Mums Friend
Eighteen years old, darling! Can you believe it? beamed Margaret Andrew this morning, smoothing her daughters narrow shoulders. Grown up at last! Michael! Michael, our little girl is all grown up and youre reading the paper again! Come on, lets wish her happy birthday! she shouted to her husband.
He reluctantly got up from the armchair, picked up the flowersroses, of course, pale cream ones with green veins, as if carved from wax, no thorns, neatly trimmed so Mary wouldnt prick her fingers on her way with the bouquet. Margaret did all the planning herself for the celebrationsshe never let her husband near the preparations unless, of course, he was running errands. Pop out to Waitrose for some salmon, fetch Mary and Emilys dresses from the tailor, take some shoes to the cobbler to have the heels replaced but bring them back quickly because the guests would soon be arriving, and Margaret certainly couldnt welcome them barefoot! Go next door to borrow their teapot All these little jobs fell to Michael. He was always there, always in her wake, like a loyal little terrier.
Michael and Margaretour delight! their friends joked at the wedding, and Mary looked on approvingly, shooing Michael away as he tried to hold her hand. He still loved her thenmore than ever, perhaps. He loved her through the birth of Emily, their only daughter. Margaret insisted thered be no more childrenshed made up her mind, and though Michael wouldn’t have minded a son, or even another daughter, that was simply that.
Do you know what I went through? Carrying her, bringing her into the world?! Have you ever even tried to imagine what its like to give birth? You’d have divorced me there and then if youd had to go through thatyoud know its hellish, Michael! Dont argue! Dont answer back! And did you see me with a single friend while I was expecting Emily? Any day-trips, weekends away? No, just four walls and me, all because you brought home some foul, dreadful flu and I ended up sick, barely functioning. No more, my dearnever again. Weve got Emily, you raise her. Although, lets be honest, what can you possibly teach her? You couldnt even manage nappies! Always trembling, everything fell to me. So, nodont even think of mentioning more children, more pregnancies, breastfeeding, or the ruin of my figure. By the way! Margaret shot a stern look at her husband, who simply closed his eyes, resigned. Have you found out about the spa? Emily and I absolutely need to ring in summer at our favourite bit of the coast. After that, Turkey or the Mediterranean! You havent even noticed your daughters got such poor bloodshe needs fresh air, pine trees, salt water!
There was nothing wrong with Emilys health, but Margaret told her stories. She simply wanted out of stifling London, time to rest, to eat grapes right off the vine with her plump fingers, squint and say tart! to the taste, drink mineral water, recline in a mud bath, sighing about her skin getting younger. Lazing on the beach, drifting off in the sunshine, waking up sunburnt, then putting on an act in the restaurant to coax the waiter into bringing ice cream for free, just for her.
Margaret was very good at resting, having had years of instructions from her own mother. Not that she really needed a breakshed never worked a day in her life; her university diploma lay in the bottom drawer of the dresser under lacy petticoats Michael brought back from a business trip. It was convenient, being married to a man who travelled often with diplomatic delegations as a translator. It made life so much simpler.
With no job, but surrounded by a small army of helpersa daily cook, a cleaning lady, tutors for her daughterMargaret still found herself exhausted, forever needing a change of scene, an audience for the little play she called life. So she played her trump cardEmily.
Emily, Margaret explained, had low iron, anemia, a touch of rickets, and severe fatigue after enduring this stuffy city and an exhausting school year. She needed a break.
Michael never argued. If it was necessary, then of course it was necessaryEmily was their only child, after all, no chance for number two. It was all in on her!
The best holiday cottages and hotels in summer, weekends with friends in the countryside in winterbonfire parties and fireworks, everything spread at Emilys feet. Margaret? She only came along, just to accompany, as one simply couldnt send a girl off alone
Mother and daughter were inseparable, always giggling together, whispering private jokes, lying across the main bed with a fashion magazine. Michael was firmly told not to interrupt at such moments.
You see, Michael, its so important Emily feels she can trust me completely, that Im her confidante. Then everything will be perfect! Margaret told him, regularly.
She needs real friends her own age, Margaret! All this meddling is horrible! Michael used to say, folding his newspaper and tossing it onto the shiny dining table in frustration.
She has friends! Silly, empty-headed girls, sure, but she has them! Margaret waved a hand dismissively. But I should be the one she talks to about serious things, not them. And then
She always dissolved into laughter before finishing her sentence. Baffled, Michael would look at her.
What?
Look at your reflection in the glass! You look like some hunchbacked creature, Michael! Good heavenswhat have you become? Margaret was laughing so hard she started to hiccup, and Mrs. Palmer, the cook, brought her a glass of water to settle her plump, trembling mistress. Margaret kept going, though:
Michael the hunchback! Michael the midget! she declared, jabbing her finger at the glass
These quarrels would flash and fade, always simmering beneath the surface until the next eruption.
Emily, darling! At last your fathers managed to pull himself together and bring you your present. Flowers! Michael, what are you waiting forgive them to her! And here Margaret pulled a little jewellery box from behind her back.
Emilys eyes shone. Michael frowned.
Wear them with joy, darling. Theyre sapphire earrings, with a matching necklace. Beautiful, arent they? Margaret murmured.
Emily unclipped the jewellery, tried to put the earrings in herself, but her mother helped.
Margaret, with what money? You know we have to economise now I could be made redundant any day and Michael whispered, but his wife just shooed him away.
Oh, Michael, dont start! Em, your father is just being stingy on your birthday! Margaret announced, pouting so that she looked oddly rabbit-like.
What are you saying, Margaret? Ive never cut corners with you two! You promised youd get something simple, and Emilys far too young for such heavy jewellerywhere will she ever wear it? Michael was glancing not at his wife, but at his glowing daughter, shaking his head.
Thats not your concern! Anyway, tomorrow were off to the West End, to see a balletEmily will dazzle with her new earrings, wont she, dear? Now off you go, Michael, back to your dull old papers; youre better off with them! Theyre as soulless as you! Emily, darling, come herelets whisper.
Margaret shooed her husband from the room, shut the door and smiled at her daughter.
Darling, your friends will be here before long. Mrs. Palmers making a feast. Im not sure I know them allyoull introduce me, wont you? What dress should I wear? she cooed, stroking Emilys hair. How lovely, she thought, when mother and daughter are best friends!
Emily confided all her secrets and silly day-to-day stories to Margaret, making her day a little bit her mothers too. Afterwards, Margaret would update her husband: Oh, Emily and I cant stand her Maths teacher! She shouts at us, what gives her the right? But we think Joe Martins lovelyhes a real gentleman. Plays violin, studies at the Royal Academy. But why am I telling youyou’re not listening!
I listen, Margaret. I care about Emilys life and her friends and her studies. But I wouldnt meddle in everything like you do. She needs space to be herself, to make her own choices! Michael would object.
You want her to make the same mistakes we did? To suffer her whole life just because I didnt help when I should have? Margaret shook her head at her useless husband. If my mother had told me what a wet blanket you are, Id never have gone to the country with you, would have found someone better. But she never got involved, just kept to herself. And look at meIve sacrificed everything to this marriage and you cant even be a decent husband or father. Well, Ill manage just fine on my own, thank you very much.
Margaret and Emily tried on shoes until they settled on beige suede ones with slim heels. When they were done, Emily was let out for a walk.
There she went along the pavement, smiling and winking back at the sun as it chased her through the sky. Such a day, turning eighteen, was a grand event. And soon Paul would be at the party
Thinking of Paul made her stomach flutter.
So this is what people mean by butterflies, Emily thought, nerves making her heart leap. She felt so happy she could burst.
Paul sent her endless messagesthe kind that are silly and charming at once. They werent an official couple yet, but Emily hoped tonight would change that. If her parents left soon enough, and the guests went home, and Paul stayed her head spun at the thought.
She checked her watchtime to head back and welcome everyone.
Emily had just enough time to drink some squash and fix her hair, while Mrs. Palmer set the table, laid out silverware beside fine porcelain plates and arranged napkinsnot the disposable kind, heaven forbid, but proper cotton, and insisted the fruit bowl (with dangling grapes, rosy peaches, oranges, apples) remain in the centre of the table. Later, of course, Margaret took away the apples. Why? They were commoneverything had to look just so.
The bell rang and Margaret, all dolled up in a bright, strappy dress, her cleavage spilling from the neckline, her feet smarting from the stilettos, went to answer.
Hello! cried a group of lads, tumbling into the hallway, shoving flowers into her arms. Em! Happy birthday!
Each shook her hand in turn, a bit bashful under Margarets watchful gaze. She insisted on being present at all of Emilys birthdayseven at nursery, when all the other mothers had left, Margaret would remain, camera in hand.
Ill just take a photo or two! Its precioustheyre all so sweet! shed sigh, taking pictures of only Emily. The others just didnt come out.
At Primary, Emilys birthdays were held in childrens clubsparents sipped tart wine while the kids devoured pizza, rampaging in the playroom.
Later, Emily entertained just a select group at home, always chaperoned by Margaret. The guests would eventually be allowed out to the park, with a bit of money from Margaretshe knew Emily wouldnt try anything foolish.
Mum, shall I put these flowers in water? Theres a vase in the kitchen Emily hinted, eager to have her mum out of the room for a moment.
Oh, of course! How silly of me. Such a day Margaret hinted broadly that it wouldnt hurt to be congratulated herself, but the teenagers just pressed on to Emilys room, waiting for the rest.
Soon the girls arrived and, after exchanging polite kisses with Emily, they giggled and disappeared to Emilys room as well.
Emily kept peering out, never letting go of her mobile.
Well, I think everyones here, darling! Lets sit down! Call your father, ask everyone to the table! Margaret smiled. Youre all starving, I bet!
Lets wait a bit longer, Mum. Please! Emily shook her head.
Why wait? Girls, boys, to the dining room! Margaret popped her head round the door. Everythings ready! Michael! Michael Andrew, come help open the bubbly! she called.
Emilys father appeared from his study.
Dad, just a little longer, please Emily whispered.
No, enough waiting! Lets get started! Everyone to the table! Margaret flung open the double doors grandly, arms wide like at the start of a West End show.
The guests took their seats. Margaret knew them allno strangers here.
That ginger-haired boy, Oliver, obsessed with astrophysics and talks of working for the UK Space Agency; very admirable.
Sitting beside him, Victoria, whose dads someone big in oil. Once, Victoria had Emily for a sleepoverwell, sleepover! It was a manor. Margaret made a week-long visit out of itnot about to let Emily travel alone.
Edward, Nicholas, and Samordinary lads, nothing special, but fun enough. Ones dad ran a garagenoted, that might come in handy one day!
Sophie and Carrieflirty, scatterbrained girls, but next to them, Emily looked positively elegant. Good guests.
Glasses were filled with Prosecco, Michael proposed a toast, everyone clinked, champagne fizzed onto the white tablecloth and into the salad, prompting more laughter.
Michael excused himself, saying he had work to do, and Emily fidgeted with her starched napkin, picking at her food.
Anyone know where Paul is? I texted but he hasnt replied. He promised to come she finally asked, quietly.
Everyone knew about her feelings and shared a look of sympathy.
Havent you heard? piped up Victoria.
Heard what? Emily frowned.
He left yesterday. Got into uninot here, but you know he always wanted medicine, so off he went.
What? He could have left tomorrow. He promisedI dont understand. Where to? Emilys voice wobbled. The butterflies in her stomach fluttered franticallyit even hurt.
Ask Margaret. Shell explain, Victoria helped herself to more salad.
Margaret sat up, tense.
Mum? What does she mean?
Michael, just outside the door, sighed. So, shed gone and done ithis meddling, insufferable wife
Me? I havent a clue. Boys, try the ham! Homemade! And the herring, and the mains coming soonthen dancing chirped Margaret, but Michael came in and demanded she follow him to the kitchen.
Michael! Margaret protested. There are guests! What are you doing?
But he was firm and led her out. Emily followed, resigned.
The kitchen was hot, thick with the smell of pie, counters crowded with bowls and plates, a mug of tea half-finished discarded on the side, pots stewing on the hob.
Now youll tell Emily everything. Everything, Margaret! How you read all her texts, eavesdropped. Stuck your nose where it doesnt belong. Tell the truth! Michael slammed a fist on the table. Margaret flinched. So did Emily.
Whats the harm? Margaret cocked her eyebrow. Theres nothing wrong with keeping an eye on your childrenits often for their own good! Emily and I have a special bondshes never been upset by it, have you, darling?
Emily looked from her father to her mother, fists clenched.
Mum, whats wrong with you? Why should you pry into my life? So you read everything? Every day? Thats disgusting. Its humiliating! Emily trembled, wanting to run, but stayed put. And you, Dad? You knew and said nothing? I thought you were just quiet, put upon, but always decentnow youre worse than she is! She jabbed a finger at Margaret.
Oh Emily! Hes dreadful! But ignore him, darlingIve always done whats best for you. We make a great team! Without me, youd never have done half as wellmusic competitions, schoolwork, examsI carried you! So dont try to hide things from me. And Paul Well, hes not right for you, I know these things. I called and arranged a place for him in a northern university med schoolhe was off in a flash. So what? There was only one spot, your fathers surname smoothed everything, and hes grateful to me! But he has no place here. Id do anything to keep that working-class lout away from you. I gave birth to you, EmilyI have the right to…
To what, Mum? Own me? Emily laughed. Your achievements? What achievements, Mum? Everything I did, I did myself. You just bothered me with, Fancy a cup of tea? Go for a walk? Sit up straighter, relax your fingers! You never understood anything, your advice was silly and daft, but I put up with it because I felt sorry for you.
Michael stared through the window. So this was itthe end of their peaceful little existence, their imitation of a normal family. All he ever wanted was normality, no dramas, no rows. He married Margaret because because she fell pregnant, and he was a decent man. It was punishment, really, for a man like himbut back then shed been passionate, so eager for him, the bespectacled nerd, that hed felt like a tiger for a moment and well, Emily happened.
Margaret was from a good family, he could never have compromised her. So he married her.
What now?
How could you, Emily? I gave you everythingmy health, sleepless nights, all so youd grow up my best friend, my real, true friendand I could be the best mum in the world. If only my own mother had been like that! Were best friends, Emily, the closest of all! Margaret burst into tears, turning away. Michael! Why wont you say something? Your daughters lost and you
Yes She is. We lost her. We lured her in and then trapped her in knots, Michael said, with a wry smile. I havent got anything else to add. Forgive us, Emily, if you can.
Emily wanted to say that friends dont behave like this, they dont barge where theyre not wanted; but she was interrupted by the bell. Victoria answered, calling her.
There, at the door, stood Paul with a huge and rather mismatched bouquetthe sort Margaret would sniff at and call rubbish from the corner shop.
Paul? I thought youd gone! Emily whispered, looking up at the tall, awkward boy.
Londons not the end of the world, is it? he winked.
Right Its no distance for a mad dog! muttered Margaret under her breath.
I promised Id wish you happy birthday, didnt I? So here I am! Take these flowers, pleasestanding here holding thems just silly. Theyre for you
He went scarlet, even his ears. Emily had never seen anyone blush so fast and snatched the flowers.
Bend down! she ordered.
He dutifully leaned over. Emily kissed himon the lips. Just like that.
The others peeking from the lounge clicked their tongues, Michael gave a little sigh of relief, and Margaret shut her eyes.
Thank you, Mrs. Andrew! Paul bounded over and hugged her tight. Youre a marvel! You helped enormously. That professor at the northern unihe operated on my grandfather, brilliant bloke! Beyond happy Ill be studying under him. Thank you, Auntie Margaret! And when I qualify, Ill sort your gallbladder out, no fuss, promise!
Margaret paled and croaked, God forbid! But everyone else laughedsilly, feeble things. Even Michael laughed, beaming so wildly his eyes watered.
The party was in full swingjokes, banter, stories told round the table, while Emily continued to hold Pauls hand. He didnt seem to mindhed come for this moment
Michael! Who was on the phone, at work? Margaret asked sternly, putting down her cup. Now she wanted to be pals with him, and he kept his distance.
No one.
So you were just chatting to yourself for half an hour? Margaret smirked, snatching up his mobile the moment he left for the bathroom. She fumbled with the passcode in vain, panicked, and set it down. No matterMargaret was persistent; shed find out that, and more. She just might not like what she discovered.
Tonight, I saw my family for what we truly arenot the perfect show, but flawed, complicated people trying to do right by each other in backward ways. I learned that friendship, whether between men or women, parents or daughters, must always leave room for trustand for letting go. If you love someone, sometimes you have to stand back and give them the space to grow.
