FAMILY GATHERING
Mum said were hosting New Years at ours again this year, my eyes were gleaming with excitement the whole family together! Brilliant, isnt it?!
Dreadful! Emily couldnt help herself.
What? I stared at my wife, puzzled. Youre not pleased?
What should I be pleased about? Emilys eyes welled up, threatening to spill over. Because I shant have a proper celebration again? For New Year, Ill be chained to the cooker, then dashing around like mad trying to satisfy everyone?
But Emily, its a family celebration, I insisted, oblivious to what she was so upset about. Isnt it lovely having a big family? Its what the holidays are for getting together and having a laugh.
Oh, is it? So your parents, your brother and his wife, your sister with her husband and kids one little and one even littler all have to pile in here?
Why not? Last year they all had a smashing time. They talked about it all year.
Of course they did. Ever occur to anyone that I didnt exactly have the time of my life? All I was chef, scullery maid, waitress, cleaner. I spent weeks shopping, days cooking, then played dogsbody all night. No wonder they remembered it fondly! I, on the other hand, couldnt think straight for a week afterwards. Do you have any idea what its like preparing food for thirteen people? Its not a caper!
Thirteen? Are you counting the kids?
Dont children eat? Dont they need feeding too? Did your brother or sister bring anything along for them?
Wouldnt be much point in coming round then, would it? I spluttered.
Exactly! All your lot want is a knees-up, a chinwag and a rest for themselves. I get it. But what about me? I want to actually enjoy New Years too! Why dont you ever think of that?
I do! I thought you were happy about it last time
You thought wrong. I worked really hard to hide my exhaustion but I ended up missing the countdown, stuck in the kitchen.
Youre exaggerating, Emily. You just dont want my family here for New Years.
Im not exaggerating. And yes: I do not want a houseful again.
So what do you actually want?
I want a celebration with just us: you, me and our child. You get that? Just our family!
But my parents and siblings theyre family too. Its tradition! I cant just turn my back on them.
Rubbish tradition! Emilys patience snapped. Shall we invite my parents, my sister, her husband and kids too? We have traditions as well, you know! Or did you think my lot never celebrated together?
Well, Ive never seen it. They only ever call. It seems like youre not even a real family
Go on say it! Emilys eyes flashed.
You feel like strangers, I managed, searching for the right words. From what I know, your sister celebrates with just her household.
Not alone with her family! Emily retorted, exasperated. Honestly, when we were little we had New Years with our parents. Once we married, we made our own traditions. We visit mum and dad at Christmas, as you know. Why cant we visit yours on the first of January? Must I run myself ragged for your lots tradition? If you all care so much, why cant someone else host for once? Five years weve been married your sisters never had everyone round!
Shes got young kids! I tried to defend her.
So has ours! Olivers only two was just a year old last time and that didnt stop your clan! None of them even offered to lend a hand! They just had a blast. Look, Tom Im not standing for it. I wont play host. If you all want a family do, organise it yourselves.
Youre serious? I scowled.
I am. I wont budge on this.
So what I think doesnt matter to you?
In this, no. You dont do a thing for these parties. What does your opinion matter?
Fine. Ill tell them youre against it, I said, half hoping shed stop me.
Yes, do, Emily replied stoutly.
You realise what this means?
What?
Theyll get offended. All of them.
Thats their issue.
Itll be our issue, Emily. Not wise to fall out with family.
If thats how they choose it, so be it.
I dont want a row with them!
Then dont. Toast in the New Year with them. Its your precious tradition, after all. There was more than a hint of sarcasm as Emily said it. Wouldnt want your parents telling you off for breaking it.
With them? I stifled a sting. So youre happy to see in the New Year without me?
I am. Emilys face was unreadable.
And that delights you, does it?
Think what you like. You never listen anyway.
And youre any better?
Oh, dont start. I know how to talk circles too. If youre still not clear: no guests this New Year. Tell your family. If you cant refuse, go celebrate with them. Dont worry about me: Ill make my own celebration.
As you wish, I muttered, then stormed from the room.
What happened next was hardly surprising.
Mum was furious to hear from me that Emily was turning down the family Well, thats clear enough. You can tell her we shant set foot in your house again!
My brother and sister were grumpy but soon cheered up our parents invited everyone to theirs.
Emily, when I relayed my mums verdict, only shrugged: Honestly, theyre like kids. And she didnt mention it again.
***
Saturday, 31st December, I was up at the crack of dawn packing bags.
Where are you off to so early? Emily mumbled, half asleep.
Mum wants help at theirs, I said.
Got it, Emily smiled, When shall we expect you back?
Probably tomorrow. Ill sleep over. Dont want to wake you at five in the morning, I added gloomily. Some part of me still wished things would change.
Alright. She sounded perfectly calm, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
The whole day, Emily took things slow.
She got up, savoured a cup of fresh, aromatic coffee.
Checked her phone, scrolled through social media, sent off a few greetings.
When Oliver woke, she gave him breakfast and took him for a walk.
It was truly wintry outside: a crisp frost, pathways dusted with snow
They came home, both red-cheeked, happy and hungry. Oliver wolfed down cheese scones.
During his afternoon nap, Emily whipped up some sandwiches and a few salads, marinated a bit of meat (shed need to feed me the next day), then decorated the little fake tree and hung up the fairy lights. She loved those most: flickering bulbs instantly made the house feel magical, like a winter wonderland.
Oliver woke and flirted for attention.
Emily read with him, dipped into picture books and fairytales. She helped him build a house to the sky, and happily watched cartoons together. When it was dark, the fairy lights seemed to shine even brighter, as if the whole sitting room had been sprinkled with enchantment.
She kept him company, half-watching the Christmas special she liked.
Midnight drew near, as it always does.
By nine, Emily tucked Oliver into bed.
Then she rang her parents, her sister, and two closest friends. She always phoned her loved ones sending a picture just didnt sit right with her.
A little more than an hour to go till midnight.
Emily laid her favourite white tablecloth on the coffee table. She began setting out a celebration for two.
She was sure Id turn up in the end. I love her, after all.
She got out the dishes salads, a selection of open sandwiches, fruit. Some salmon baked in the oven.
She took out the dress I always said suited her. After a glance at the clock, she put it away again.
Hes not coming, she thought. He must not care.
She popped open the champagne herself.
Poured out two glasses
At midnight she clinked them together, all alone, and made a wish:
All I really want is to be free and happy.
The next New Year, she celebrated with her parents.
Looking back at it all, I realise now how blind Id been. Family is precious, yes, but whats the point if the person you love feels left out or taken for granted? I wish Id spoken up sooner and listened better. Sometimes you need to see things through someone elses eyes to realise what truly matters.
