A Prisoner of His Love
The Rose & Crown was stifling and clamorous, just as it always was on Friday nights. Ellen stood at the bar, a mojito in hand, watching the throng thrum on the dance floor. Next to her, Katie was going on about the new project at work, but Ellen half-listened, preferring to people-watchimagining backstories for strangers, wondering who they really were.
Ellen, are you even listening to me? Katie nudged her lightly.
I am! You were saying something about the database and your boss.
Not my bossmy client. Honestly, youre in another world again.
Ellen smiled, about to reply, when her attention flickered to a table at the back. A tall man in an expensive shirt had suddenly turned on the blonde woman in a red dress sitting beside him. The clubs music pounded, but somehow his words cut right through the noise.
Where do you think youre going? I didnt say you could leave. Sit.
The girl froze halfway to the bar, like shed been struck. Ellen watched as she lowered her gaze and returned, obediently, to her seat. The man didnt even glance at her, continuing his conversation with a mate. His hand was slung over the back of her chair: casual, but unmistakably commanding.
Did you see that? Katie leaned in, her voice a horrified whisper. Look at himhes a tyrant. If I were her, Id run for the hills.
Ellen didnt reply, eyes fixed on the corner table. Oddly, the scene hadnt repulsed her. Instead, something in her chest fluttered with strange admiration. A proper man, she thought. Confident, assertive. Not like the dithering boys shed gone out withalways second-guessing themselves, asking her opinion on which café to choose. Here, he just took charge. And the girl maybe she loved him for it.
Dont look at me like that, Ellen said, turning away. We dont know the whole story. Maybe theyre just going through a rough patch.
A rough patch? Ellen, seriously? Hes treating her like a dog.
Youre exaggerating. Hes just got a strong personality. Some men are meant to lead.
Katie rolled her eyes. God, where do you get this stuff? Silly romance novels? Its not strength of characterits rotten character.
Ellen waved her off and sipped her drink, feeling herself grow annoyed. Katie was forever pragmatic, too logical, never believing in grand passions or the love that fills books and films. For Katie, security and reason were everything. But where was the romance in that? The butterflies? The sense youre living, truly living?
Half an hour later, Ellen went to the loo. When she came out, she bumped into the girl in the red dress, who was fixing her makeup in the mirrorher hands trembling, lips drawn tight, eyes shining with suppressed tears.
You alright? Ellen asked in a low voice.
The girl flinched, turning quickly. For an instant there was fear in her face, then a strained smile.
Yes, thanks. Its just hot in here.
I know what you mean. By the way, Im Ellen.
Hannah.
They stood in awkward silence. Ellen wanted to comfort her but couldnt find the words. Suddenly Hannah shoved her things in her bag and hurried out.
Id better go. He doesnt like to be kept waiting.
The trace of cheap perfume and something darkeran air of sadnesswas all she left behind. Ellen watched her leave, thinking Hannah didnt know how to handle herself. If it were her, Ellen, everything would be different. Shed become his muse, his inspiration. Shed understand him, support himhe wouldnt need to be so harsh.
Returning to the main bar, she found Katie already by the entrance, putting her coat on.
Off so soon?
Im knackered. You staying?
Might have one more. Im in a good mood.
Katie peered at her. Dont do anything daft, promise me.
Daft?
I saw how you looked at him, Katie said briskly. That bloke. Promise me you wont get involved if he comes over.
Ellen laughed it off. Youre being ridiculous! Hes with someone.
Exactly. With someone he bullies. Promise me.
Fine, fine. Go home, you worrywart.
They hugged and Katie went. Ellen ordered another mojito and slipped into an empty table by the window. She loved sitting alone in places like thislike a part of something electric, alive. At home, in their cramped flat in Clapham, it was always too quiet, too dull. Katie would work on her laptop, Ellen would flick through fashion magazines or watch old movies. Both twenty-two, but Ellen often felt like shed already lived a whole lifeand nothing interesting was ever going to happen again.
Her parents called from Reading once a week to check in, ask if she needed money. Ellen said all was well, that work was steady, her pay just gone up, maybe a promotion soon. In truth, at Insight Studios, she churned out business cards and flyers. Her boss didnt even know her namejust called her the girl. But Ellen couldnt bear to admit London wasnt nearly so magical as shed hoped.
She yearned for something real. Something breathtaking to rush into her lifelike in a film. Love, perhaps. None of these half-hearted dates Katies friends had set her up onpizza and chat about video games. The real thing; the kind of love that took your breath away.
Mind if I join you?
Ellen looked up. Standing there was the very man from the back table. Tall, broad-shouldered, close-cropped hair, a confident smile. A Corniche watch gleamed on his wrist.
Im actually waiting for a friend, Ellen lied.
I can see youre not. She left a while ago, didnt she? Im Andrew. He offered his hand, and Ellen shook it without thinking. His grip was strong and warm.
Ellen.
Lovely namequite suits you.
He sat without waiting for an invitation, and Ellen felt a prickle of irritationbut she didnt tell him to leave. She was curious. And, she had to admit, she liked that hed noticed her.
Wont your girlfriend mind? she asked, nodding towards the table, where Hannah was now glumly absorbed in her phone.
Andrew glanced over, indifferent. Not my girlfriend. Just a friend. Were splitting up, to be honestjust cant see eye to eye.
I see.
Are you here on your own?
With my mate, but she left early. Tired.
Not tired yourself?
No. I enjoy places like these. Its fascinatingwatching people.
Andrew smiled, showing straight white teethhis smile made his face almost handsome.
I like watching people too. Especially interesting ones. You, for example. Sitting here by yourself, gazing out, like the lead in some film. I just knew I had to meet you.
Ellen felt her cheeks flush. No one had ever said such things to her before. She dropped her gaze, swirling the straw in her glass.
Is this how you usually chat up women?
Only if theyre worth it.
They talked until the bar closed. Andrew spoke of his work at a company importing European tech, his business trips, his brand-new silver Vauxhall. Ellen listened, spellbound. So confident, so successful. She felt like a little girla nobodybeside him.
As closing time neared, Andrew walked her to a cab, took her number and promised to call the next day. Ellen rode home grinning, his words ringing in her ears: Youre interesting. Maybe this was it, she thought. The beginning of the story shed always dreamed of.
Katie was asleep when Ellen returned. She changed quietly, crawled into bed and lay awake, reliving every moment of their conversation.
Andrew called, right on the dot at noon the next day. His voice was bright, almost merry.
Good morning, Ellen. Sleep well?
Yes, thanks.
Ive been thinking about you. Can I take you to dinner tonight? Are you free?
Ellen froze. Shed made plans with Katiefilm and pizza. But God, she wanted to see Andrew again.
Yes, Im free.
Perfect. Ill pick you up at seven. Text me your address.
He rang off without waiting for her reply. Ellen looked at her phone and chuckled. So commanding. Yet somehow, she didnt mind. It felt sort of nicehe knew what he wanted.
That evening, Katie watched her try on a third dress with disbelief.
Seriously? With him? Ellen, you promised
I didnt promise. And its just dinner. Hes interesting.
Interesting? I saw how he treated that other girl.
Theyre breaking up. He told me so. Didnt get on.
Katie snorted. She probably didnt fancy being led on a leash. Ellen, I have a bad feeling. Please, dont.
Stop it, Katie. You always see the worst. Its only dinner, not a marriage proposal.
Just keep your wits about you, alright? If anything goes wrongcall me.
Ellen noddedthough she knew she never would. Katie was too cautious to understand that sometimes, you have to risk something worthwhile.
Andrew arrived at seven sharp in his shining new Vauxhall. He opened the door for her, helped her in, and Ellen felt like a princess. They drove to a posh restaurant in Marylebone, where Andrew clearly was a regular. The staff were all deference, eyes flickering with recognition.
Over dinner he was charming, attentive, ordering a fine French wine she sipped delicately, not wanting to get tipsy. He told travel stories, cracked jokes; Ellen thought he was perfectthe kind of man men should be: strong, smart, attractive.
Tell me about yourself, he asked during dessert. What do you do?
Im a designer. Junior position for now, but I hope
A designer? Thats fascinating. Must have a real eye for things.
Ellen blushed. I try.
Why a junior role? You obviously have talent. Is it just confidence?
Probably. Not great at self-promotion.
Thats wrong, Ellen. You have to put yourself forward, or people walk all over you. I can helpknow people in advertising and design, if you want.
Really? That would be amazing.
Of course. I see your potential. Youre clever, beautiful, talented. You need someone to believe in you and push you.
Ellen glowed inside. Here he wasthe one who understood, who saw what others didnt.
The night ended late. Andrew dropped her home, kissed her tenderly on the cheek and promised to call the next day.
How was it? Katie asked cautiously as Ellen drifted in.
Wonderful. Hes extraordinary, Katie. You were wrong about him.
Katie just sighed and buried herself in her book. Ellen flopped onto her bed, heart fluttering. She dreamed of fine restaurants, silver cars, and Andrews admiring gaze.
Over the coming weeks, life felt dreamlike. Andrew called daily, invited her on dates, sent flowers, took her to shows and galleries. Ellen felt like the star of a romantic novel. He showered her with compliments, said she was special, claimed hed never met anyone who just got him like her.
Katie, seeing Ellen get ready for yet another date, frowned. One morning, she finally snapped.
You do realise this is… weird, right?
Weird how?
He calls ten times a day, wants to know where you are, who youre with. That isnt normal.
Thats caring! He worries, thats all.
Thats control, Ellen. Hes stealing your life. Youve stopped coming out with us, dropped old mates, even skip late shifts for him.
Because I want to be with him!
He likes owning you, thats what he likes.
Oh, Katie, stop. Youre just jealous.
It slipped out before Ellen could stop herself. Katie went pale.
Jealous, am I? Seriously?
I didnt mean
Yes, you did. You think that just because I dont have your perfect man, Im jealous? Im worried about you. But if you wont listen, then fine. Do as you like.
Katie slammed the flat door on her way out. Left alone, Ellens chest ached. Why couldnt Katie be happy for her? Why was everyone always trying to cloud her happiness?
That evening, Andrew brought her a sleek black dress in a glossy box.
Try it on, he said. Were going to a do with my business partners tonight.
Tonight? I wasnt expecting
No need to prepare. You look lovely already. Just do your hair and lets go.
Ellens plans for the evening vanished. She changed quickly, letting Andrews approval wash over her.
The party passed in a blur of unfamiliar faces. Andrew introduced her as his girlfriend, held her hand tightly, never letting her out of sight. Ellen smiled, kept up the small talk, but the effort left her drained.
Back home, Andrew praised her appearance, then frowned.
You were chatting quite a lot with my mate Tony. I didnt like how he looked at you.
Tony? We were just talking shop.
I know. But I dont want other men thinking youre available. Youre mineI dont share.
Ellens stomach twisted. It sounded like love, but there was something hard in his tone.
Next time, be more careful, he said, kissing her. Dont make people think they stand a chance.
Ellen nodded, silent. She mulled his words all evening. Why did they leave her so unsettled?
After three months, she all but moved in with Andrew. The flat was stunningspacious, glass-walled, filled with fancy furniture. He said he couldnt stand being apart. Ellen agreed. Katie just handed her a spare set of keys.
Keep these. Just in case.
Ellen was sure shed never need them. Life with Andrew felt like a beautiful dream. He looked after her, bought her whatever she wanted, took her away on weekends. But small grievances crept inthings she tried not to dwell on.
She once came home in jeans and a baggy tee; Andrew wrinkled his nose.
Did you come from a building site?
Nojust work. Im comfortable like this.
It might be comfy, but it looks dreadful. Youre a lady, not a navvy. I buy you dresses for a reason. Wear them.
But I work better in jeans.
Fine at work, but not at home. I dont want to see you looking like that.
Ellen fell quiet, stung. Maybe he was right. She began changing for him, always in dresseseven round the flat.
Then he moved on to her friends.
That Katies a bad influence.
What? Why?
Shes too independent, too big for her boots. You act up after seeing her. It gets on my nerves.
Shes my best mate.
Im not saying you cant see her. But you give her too much time.
Ellen started turning down Katies invitations, then stopped seeing her altogether.
Work became an issue too. Andrew said Insight Studios was a joke, unworthy of her; she should quit, that he could provide for them both.
But I like working, Ellen objected.
You want independence, is that it? Dont you trust me?
His voice was gentle, but she could hear the disappointment. Ellen felt terrible. Maybe he was right. She quit within a month. Andrew was thrilled, cooked a special dinner, toasted her new freedom. Ellen smiled, but all she felt was emptiness.
Katie rang when she found out.
You gave up your job? Why?
Andrews right. Ill find something better soon.
When?
Sometime. Dont worry.
I am worried. Lets meet. Just for a chat.
Not tonight, sorryAndrews got plans.
Tomorrow?
Ill call you, okay?
She never called. Days blurred into each other. Ellen fell into the rhythm of Andrews life, doing as he liked. She forgot the last time shed chosen something for herselfmeeting a friend, pursuing a hobby, even what she wanted for tea. She stopped being a person; she was an accessory.
Sometimes she missed the old Ellenthe one who cracked jokes in pubs with Katie, who stayed up late sewing dresses, who dreamt of making it as a designer. But she pushed those thoughts away. Selfishness, she told herself. Andrew did so much for her; she owed him gratitude.
One day, she caved to a fleeting impulse: Katie texted, saying shed be nearby and suggesting a quick catch-up. Ellen, for once, agreedand didnt tell Andrew. She figured shed pop out and be home before he even noticed.
They met at a snug coffee shop. Katie looked sharp and self-assured in a tailored suit; Ellen felt shabby, drab.
Hi, Katie wrapped her in a big hug. God, I missed you.
Me too.
They sat, ordered coffee. Katies eyes were searching, shrewd.
How are you, really?
Fine. Its all fine.
Dont lie. I can see its not.
Ellen lowered her gaze, wanting to pour out her heart about Andrews controlhow she couldnt set foot in a shop without his say-so, how he policed her friends, her hobbies, her clothes. But admitting it aloud would mean shed failedthat Katie had been right.
Just tired, you know. Life stuff.
If you ever need to leave, you know youve always got somewhere. The flats still yours, you know. Come back anytime.
Thanks, Katie. But Im okay. Really.
Katie sighed. Just promise me youll reply to my texts. Thats all.
Promise.
They parted, Ellen hurrying home before Andrew noticed her absence. But he was there, waitingface dark, phone in hand.
Whereve you been?
Shop.
Dont lie. I called you three timesno answer.
Sorry, phone was on silent.
He stepped closer; Ellen shrank away.
Im asking where you were.
Coffee. Met up with Katie.
The same Katie I asked you not to see?
She was nearby, I couldnt say no.
Couldnt, or wouldnt?
Shes my friend, Andrew. Honestjust coffee.
What did you talk about? Me? How hard your life is?
No! We barely even mentioned you.
He gripped her shoulders hard, bruising.
Dont lie to me. Katies always turned you against meshes jealous.
Andrew, youre hurting me.
He dropped his hands suddenly and turned away.
I do everything for youprovide, care, treat you. And you sneak around with people who despise me. Thats betrayal, Ellen.
Im sorry. I didnt mean to upset you.
Then why hide it? Why be scared?
Because I knew you wouldnt like it.
He looked at her coldly. I dont mind you having friends. I mind you lying. Remember that.
Ellen nodded. Andrew retreated to the bedroom. Only then did she finally let the tears fallquiet, so he wouldnt hear. It wasnt him she feared, so much as the realisation that Katie had been right. She had caged herself.
That night they didnt speak. In the morning, Andrew left, not saying goodbye. Ellen sat in the kitchen with cold tea, staring at the sky. She wanted to call Katie and ask her to come take her away. Instead, she texted Andrew: Sorry. I wont do it again.
He replied an hour later: Fine. Well talk tonight.
That evening he returned with a huge bouquet and a box of chocolates, wrapped her up, whispered that he loved her, said he just worried about her. Ellen rested her head on his chest, grateful the storm had passed. But deep down, she knew something had broken for good.
A year passed. Then another. Ellen and Andrew married. A grand wedding in a country manor; her family came down from Reading, proud and blissful. Her mother cried, hugging Ellen: Youve found a real man, darling. Hell care for you. Katie wasnt invited. Andrew forbade it. Katie texted a brief, Congratulations. Im here if you need me. Ellen didnt reply.
Ellen had a daughter, Mary. Andrew was delightedbought them a big flat in Hampstead, hired a nanny. Ellen doted on Marythe only pure thing in her world. But slowly, she lost herself altogether.
Andrew now controlled everythingthe money, Ellens phone, her friendships, her clothes. She had to show itemised receipts for heavens sake. Arguments were chillynot shouting, but cold, slicing words.
One day, she tried quietly to get a joba vacancy as a designer. She got the offer, but when she told Andrew, he was unmoved.
Why do you need a job?
I want to do something that matters. I want to work.
You matter hereas Marys mother, as my wife. Isnt that enough?
It is, but… She faltered.
Youre bored with me, is that it? You want to find new friends? New men?
No, youre being silly. Im not running away!
Then give it up. Call and tell them youve changed your mind. Or Ill do it for you.
Ellen rang them. Apologised, blamed family matters. Afterwards she wept. Andrew hugged her.
Dont cry. You dont need that job; youve got Mary and me.
But it was no longer enough. The emptiness inside her grew. She barely recognised herself in the mirrorwashed-out face, tired eyes, mouth prim and hard. The fun, dreamy Ellen whod sewn her own dresses, giggled with Katie, pined for creative successthat girl was gone. All that remained was a pale, obedient shadow.
Years passed. Mary turned seven; she went to a good school. Andrew was a stern father, fair as he called itbut Ellen watched her daughter freeze whenever Andrew entered a room. It broke her heart. She knew it was her silence, her example, that had taught Mary to be afraid.
One Saturday, Ellen took Mary to Brent Cross for new school shoes. Mary twirled in front of the shops mirror. Ellen clutched the shopping list Andrew had written: milk, bread, chicken, vegetablesevery detail dictated.
Ellen?
She turned. It was Katieolder, but still striking, confident, chic short hair, expensive bag slung over her shoulder. Ellen felt a flush of shame for her own tired appearance.
Katie
Suddenly, Ellen was blinking away tears as Katie hugged her. They caught up, went up to the coffee shop with Mary, who barely said a word.
Katies eyes were full of concern. Sohows life?
All good, really.
Dont fob me off. If you ever want out, Ellen, Ill help you. Ive got a job, some savings, contactsyoud never be alone.
Ellen forced a smile. Thank you, but honestly, Im fine. Marys happy, Andrews a good dad.
A good dad? Katie shook her head sadly. Just promise mestay in touch. My number hasnt changed.
Ellen nodded, knowing she wouldnt ring. They parted, Katies face pained with pity. At the shopping centre exit, Ellens heart sank at the sight of their familiar Vauxhall. Andrew was there, cheerful as ever, scooping Mary into his arms.
He glanced at Ellen. Who were you talking to upstairs?
She hesitated.
Who was it, Ellen?
An old friend. Ran into her by accident.
Katie?
She didnt reply. He nodded, as if that confirmed everything.
Lets go home.
In the car, Ellen stared out at the rain. Shed face Andrews grilling latershed apologise, promise it wouldnt happen again, and things would carry on.
That evening, he summoned her to the lounge after Mary went to bed.
I dont want you seeing Katie again, he said quietly.
It was just coincidence. I
You couldve just said hello and moved on, but instead you sat down for coffee.
Shes an old friend.
Was an old friend. Your life is here now.
Why do you always react like this? Its just coffee!
He gave her a stony look. Because I know what she says to youtelling you to leave, that Im a monster. She wants us to split. Shes always put ideas in your head.
She said nothing like that.
Dont lie, Ellen. I can tell.
Ellen looked at her hands, unwilling to fight. Andrew squeezed her fingers hard.
I love you, he said, but I wont let anyone ruin us. Promise youll never see her again.
Ellen eyed him, remembering the last time hed shown her warmth with no strings. She couldnt remember. But she nodded, I promise.
He kissed her forehead and left. Ellen sat in the half-dark, knees hugged to her chest, crying soundlessly. Later, she gazed into the mirror at a strangerthirty-five years old, pallid, tired-eyed.
Shed given herself away inch by inchfriends, career, dreams, opinions. Shed become perfectly accommodating. And now, when she peered inside, there was nothing but emptiness.
Shed thought love meant self-sacrifice. That a real man was tough and commanding. That if she were ideal, hed become the man she dreamed of. But he hadnt improved; hed grown worse. And shed vanished.
Ellen kissed Mary goodnight, lay awake as Andrew pressed close, unresponding. Her mind kept whispering: I chose this. I built my own cage, and now its too late to break free.
Life carried on: breakfasts, the school run, chores, days blending into one another. The phone rangan unknown number.
Hello?
Ellen, its Katie.
How did you get my new number?
You gave it to me. I just never used it. I know he wouldnt like it, but Ive stopped caring. I need to see you.
I cant, Katie. Andrew doesnt want me seeing you.
And what do you want?
The question, so simple, left her speechless.
I dont know.
Then lets meet. No pressure. Just talk, Ill listen. Today, three oclock, same café?
Alright.
Ellen sat in the café gripping a lukewarm cappuccino. Katie arrived on time, ever attentive.
One question, Ellen. Are you happy?
She stared at her cup for a long moment. Then shook her head.
No.
One word, and the wall shed built for years collapsed. Tears streamed down unchecked. Katie got up and wrapped her in a hug.
Its alright. Itll be alright.
It wont. Ellen sobbed. I ruined everything. My own fault.
Youre not at fault.
I amyou warned me, way back, and I thought I knew better. I believed love could change him.
But it didnt?
Ellens laugh was brittle. He got worse. Or maybe I just stopped pretending. Katie, he controls everything. Im not me anymore. I just exist.
Katie squeezed her again. Then leave. I’ll helpnew place, job, whatever. Youre not alone.
Im scared.
Of what?
Of him. Of myself. That hell take Mary. Or Ill collapse on my own. Ive been with him so long, I dont know how to be me.
Youll learn. Youre stronger than you think.
No, Im not. If I was, Id have gone years ago.
Its not about strength. It’s about readiness. Maybe youre ready now?
Ellen wiped her face. I need to think.
Promise youll stay in touch?
Promise.
They said goodbye; Ellen pondered what shed confessed. For the first time in years, shed admitted she was miserable. She wanted to leave. But wanting and doing were miles apart.
Back home, Andrew grilled her. Where had she been? Why so long? Ellen lied, but it didnt matter. He saw straight through her.
I went to see Katie, she finally whispered.
Silence, then a cruel laugh. You promised me yesterdaynot even twenty-four hours, and you run off again.
Ellen, for once, did not shrink back. The words spilled out raw:
You never listen, Andrew. You only care about what you want. Im nothing nowjust a shadow.
He seized her wrist, squeezing painfully.
Sick of this life, are you? Sick of what Ive given you? You ungrateful
Youre not doing it for me! You made me what you wanted: silent, compliant, nothing. But Im done being your puppet.
He shoved her away, and Ellen hit the wall, a ripple of pain shooting up her back. This time, though, she didn’t cry. She looked up and sawhe no longer frightened her.
Youll regret this, Ellen.
I already do. But not what I saidthe years I lost being silent.
He left; she sat on the floor, trembling but calm. She had finally spoken her truth.
She went to the bathroom, spotted a darkening bruise on her cheek but living eyes gazed back at her at last. She picked up her phone: Please help me, Katie.
The reply was instant: Im on my way.
Within half an hour, Katie was at the door. Seeing the bruise, she gasped, Did he hit you?
No. I fell. Doesnt matter. Please lets just go while hes still out.
And Mary?
Shes at school. Ill collect her later, justlets get out.
Together, they packed a bag, essentials only. Andrew emerged from his study as they finished.
Youre going?
Yes, she said.
With Mary staying here.
No. Ill take her.
Try it, and Ill get the best barristers. Youll lose, I promise.
Katie stepped forward. Dont you dare threaten her. We know our rights.
Rights? Andrew sneered. Money decides, and I have plenty.
Ellen met his gaze. Im taking Mary with me. Go ontry and stop me.
She turned away. Katie followed. Andrews cold voice trailed after them: Youll regret it, Ellen.
But Ellen kept walking.
They fetched Mary from school. Were staying with Auntie Katie for a while, Ellen murmured.
Andrew rang, texted, even showed up once yelling outside Katies. Police warned him off. Ellen found work at a design agency; it wasnt glamorous but it was hers. She began to heal. The case for custody would not be quickAndrew fought viciously, playing every ugly card. But Katie was at her side, practical and loyal.
One night, sewing at the table, Ellen wondered aloud, How did it come to this? Back that night at the pub
Katie smiled sadly. You needed the dream. The fairytale. Weve all been there.
I lost myself for so long.
Youre coming back.
Only because you waited for me.
I always will.
Six months on, the court ruled in Ellens favour. She moved to her own small flat with Mary, kept her job, rebuilt her life stitch by stitch. Her new colleagues, even her friendslong-lostgreeted her return with easy affection. The shadows faded. She cut her hair short and wore bright colours; she was herself againolder, wiser, still a dreamer.
One afternoon, she ran into Andrew in the street. He was with another, younger womanquiet, pretty, wide-eyed. Ellen caught his look, nodded and walked on. For him, she was nothing now.
For herself, she was everything.
Sitting in a café with Katie, their lives had both changedKatie now married, expectant. Ellen stirred her coffee slowly.
Do you ever wish you could go backto that night? Katie asked.
Sometimes. Wish I could warn myself. Save those lost years.
Youd just have found the lesson elsewhere, Katie said gently. You needed to learn about real lovethat it isnt surrender or subservience, but respect, trust, freedom. If it isnt free, it isnt love.
Ellen smiled, resolutely. Ill tell Mary that one day, when she grows upso she never repeats my mistakes.
They finished their drinks. Ellen left, the autumn wind brisk and alive around her. Yes, shed lost years. Yes, the pain lingered. Yet she had survived. Shed come home to herself.
Somewhere, in some other glass-walled flat, another young woman waited, thinking she could change him. Believing that if only she loved hard enough, it would all work out. Ellen could only hope shed realise the truth sooner.
As long as women chase storybook dreams, men like Andrew will thrive. The only way out is to stop believing in fairytalesand start believing in yourself.
