Payback Years Later
Weve found just the right woman! the doctor exclaims, beaming as he studies the anxious couple sitting across from him. Hes clearly eager to share the good newshis eyes are bright with anticipation and theres a confident smile on his lips. In his mind, hes already calculating his commission for successfully arranging a surrogate birththis deal promises to be lucrative. Her health is excellent, she has a little boy of her own, three years old. Shes quite attractive toofair hair, large eyes, delicate features. Just your type, really. This is a golden opportunity we cant pass up! He leans forward a little, emphasising the merits of the candidate.
When do you think we could talk to her? James can hardly contain himself, his hands tremble slightly and theres a tightness in his chest at the thought that his long-held dream is almost within reach. And whats made her agree to this? Surrogacys not all that common in this country he adds in a quieter voiceearnest curiosity mixed with concern. He wants reassurance, to know the womans motives. He needs to believe itll all go smoothly.
As I understand it, shes hoping to move closer to the sea, the doctor replies, voice a touch indifferent as he flips through a folder. He barely glances at the couple. The womans motives matter little to himhe hasnt even bothered to remember her name. What counts is her spotless health and robust state of mind. Apparently, the money from selling her flat wont cover a new place in Brighton, where shed like to live. So the compensation from surrogacy is crucial for her. Honestly, theres nothing to worry about, he says, warming up again and meeting Jamess eye. You could meet her tomorrow morningwill nine oclock suit you? He smiles, setting the folder down, the arrangement seemingly settled.
Of course! James breathes out, his face lighting up with almost childlike delight, so sincere that even the doctor feels the warmth for a fleeting moment. Jamess eyes shine, his grin is uncontrollable, and his shoulders finally relax, as if a great weight has just fallen away. Weve waited so longeven an extra few hours feel unbearable! You count every day, every hour when youre waiting for something this important His voice rings with raw hope, hands trembling with emotion as he glances at his wife, wanting her to share this moment, before looking back at the doctor, eager for more details.
Soon, the couple gather their things and leave. James chatters about what they need to organise before tomorrows meeting, mentally listing all the questions for the would-be surrogate. His wife walks quietly beside him, her contributions minimal, her gaze strangely distant.
After theyve gone, the nurse tidying instruments pauses, glancing thoughtfully at the closed door, then turns to the doctor.
You know, Dr. Harrington, if Im honest, it seems to me that only one of them really wants this child, she says softly, her tone sympathetic, worry flickering through her voice. Did you see the way she sat? Shoulders slumped, that vacant look in her eyes Theres a sadness there, as if shes already saying goodbye to something precious. The nurses words are measured, almost whispered.
The doctor drums his pen against the desk, frowning in thought. He recalls the womans expression, her reserve, and the subtle anxiety hinted at by the nurse.
Yes, I sensed some reluctance there myself. Almost as though shes being forced, he mutters, troubled for a second, but the feeling quickly vanishes. But thats not our business, Emily, he says, settling back in his chair and setting the pen aside. Were bringing new life into the world. The resttheyll work it out. His voice carries the sort of even calm that brooks no argument, drawing an unspoken line under the matter. Emily nods and resumes her work, though shes clearly fretful for the fate of the family theyve just met.
***
James paces back and forth across the sitting room, checking the clock every few seconds, unable to keep his nerves in check. His heart thumps in his chest, palms clammy with excitement and anxiety. Today, at last, theyll discover whether theyre having a boy or a girl!
Already James pictures the future in daydreams: ideally, a boyhes had a name chosen for years, imagines teaching him to play football in the garden, taking him fishing at the crack of dawn, whispering stories of far-off stars during warm August nights. But a girl would be just as wonderful. The only thing that matters is that their baby is healthy.
In contrast, Alice displays little of her husbands enthusiasm. She sits by the window, knees hugged up to her chest, watching the street below where children tumble down snowy hills in laughter, couples stroll hand-in-hand. The scene looks remote, like a memory from another life.
Inside, Alice is a storm of emotion, though she appears almost motionless. Grief squeezes her chest, resentment threatens to spill over, and an enduring sense of guilt wont let go. The worst is the constant, bleak reminder of her own inadequacydespite every effort to drown it out. Its bad enough to be reminded she cant bear children, but to endure Jamess never-ending plans for a baby barely more than a dreamits exhausting. The child already has a nursery newly decorated and a sizable bank accountprepared early, with hope and meticulous care.
James, she knows, has always wanted children. As an only child, hed envied friends with siblingsalways someone to confide in, play with, fight with. Even in year seven he dreamed of having at least three childrenmore, if possible. Hed once drawn an elaborate family tree, carefully filling in imaginary sons and daughters; three boys and two girls, a bustling, happy family. Hed pinned it above his bed, studying it every night, desperately wishing the picture to become real.
Alice had once shared that dreamimagining herself dressing daughters in lovely frocks, teaching them to bake biscuits, walking her sons to football training and karate classes. But reality dealt a cruel blow: after years of failed treatment, the doctors finally declared she would never have childrenever, under any circumstances. The news devastated them both, but in different ways: James stubbornly chased every possible solution, while Alice withdrew, trying to come to terms with pain and guilt.
Looking back, Alice marvels that they didnt split. She recalls those bleak dayssleepless nights, tears muffled into her pillow, desperately browsing medical websites for any glimmer of hope, phoning clinics, investigating new treatmentsall futile.
Their financial comfort was a saving grace: surrogacy became a viable option. They debated for months, swayed by doubts, but the idea gradually seemed the only real chance of a family. But the path wasnt smooththeyre on their third candidate, after previous surrogates each withdrew for their own reasons. Each failed match frayed their nerves, but James remained adamant: Well find another. We wont give up.
At last, good news. The doctors office, the antiseptic tang in the air, the soft lamp lightand the phrase theyve waited for:
Congratulations. Youre having a boy! The doctors smile is brimming with barely concealed satisfaction, already picturing his sizeable commission. He does his best to stay professional, but cant help grinning broadly. The mothers in great health. No complications at all. Everythings going perfectly.
Wonderful! James nearly leaps up with excitement, eyes shining with happy tears, voice trembling as his hands clench and unclench. Hes pink with emotion, breathing rapid. I cant wait to hold himeverythings ready: clothes, toys, every little thing I wish I could sleep until hes born! I keep picturing rocking him, singing lullabies hearing him call me Dad His words tumble out, rapid and breathlesshes like a boy himself, overwhelmed with anticipation.
Alice tries to mirror his joy. She smiles, nods, even manages a faint Yes, thats marvellous, but deep down the invisible rift remains. She cant help worrying, What if something goes wrong? What if its heartbreak again? Will I be able to be a good mother to a child I didnt carry?
Well, youll have to be patient for now, the doctor jokes gently, jotting notes. He notices Alices tension, but doesnt dwellits far from unusual in his experience. Well see you again in two weeks for the next check. Well keep you updated. He snaps the folder shut, offers another reassuring smile. Everythings as it should be. Just try to stay positive.
James, buzzing, launches into questions about upcoming tests. Alice sits quietly, watching her husbands radiant face, trying to let a little of his happiness take root in her heart. Somewhere deep down, she makes herself a quiet promise: Ill keep trying for him, for us, for our child.
***
Yes, youve understood correctly, Victoria says, eyes cold as steel, her lips curling in a poisonous smile that doesnt suit her face. The hostility in her eyes is unmistakablea bitterness thats festered for years. Im not giving the baby up. And I have every right. The deposits been returned, the funds should be in your account, she states almost sweetly, adjusting her blouse sleeve as though this conversation costs her nothing.
I dont care about the moneyI want my son! James is on the verge of losing it in the tiny café where shes asked to meet. His fists are clenched, knuckles white, hands shaking from helpless rage. His voice breaks with anguish; everything inside him feels tight, his vision swims. Hed hoped this was some cruel joke, but Victorias chilling calm leaves no doubt. It turns out she gave birth two weeks ago in a different city, telling no one, not letting him near for the birth. Hes mine, my son! Give me my child! he cries, pain thick in his voice, loud enough that the indifferent barista glances up before returning deliberately to wiping mugs.
No, Victoria replies, obvious pleasure in her voice as she folds her arms smugly, leaning back. Her posture radiates total certainty and something triumphant flickers in her eyes. You can try to take it to court, but dont expect things to go your way. All your money wont help; Ive plenty of my own, she says with an almost childish gleenot so much winning as avenging some long-held grievance.
Why? I just dont get it! Jamess voice is raw with honest bewilderment. He has no idea how its all unraveled so spectacularly. Just last month they were discussing arrangements, she seemed calm, cooperative. Now here she is, smiling nastily, refusing to give up the baby. His mind is chaos, thoughts spinning, his heart pounding almost painfully. He tries to find a shred of logic in her actions, but nothing fits.
Havent you figured it out yet? She rolls her eyes, leans in to catch his gaze. No wonder, I suppose; Ive changed a lot. Lost weight, got contacts, found a decent stylista very different person now. But the names the same. Nothing ringing any bells? Try to remember whos suffered at your hands! Her voice has turned tough, almost metallic, and the smile is gone, replaced by something sharp and cold as she searches his face for recognition.
And suddenly, James remembers. A scene from university rushes back with crisp clarity. Hed met a quiet girl called Victoriachubby, ponytail, thick glasses. She was always reserved, gaze lowered, rarely joining in.
James, back then, was the centre of the groupcharming, confident, always ready with a joke. He singled Victoria out, showered her with compliments, strummed love songs on his guitar, presented tiny bunches of wildflowers from outside the tube station. Hed been so convincing that Victoria thawed, clung to his every word, treasured details of their relationship in her diary.
The truth? He never liked her. Never thought about her unless she was right in front of him. Why start something with her? Oldest reason in the booka bet. His mates had laughed: No way will that quiet one give you the time of day! but James just grinned, saying, Bet Ill have her chasing after me in a month. And he won.
New Years Eve was the climax. James brought Victoria to celebrate, then in front of everyone claimed his prize, announcing that it had all been for fun. He thought it hilarious, but the laughter was awkward, then everyone joined inpointing at Victoria, sniggering.
For Victoria, the aftermath was agonycruel whispers wherever she went, nasty remarks in the canteen, mocking posts online. Silly girl was the kindest comment shed see. Unable to bear it, she dropped out in her final year and vanished to somewhere no one knew her, rebuilding herself with sheer determinationshe lost the weight, got cosmetic help, learned makeup, found a stylist. Years of hard workand angerturned her into someone unrecognisable. Getting even became her fuela reason to keep going.
That wasyears ago! James stammers, voice hoarse, the full horror of his prank sinking in. It was childish Surely you cant compare some jeering to taking a child? Hes done nothing wrong! His plea is genuine, his voice breakingnot for himself, but for the innocent baby caught in the crossfire.
The baby will be perfectly loved, snaps Victoria, ice in her smile. Hell go to a wonderful familywealthy, kind people whove longed for a child as much as you did. The irony, right? Her tone drips with savage glee at his misery.
Let me have himif you dont want him! James chokes out, fists balled, his chest burning. He leans forward as though desperate to shake sense into her. But he stopshe realises hes not facing just a woman, but a wall of pain and revenge, a wall he helped build. Now he feels the full force of what he did all those years ago.
Of course I dont want himhes yours, Victoria spits, her words venomous. She lifts her chin, locking eyes, her conviction absolute. James recoils, winded by her hatred, struck dumb for a moment.
We leave tonight. I have dual citizenship, so its simple. And believe me, I have the best solicitors money can buy, she continues, totally assured. Every detail planned three steps ahead.
But how? Where did you get the money? You were on your own! James persists, though he knows its lost. His voice is weak, almost begging. He searches her face for any flicker of vulnerability. How did you manage this? The lawyers, the move, starting overthat takes a fortune!
Victoria smirks, but now her smile is weary not wicked. I married well, she says bluntly, standing up. Three years later, I was widowedirrelevant now, though. She tosses a fifty for the untouched coffee. You nearly destroyed me, and I swore Id make you suffer. Finding your weak spot wasnt hard. Sosuccess, wouldnt you say? Her tone is almost ceremonial now, as if concluding a long-delayed reckoning. And for just a second, behind her eyes, something sad flickersrevenge, it seems, isnt as sweet as promised.
She strides to the door, heels echoing like a countdown on Jamess dreams. He stands frozen, hollowed out, his hands shaking, throat tight with unshed tears. He wants to protest, beg, explainbut the words just wont come.
At the door, Victoria pauses, hand on the handle, looking back over her shoulder. For a fleeting instant, theres something like regret in her expressionso brief it might have been a trick of the light. But James sees it and knows.
You know, she says softly, her voice losing its edge, I could have just run off with the money. But I wanted you to feel what I didlike your whole world is collapsing, like everything you believed in is dust. You took my trust in people, so Ive taken from you your shot at fatherhood. Fair, dont you think?
James doesnt answer. He just stands hunched, suddenly aged by years. His arms hang limp at his sides, eyes shining with grief and disbelief fixed on Victorias disappearing figure. He watches her open the door, a burst of wintry air swirling in, and vanish into the crowd outside. In that moment, he feels not just loss, but utter emptinessas if shes taken something vital away, something hell never get back.
