13May2025
Dear Diary,
Ive always been the sort of bloke who keeps his head down, works hard, and tries not to get tangled up in other peoples messes. Yet, over the past few years Ive found myself repeatedly pulled into the endless demands of my cousin Dinah, and its taken me a long time to see why I kept letting it happen.
A few years back I saved up enough to put a deposit on a flat in Camden, just a short walk from the tube. Id scrimped, taken extra shifts, and finally got a mortgage. The place gave me a sense of stability Id never felt before, especially after a rough childhood where my relationship with Mum and my younger sister fell apart over a longstanding family feud. Id built myself from the ground up, earning a degree on my own and landing a decent job in finance.
Dinah, on the other hand, seemed to have a talent for living off other people. Shed hop from one boyfriend to the next, always looking for a man whod foot the bill. Frequently shed ring me up, asking for cash until the next payday. At first I didnt think much of it; she was my family, after all.
One evening my phone buzzed. The screen flashed Dinah and I answered, trying to sound bright.
Hey, Tom, hows it going? she said.
Busy as ever, you? I replied.
She sighed heavily. Ive got a problem. My landlord just hiked the rent and I need £500 straight away or Ill be out on the street.
I hesitated. I had some money set aside for a holiday.
Please, Tom, just this once. Ill pay you back in a few days. Ive got a bloke who owes me, and Ill sort it then.
I could hear the desperation in her voice. Dinah, Im saving for a vacation and
Just a couple of days, Tom. Please. Im begging you.
I thought about it, then gave in, telling her I could only spare the amount for a few days. She thanked me profusely, asked for my card details, and within minutes the money was on its way. I never saw it back.
Three months later I called her, hoping to get some closure.
Dinah, how are you? I asked.
Oh, Tom, all right. What do you want? she replied, a hint of annoyance in her tone.
I swallowed my pride. Remember that money you borrowed? I need it back. My phone broke and I cant take client calls. I need a new one but Im short of cash.
She sneered, A new phone? Thats a bit extravagant, Tom. Maybe look for something cheaper?
I tried to explain, Phones are pricey now, and I need a decent one for work.
She brushed me off, I cant pay you back right now. Ive moved into a pricier flat and the bills are through the roof. Ill return it as soon as I can, I promise.
After that conversation I stopped expecting repayment. Id tried a few more times, each ending in the same hollow promises. Eventually I just let the loss settle.
A few months later Dinah called again, voice frantic.
Tom, I need moneyany amount.
I told you Im tight. I havent even received my quarterly bonus yet.
Please, Tom, Im broke, and my stomachs growling. I cant even think straight.
Have you seen a doctor? I asked.
Never have time for that, she snapped. Im not working for the second month now.
Dont try to sweettalk me, Dinah. How much can you actually spare?
The most I can manage is about £50.
£50? Thats all you expect?
Yes, thats all I have.
I gave her the fifty pounds, but from then on I made a point of avoiding any further meetups with Dinah. She seemed to find a way to remind me of herself at every turn.
Things took a darker turn when Dinah announced she was pregnant. She was dating a promising young solicitor and assumed the child would secure her future. I tried, over tea, to voice my concerns.
Dinah, maybe you shouldnt pin all your hopes on this bloke.
He loves me! she retorted. Weve only known each other a week. Hell marry me as soon as he finds out about the baby.
I think youre being reckless. What if he leaves?
Hell hell provide for us. Hes a decent man.
Dinah, you need a backup plan, not just his promise.
She brushed me off, accusing me of jealousy.
A few months later she turned up at my flat, tears streaming.
He he left me.
What do you mean? I asked, heart sinking.
The man said it wasnt his child. He said I have plenty of men lining up and threatened me if I tried to blackmail him.
I tried to warn you
Dont say anything! Im already a wreck. What do I do now?
I suggested she consider all her options, even an abortion, a suggestion that sent her into a fullblown hysteria.
Five months pregnant! Ive been stalling so hed think I wasnt after money! Where do I go now?
I tried to be calm. Youre scared, you have no job or cash. You cant keep living like this.
Fine. Ill give birth, see what happens. Maybe Ill write a termination letter or maybe hell change his mind. Can you lend me some money for the first few weeks? The doctors fees and vitamins are pricey, and Ive got nothing.
I opened my banking app, stared at my balance, and hesitated.
The baby, a boy Ill call Andy, arrived not long after. From day one Dinah began leaning on me for everythinggroceries, diapers, babysitting, even the smallest errandsalways under the excuse for the child. Shed ring at all hours.
Tom, could you pop down to the shop? Were out of milk and Andys crying.
Its nine at night, Dinah. The shops just down the road. Cant you manage?
My back hurts, I cant move. I dont feel like changing Andys nappy. Please?
Reluctantly I went, warning her it would be the last time. She piled on a shopping list: extra nappies, oat milk, chicken breasts, some sausage. When Andy ran a fever, she demanded I rush to the outofhours pharmacy for medication a friend of hers, a paediatrician, had recommended.
Whats happened? I asked, alarmed.
Andys temperatures spiking! I need antipyretic now! My paediatrician said its fine, just pick it up!
How can you rely on a recommendation without a proper check? Call an ambulance if its serious!
Im not calling an ambulance. The doctors good, she sells these supplements. Just bring them, please!
I felt my patience wear thin. Alright, Ill go, but this is truly the last time.
Months turned into a year and a half of endless favors. The final straw came one evening.
Tom, I need a new dress and Andy needs new shoes.
Dinah, enough! I cant keep living like this. I have a life too.
You think Ill let my child starve? You selfishonly think of yourself! she shouted.
I want you to take responsibility for yourself and your son. I wont keep supporting you.
She hurled insults, called me a hog, and threatened to ruin my reputation. I hung up, changed my number the next morning, and walked out of my flat feeling a strange mixture of relief and exhaustion.
Now, as I sit here with a quiet kitchen and the faint hum of the city outside, I realise the true cost of my endless generosity. Id let Dinahs selfishness bleed into every corner of my life, leaving me drained and resentful. The lesson Ive learned, hardwon and bitter, is that kindness should never come at the expense of ones own wellbeing. I must set firm boundaries, look after myself, and let others face the consequences of their own choices. Only then can I truly move forward.
