**A Life Gone By**
*Aunt Zoe, wheres Mikey?*
*What do you want him for?*
*We were supposed to go berry-picking this morning.*
*Hes gone off with the lads.*
*Gone?* The girls lips trembled. *But he promised*
*Listen, Tammy, why dyou keep clinging to that boy, eh? Youll be chasing after men yourself soon enough, and here you are, pestering a kid. Go on, run along with the girls. Leave Mikey be, for goodness sake.*
Zoe couldnt stand this wide-mouthed, long-legged Tammy, who stood there like a reed in the marsh. Just looking at the girl made her cringestill a child, yet so unbearable.
Tammys lips shook, tears welling in her round eyes.
*Ugh, what a nuisance,* Zoe huffed, turning away. *Stubborn little thing, wont give the lad a moments peace.*
Just then, her son, Mikey, burst from the shed.
*Where to?*
*The woods.*
*Did you clean out the pigs?*
*Yes, Mum.*
*Straw laid down?*
*Done it.*
*And the chickens*
*Mum, Ive been working since dawn! Its my holiday, and we planned thisthats why I got up early. The lads are waiting.*
*Which lads?*
*Mum, really? Just the usualDavey, Vinnie, Stevie, Pete, and Kenny.*
*No one else?*
*No, Mum. Ive got to go.*
*And that wide-mouthed oneTammyshe tagging along with a bunch of boys?*
*Mum, enough! Whats Tammy ever done? Shes my friend.*
*Friend?* Zoe grabbed his shoulder, whispering fiercely. *Dont get tangled with her, son. Shell wrap you right round her finger, mark my words.*
*Mum, whatre you on about?* He wrenched free, leaping onto his bike without a backward glance.
*Tammy! Tammy!* His voice rang out. Zoe slumped, tears spilling.
What did that girl want with her boy? A few more years, and hed be courtingthen hed drag this wide-mouthed creature home, declaring, *Mum, Dad, heres my bridelove her, wont you?* No. Never.
Wiping her face, Zoe marched to the gate. She hesitated, then set off down the lane.
Kids played in a sandpile by the fence. Zoe called to a tousle-haired boy.
*Andy, your mum home?*
*Yeah,* he mumbled, digging intently.
*Fetch her.*
*Muuuum!* he bellowed.
*Ughwas hoping hed run,* Zoe thought. *Loud as the rest of his lot.*
*Coming!* A voice answered from beyond the fence.
Out stepped AnnieAndys mother, freckled and sharp-tongued, long-legged like her daughter.
*Annie, over here.*
*Zoe, whats happened? The kids alright?* She wiped her hands on her apron anxiously.
*Nothings happenedyet. But keep your girl in check. Shes trailing after my Mikey like a lost pup.*
*What?*
*Exactly that. Chasing ladsmy boy especially.*
*Zoe, have you lost the plot? Theyre children! Running about, picking berries, fetching corn for the rabbitssame as we did!*
*Maybe you did. Not me.*
*Oh, listen to you! Who chased my brother Jake, eh? Your mum had to shoo you off with a switchthink I dont remember? I was only four years younger! Sneaking fags behind the shed, giggling at those dirty pictures, stealing kisses by the riveror did none of that happen?*
*Ive said my piece. Rein in that girl, or shell end up with a bun in the oven.*
*Like you did? Or is my Jake little Pauls real dad?*
*You daft cowwhy would I want your lot? My children are my husbands. Yours? Who even knows.*
*Oh, thats rich! Got a husband who adores me, thanks. Yours? Stuck with you out of fear. Jake dumped you, and you grabbed the first bloke whod have you.*
Zoe knew Annies tongue was sharpmost women avoided crossing her. But Zoe was no pushover.
Meanwhile, the kids, berry baskets full, dashed to the stream, stripping off clothes, splashing and laughing, carefree. No dirt in their hearts yetjust innocence.
*Whatll you be when you grow up, Pete?*
*Like me dada mechanic.*
*Tammy? A singer, I bet.*
*Why a singer?*
*All girls wanna be famous. “Five minutes, five minutes!”* Kenny mimicked a pop star.
Tammy rolled her eyes. *Ill be a pilot. Or a scientist.*
*Girls cant do that.*
*They can,* Stevie said firmly.
Zoe fought to pry Mikey from Tammys grip. Relief came when he left for the army. Shed turn away whenever she spotted that girl.
Once, Tammy arrived in tears. *Aunt Zoe, has Mikey written?*
*Course he hasgot one yesterday.*
*Not to me.* Her lips quivered.
*Well, maybe he doesnt want to.*
*But he always*
*What dyou want from me?*
Tammy hunched, walking off.
*Found someone else out there,* Zoe called after her.
At Gennies wedding, the groom beamedKenny, Mikeys mate, overjoyed when Tammy proposed, on one condition: theyd move to the city. Kenny agreedhed loved her forever, though shed only ever had eyes for Mikey.
Zoe rejoicedfinally free of that girl.
Mikeys letters asked why Tammy never wrote. Zoe claimed she saw her dailyfine, just silent.
The truth? The postwoman, indebted to Zoe, intercepted their letters. A mother knew best.
Mikey returned from service. No Tammy.
*She married Kenny. Moved away.*
Zoe had another girl in mindNadines daughter, Sophie. *Good family. Her dads a factory managerhell set you up.*
*Mum I dont love her.*
*Pfftlove. Look where that got you last time.*
At the wedding, the groom stood stone-faced. *Never mind,* Zoe thought. *Hell grow fond. And look at that house! Her dadll provide.*
Years passed. Time dulls pain, they saybut never heals.
A decade flew. Mikey visited with his family; Tammy and Kenny with theirs. They met by chance, exchanged pleasantries, then lingered.
*Off for a smokesee Stevie,* Mikey said that evening.
*Where?* Zoe blocked the door. *Youre not going.*
*Mum*
*Sophie, go with him.*
*Zoe, hes visiting a friend. Let him be.*
*To see her, those big eyes? Watch yourself, Mikey.*
His feet led him to the riverbank. Three nights running. On the fourth, a silhouette appeared.
She came.
No accusations, no explanationsjust standing under their cherry tree, holding each other. The moon hid behind clouds, sparing them its glare.
Ten more years. Then twenty.
Never once did they cross the line.
*Not love?* you might say. Oh, it wasand is. But so was duty to those beside them.
Now, widowed three years, Mikey stands at his wifes grave. Hed forgiven his mother long ago.
*Mikey?*
He turned. Tammy, still slender, a scarf at her neck, sat beside him on the bench.
*Lifes gone by, Mikey.*
*Gone past us.*
*Not past. Maybe not togetherbut meant to be. Dont blame Kenny. He pulled me from despair and I grew to love him.*
*Out of gratitude?*
*No. For his kindness. All those years*
She stood. *Ive a favour. Dont hold it against him. Support him.*
*Support him how?*
But she was already walking away.
That evening, the phone rang.
*Kenny? You crying?*
*Tammy shes gone.*
*Where* He understood. *Im coming.*
Two old friends sat side by side.
*She was ill. Didnt want anyone to know. Your wife?*
*Three years now.*
*Hard.*
*Hard. A lifetime together.*
*Lets stick close. Whos left? Stevie and Tony?*
*Yeah.*
*Life flies like a single day. But when you look backno, its years. Feels like yesterday we were splashing barefoot, and now*
*Same here, mate.*
Maybe his mum had sensed something, all those years ago. No use dwelling now.
*Lifes no stroll through a field*
*Its climbs and falls, rocks in your way,*
*Regrets that never fade,*
*Yet love remains, steadfast and real.*
Good day, my dears. Sending warmth your way. Always yours.
