I have a cousin, Emily. Shes forty years old, has been through two unsuccessful marriages, and has no children. She worked, rented a flat, and generally seemed quite content. In truth, she was happy. But about six years ago, perhaps realising that time was slipping away, she decided she wanted a child. Her husband was supportive of the idea, but she simply couldnt conceive. The constant arguments and blame eventually tore the marriage apart. Still, Emily wasnt deterred; her desire to become a mother turned into something of an obsession. She wasnt willing to have a child with just anyone and quickly dismissed the idea of casual relationships.
The men who got involved with her fled as soon as they found out about her determination to have a child. So, she turned to medical options. She attempted IVF several times, but nothing worked.
A few years ago, Emily became more religious; she started attending church, praying, visiting shrines, and would faithfully try IVF whenever she could. She spent a considerable amount of money, thousands of pounds, on all these treatments. And finally, at long last, it worked!
She told everyone about her successful attempt! Emily was extremely anxious about herself and the baby, so she spent her entire pregnancy either under close supervision at the hospital or resting at home. When things got more complicated, she moved back in with her mother. Expecting a girl, Emily bought only the best things and prepared herself to become a mum.
When the time came, she stayed in hospital until it was time to give birth. After the baby was born, I called to congratulate her and ask when shed be discharged. She replied curtly that she would leave the hospital alone, without her daughter. I didnt press her, but instead asked my aunt. She confirmed that Emilys baby was going to be put up for adoption.
She never told me the reason. A week later, Emily came home, sold all the things shed bought for the baby, and went back to her old way of life. She didnt speak about her daughter, nor did she seem to think about her. I kept wondering, what was the reason for it? No, the girl was completely healthy, thats what my aunt said, their living space could have easily accommodated the both of them, and there was plenty of money; so what was the reason? Emily wouldnt answer.
Now, she lives her own life, works, rents her flat, and is seeing someone new. She never mentions her daughter and shuts down any conversation about it. I find it really hard; I feel like the little girl, abandoned in a childrens home, has no one. All I can do is hope she finds good parents who will love and need her.
