Elspeth’s mother gives birth to her late one night, alone and without a husband. In the late 1990s this feels like a scandal that excites nosy neighbours more than anyone elsewho could possibly be interested?
They spend all their years in a single London flat. Her mother treats Elspeth as personal property, like a television draped with a velvet cloth, a tiny stage hidden behind a curtain.
Elspeth finishes school, graduates from university with a dull economics degree that her mother recommends, and takes a job teaching at a commercial college. Her students dislike her, and she fears themnoisy, uncommunicative, disobedient.
After each lesson she returns home, dines with her mother, then sits in front of the TV. Her mother watches either the little stage or Elspeths slender fingers working knitting needles, counting the purl and knit stitches in her head.
Whenever a comedy or satire program airs, her mother laughs loudly, teasing Elspeth as if trying to repay the loneliness she created.
Elspeths friends are Mabel, a former classmate, and Ada, her neighbour. They meet occasionally, but never after ten oclock, otherwise her mother loses her temper. When the girls get boyfriends, the visits become rarer and shorter. Elspeth has no boyfriends, but she is in love. The object of her affection is Basil, nicknamed Bonaparte at school because of his odd triangular hat.
Basil lives nearby and seems to have a girlfriend of his own. Elspeth worrieswhat can she do when the man she secretly sighs for never notices her? Her mother describes her as plainfaced, shy, a trait she says is unusual for a teenage girl.
Her whole life, since university, feels, to put it bluntly, unenviable.
When Elspeth turns twenty, her mother marks the occasion with a celebratory lunch and allows her to invite friendsonly girls, no boys. The women arrive dressed up, cheerful, with flowers and presents, but the meal turns into a drab recital of her mothers youthful anecdotes.
The table bears salads heavy with mayonnaise, peas staring at the guests like curious peas. A crystal decanter holds dry white wine, and the hot dish is a roast with mushrooms.
The girls eat well, rush home without waiting for the honeycake, which her mother botches. They share tea and the ruined cake together, and Elspeth, eyes swollen with tears, puts on a coat and says she will go for a walk. The celebration leaves her cold.
She walks to Basils house hoping to see him, but he isnt there. Chatty neighbours on a bench tell her he has gone to work in another town. The circle of her loneliness should close, but something unexpected happens.
A sudden rain forces her to quicken her pace, and a car stops beside her. The door opens and a stranger offers her a lift.
His name is Michael. Learning that it is Elspeths birthday, he drives her to a café and buys her a coffee.
Everything could be fine, but Michael is not her type, he talks too much andhes married. His wife is away on a business trip, leaving him lonely. After a glass of champagne and a slice of cake, Michael feels comfortable enough to invite Elspeth to his flat.
If she were more solitary than he is, she would refuse, but the ringing in her head, her mothers dull company, and the warm hands of a barelyknown man play a cruel joke: she accepts.
At around midnight she awakens on a strangers sofa under a prickly blanket, terrified. Nothing that night fits the logical pattern of a respectable young womans life. Michael sits in the kitchen drinking tea.
She dresses quickly; he follows, apologetic and emptypromised. He attempts a friendly kiss, she pushes him away and darts home, rejecting even a lift.
Her mother lies turned toward the wall. Over the next three days Elspeth cares for her, giving her a homemade peony tincture. Her mother looks pale, skips work on sick leave, and barely talks, claiming Elspeth gave her a heart attack.
She does not yet know that her immoral act will finally break her. It gnaws at her and at Elspeth from within.
Fortunately, her mothers friend invites them to a country house to breathe fresh air and taste nature. The mother returns smiling, recovered, and life settles back into its old rhythm.
Basil returns to his hometown when Elspeth is already thirty, arriving with his wife and two children.
Elspeth clings to the hope that they will meet again someday, perhaps fate will finally bring them together. Until then, her loneliness has become a way of life, and the years keep slipping by.
Her mother retires, and finally finds a companionPeter, a greyhaired, nearsighted man with thick glasses. He walks her in the park and unabashedly asks the almostfortyyearold Elspeth, Wheres your destined one, love? Dont follow mums example.
She wants to answer but thinks better of it; any reply would be careless, and there are no other words. He keeps dropping by until her mother passes away. This time neither the peony tincture nor doctors care can help; her mother quietly slips away and leaves this world.
Elspeth and Peter bury her together. The loss hits Elspeth hard; only her friends, who abandon their own families, stay by her side. Peter, thankfully, disappears from her house.
One late evening a knock sounds at the flat. Could it be that old troublemaker? Elspeth thinks. At the door stands Basil, eyes frantic, forehead creased with worry.
She looks a messface still puffy from tears, her mothers nightgown, slippers, hair a tangled crows nest. She should have warned him!
Sorry, Basil says, scanning her from head to toe. Mabel mentioned your grief; I didnt know.
She leads him to the kitchen, then quickly changes into sportswear and tidies her hair. Fighting the look on her face is useless; he will have to endure it.
While dressing she realises why he is here: she had recently confessed to Mabel that shes been in love with Basil Bonaparte since schoola foolish confession. She told him everything, and now he stands at her door, another married man in her life, unnecessary and useless.
They sip tea in silence. Eventually Basil speaks about himself, and she watches him, wondering, Where are my seventeen years?
He talks about his notsohappy marriage, children who adore their mother more than him, and despite outward prosperity, his soul is lonely.
Listen, she says as she prepares to leave, it would be terrible if you stay.
He smiles faintly.
Like Bonaparte on SaintHelena? he jokes weakly.
Everyone has their own harbour in this life, Basil, Elspeth replies.
A year later the prophecy fulfills itself. Basils son leaves for university, his wife separates and takes their daughter. He comes to Elspeth, looking worn and hollow, and asks, Is there a berth available?
She looks at his prematurely grey temples, dim eyes, trembling hands, and answers, Its free.
Loneliness retreats, fading into oblivion. Her love finally takes shape, wrapping Basil in care, unspent warmth, and a tenderness reserved just for him.
Did he love her? She never asks herself, leaving the answer unanswered. One thing is clear: happiness lives where love is cherished and valued. Basil knows how to love, and at last he makes Elspeth both beautiful and truly happy.
