Theres still time
Stop, Mum. Dont say something youll regret. This is my family.
He said his goodbyes to his sister, then ducked into Peters room. The old man, now sick for months, pressed a set of keys into Philips hand.
Well sort out the paperwork. Dont worryyour mother and Martha will have the cottage. Prices are climbing in the area. Youll have the flatmake a real home, son. A strong one. That matters.
I will, Dad. Thank you.
Peter never got to meet Lily; she was born just after he quietly slipped away.
Without fuss, Philip took charge of the family. Martha relaxed, knowing Philip kept that paper tulip on the shelf above his desk.
Why? shed asked, touching its dry petals.
It reminds me not to be empty inside, Martha. To fill our lives with more than nothing.
Thats hard, Philip. Mum wont listen.
But Ill try.
Yes, you always try Martha changed the topicshe didnt want Philip in a row with their mum.
Things were tricky with Larissa after Peter. It was as if shed shut a door inside herself. Martha couldnt understand her, but Philip knew the loss all too well. He still remembered the sound of breaking vases, tears, and shouts after their father left years ago. At four, he found standing in the corner became routine, and his mums moods swung from harsh to tearfully apologetic. Hed always been a little tank, as shed say.
Youre hard as nails, Philip! Not a tear to be had. Doesnt it bother you when your mum cries? Only when she saw his bitten lip would she finally calm.
He tried to shield Martha from these moods as best he could, but this would have meant moving home, and Alicehis Alicewas too delicate for such turbulence.
When Alices heart failed, five years after Lily was born, the world stopped again. One morning, she simply didnt wake up. Philip was making tea in silence, not wanting to disturb her, and only noise from a boiling kettle and a frightened cat brought him back to his senses. He saw her still and knew.
He found Lilys plush cat on her pillowshed spent the night at Grans and hadnt taken it with her. Philip clenched the toy, grief washing over him.
Two months blurred into one. He functioned somehowfed Lily, kept her close. Only once did he realize the little girl must know what happened, when he saw her, cuddling the cat, whispering to her mothers picture.
Who told you? he asked gently, later.
Granny. She said to be kind to you and not talk about Mummy or youd be sad.
He squeezed her a little too tightly, then apologised.
Oh, my little love. You can talk about Mummy whenever you want. Dont listen to anyone else. Promise?
By the way Lily burst into tears, Philip knew how hard itd been on her. He cursed himself for letting her deal with it alone.
His anger turned to something else altogether when Martha turned up that night, soaked to the skin in the autumn rain. He didnt hear the knockjust felt her embrace when he opened the door, holding her as tightly as his daughter.
Martha! Whats happened?
It hurts was all she managed before he realised she needed helpreal help.
He saw the bruises the next morning.
Whats that?
She tried to tug down his oversized t-shirt, but the marks were visible.
Martha?
I dont want to talk about it.
You have to, Martha. Its the only way I can help.
She started sobbing; Philips worst fear was confirmed. He asked, quietly, Was it Mum?
A silent nod.
Dont send me back. Not yet. Im frightened.
Philip soothed her, working fast in his mind. A row would be disastrous; he knew it, but he understood lines had been crossed.
Tell me what happened, so I can help. I promise, youll never have to go back if you dont want to.
She didnt answer right away, but finally she nodded.
Mum found out Id been to the cinema with Matthewyou remember him?
The lad with all the hair? Here, have some tea. Have this sandwich.
She shook her head but continued, We werent serious, I swear! Just the cinema, and a walk in the park. In the daytime. He didnt even try to kiss me!
Mum yelled at meshe shook me and screamed awful things. She said Id end up suffering the way you do Sorry! I shouldnt have said that
Martha broke down then, as if she were a child herself, and Philip pulled her into his lap, comforting her as hed comforted Lily.
Therell be a flood of tears if you keep this up! No one will ever hurt you, Martha.
She stared at him, eyes wide.
No one. Not even Mum. I promised Dad Id always look after you. Have I ever broken my word?
A shake of the head.
Good. Can you mind Lily for me while I pop to Mums? Please, Marthahave some breakfast and tidy up a bit.
Philips talk with Larissa was long and harsh. She pleaded, shouted, beggedPhilip listened, then calmly said, Marthas staying with me for a bit. She needs to calm down. So do you.
Shes got school, exams coming up, competitions!
Mum. You didnt even look for her last night. What if she hadnt come to me?
You just want everything your way!
Do you even see us as people? Or are we just there for you to parade about with another trophy? You never once asked how I was coping since Alice died. Youre a fine manager, Mum, but a poor mother. Thats just how it is. Your daughter doesnt want to be a doctorshe wants to be a vet!
You cant make her choices for herIm her mother!
Yes, and does that mean crushing her? Forcing her into your way of thinking? Philip suddenly felt sorry for his mother, seeing her as lost as any of them.
Choose, Mum. Be part of our lives, or risk being alone. Because youll lose us otherwise.
He kissed her forehead, left, and sat for a long time on the stairs where hed gone up and down as a boynow not knowing whether going up or down meant progress.
His tactic workedLarissa reached out within two days, humbled and quieter, desperately wanting to make peace with Martha.
Martha couldnt forgive immediately. Their relationship was touchy for yearsawkward, like a seesaw with nobody quite sure which way it would tilt.
But Martha got her degree, started at a good animal clinic. Lily laughed to see her aunt turning up with all sorts of creaturesrescued birds, snakes, even a python once.
Another patient, Martha? Philip groaned.
Oh, come on, hes sweet! And warm! Stroke him!
Lily giggled and threatened to follow in her aunts footsteps.
Thats the last thing I needtwo vets in the house! Philip feigned horror.
Marthas routine was mostly home, work, and careful visits to her mother. Lily nagged her dad to introduce Martha to his friends, but nothing ever came of it.
Thenthe news.
Id like you to meet my boyfriend, Martha said, shyly glancing away. Just no laughing.
Wed never laugh, Martha, Lily grinned, hugging her aunt.
The right-foot trainer, slightly chewed by Marthas last patient, turned up under Philips bed, and Lily pulled it on, eager to go.
Im ready!
You? On time? Philip raised an eyebrow.
As they walked up the path, they spotted Martha and her boyfriend on a bench.
Dad, thats him the one with the wild hair?
Lilys stage-whisper was so loud Martha shot her a look.
Matthew.
Philip. They shook hands.
Lily.
Wild one! Matthew laughed, winking at Martha. Smile, lovethe days too nice to be worried. I love your trainers. Might get a pair myself.
Lily laughed, and in that instant, saw the silver flicker of kindness in Marthas eyes. It was so beautiful that Lily clapped out of sheer delight, confusing their new friend.
Its alright. Were a curious bunchhalf mad. Youll get used to us!
Dont worry, Matthew replied. I think Ill fit right in with your… team? Or is there a better word?
Family, Matthew. Were a family, Lily said, winking at Martha as she took her fathers arm.
*
You cant always choose the way youre raised, nor the family youre born into. But kindness, understanding, and persistence can help fill the hollow spaces, and in time, even a fragile paper house can become a real homestrong and full of warmth.
