Loneliness
Emily stood at the end of the queue, the stablehand was making advances, and she turned him away. Better a proper marriage than a freeofcharge promise that would last a lifetime.
Come on, youre all alone, Blythe? a voice snarled from the corner. A man shouldnt be solitary; a woman is always supposed to have a husband. Otherwise it feels wrong. And if no one sees you, youll just become invisible. Do you know what solitude is?
Know what? Blythe snapped, her smile already cracked by the endless hum of the shops fluorescent lights.
Solitude is a nightmare! Masha laughed, waving her hand as if it were a cheap curtain, oblivious to the tension that hung between them. Its like when youre thirsty and theres no water to give. Kids, youre the only ones left to drink it!
Where? Blythe asked, her voice trembling.
In Nottingham! she finally muttered, realizing the other womans laugh was a thin veil over something deeper. Youll have to endure everything, and Ill be watching over you. Its hard for one, but the soul is a lonely bird. Lets get to know each other, shall we? Blythe, the man is decent. And who knowsmaybe a decent fellow will appear and sweep you off your feet
Blythe had been on her own for about ten years. The landlord, her benefactor, the one she called Sir, had arrived ten years ago, dragging a load of straw and old wood. Hed come once, mostly for business. When Blythe learned of his presence, she directed her husband to a spare bedroom, then to their two chickens. Though the husband tried to convince her that once in a while is enough and nothing strange happens without a spark, he kept pounding his fists on the kitchen table, shedding cheap, masculine tears. By then, the conflict was already over.
The husband entered the house with a gentlemans air, leaving the chicken coop to his former wife and the two children to a thin pension. But the kids grew up and scattered to various corners. The eldest son stayed and worked in Manchester. The daughter soon married and moved abroad with her husband. And Emily was left alone in a cramped twobed flat in the heart of London.
Living alone didnt bother her at all. She built a small business, a modest profession that paid the bills, and she settled into a quiet routine, entertaining the occasional neighbour and her sister Masha. Though her intellect wasnt particularly high, she always found something to occupy her mind and kept life from getting dull. She read a lot, swam, took yoga, loved traveling, and now and then visited the local pub with friends. In short, she lived as pleased as she could.
Until the day Masha finally decided to settle her own fate
Listen to me, Blythe, Masha said, leaning in. A good man, not a stranger, in his sixties, and youve got seven years of friendship left. A spacious house, a decent estate, cows, goats, pigs, and chickensnothing missing! Its healthy food, youll have milk, eggs, meat. Youll live for a hundred years, I promise! And the man is charming, welleducated, and everything he says sounds like it came from a book. Blythe, give it a try. Lets get to know each other, yeah? she pleaded, as Emilys resolve wavered.
Fine, Masha, Ill meet this gentleman. But Im not promising anything, Emily replied.
They say a deal on a piece of land never changes, Masha thought. So she didnt let the paperwork sit in a drawer for long, but quickly arranged a meeting between her sister and the farmer.
The farmer turned out to be more than merely a workhorse. Tall, muscular, dressed in sturdy boots and a clean shirt, his hands were scarred but his nails were trimmed. He spoke softly, yet his voice carried weight. He was a joker, a bit of a rogue, and his name was undeniably EnglishEdward.
After the first encounter, a second one followed, and soon Edward was on Blythes mind constantly. She began to imagine that perhaps a true partnership could heal her lonely heart. Edward, however, stayed vague about any commitment. Were still young, Blythe, he said, lets travel together and see where it leads.
Blythe wrote Edward a message, telling him she no longer wanted to meet, that she would refuse his proposal of marriage. Maybe some man works hard, but I dont need that, she typed, He never showed any genuine interest, Blythe. Hes not just looking for a wife; he wants a servant. Ill stay in my solitude. And when you ask for a drink of water on a hot day, not everyone wants to drink it.
The argument between Blythe and Masha stretched for hours. Blythe almost wept from the grief of such a mans rejection, yet the promise of a simple life on a farm with chickens, cows, and a modest plot of land seemed to linger. She imagined the barn, the fields, the gentle clucking of hens, the smell of fresh milk, and the warmth of a modest cottage that could be hers.
She called Edward that evening at eight, poured herself a coffee with a biscuit, and stared out the window. She hadnt seen her children in ages; she ought to call her son, and arrange a birthday for her daughter. She also needed to buy a small bag for the cheap winter coat shed ordered. And she had to ring Lena, the local shopkeeper, to set a meeting
That was all she needed, she thought, as the night settled over the city. The whole of England seemed to whisper that a life on a modest farm, with a few animals and a steady income, could be enough for Emily. She would rise each morning, tend to the crops, milk the cows, collect the eggs, and perhaps, just perhaps, find peace in that simple rhythm. She would not need a mans promise to feel whole.
