Natalie! Im so sorry. Is there any chance youd take me back?
My husband, Victor, and I had been together for over twenty years. Our days passed quietly and peacefully. We had a cottage in the Cotswolds where we escaped every weekend. Victor took care of the cleaning while I cooked. I honestly believed wed grow old together like this.
And then, out of nowhere, Victor announced,
Natalie, Im sorry. I have to leave you. Ive met someone else, and Ive fallen in love with her.
At thirty-eight, I wasnt naïve. Id seen the signs that Victor had another woman. Still, I tried not to make it a big drama. I thought, surely, hed never actually leave me. Kind acquaintances didn’t help; theyd send me photos of Victor with his mistress. I tolerated it… Until Victor, one day, bluntly told me he was leaving. I was utterly blindsided.
At least our daughter, Olivia, was away with friends by the seaside then. To try and feel better, I told my girlfriends that my husband had left me.
We gathered for a crisis meeting in my kitchen, clutching mugs of tea and debating what I should do. One suggested I lose some weight and find a new man. Another said I should immediately visit a psychic who could help bring Victor back. The third said I ought to go out and find someone new.
But then Mary chimed in,
Just live life as you did before! Itll be easier.
But I dont know how. It hurts so much.
You have to, Nat. It gets better with time. Trust me, Ive survived three divorces. Clean, cook, go to work, watch films, read books.
For whom am I supposed to cook, though?
For us! Well pop round every night and eat everything you make!
I thanked my friends for their advice, but I couldnt decide what to do. Eventually, I chose to visit the psychic. I took along a photo of Victor and his lover. She laid out her tarot cards, murmured an incantation, and promised Victor would come back to me in a fortnight.
Of course, he didnt return in two weeks. Nor in a month. And all the while, Id paid that woman half of my monthly salary in pounds.
The solitude gnawed at me, and I grew restless and down. I started buying cakes and biscuits in ridiculous amounts from Marks & Spencer. After two weeks, I stepped onto the scales and was shockedId gained a stone.
Thats when I decided to do things differently. I did a proper spring clean; scrubbed the flat till it gleamed, repotted my plants, and rearranged the furniture. My little London flat felt cosy and beautiful once again.
I signed up for dance classes, figuring itd help me shift those pounds after all that cake and custard tart. Each day, I made soupVictors favourite. Then my girlfriends would drop in, gobbling up every spoonful. After they left, Id settle onto the sofa to watch Game of Thrones.
Victor and I had always talked about watching it, but never found the time. I was riveted, soaking up every episode. One evening, as I curled up watching, the door suddenly swung open. Victor stood there, staring at the sparkling clean living room filled with the scent of his favourite vegetable soup. I sat calmly on the settee, glued to the TV.
Natalie, evening. Ive just come for the things I left here last time.
Of course. Ive packed them up. Have you got a bag?
No.
No botherIve got one.
I handed him a bag full of his stuff.
Did you make soup?
I did! Hungry?
After a pause, Victor nodded.
I ladled out two bowls for him. When hed finished, he said softly,
Thanks, Natalie. I should be off, then.
Go onIve got to finish this episode.
What are you watching?
Game of Thrones.
We always wanted to watch that together, didnt we? Victor said, voice heavy with regret.
I remember, I replied.
After he left, I cried for a bit, then watched the rest of the episode and went to bed.
Two weeks later, Victor arrived at my door, laden with all his belongings. I stared at him, stunned.
Natalie, Im so sorry. I love you so much! Ive missed your soup and the way you make everything so homey. Please forgive me, please.
So, you missed my soup?
I missed everything! Most of all, I missed you.
All right, come inside.
Im so ashamed in front of you and Olivia. Please, dont say anything to her?
I wont. Do you want some supper?
I dothank you. Thank you, Natalie.I warmed up some soup, the steam curling up soothingly between us. Victor sat at the table, looking smaller than I remembered, his hands fidgeting with the spoon.
We ate mostly in silence. I felt the ache of everything wed lost; I also felt the quiet peace of my newfound life. The walls glowed candle-golden, and I could hear my friends laughter echo from their visits, almost as if they were cheering me on.
After dinner, Victor asked softly, How have you been?
I looked at him, really looked, for the first time since hed returned. I learned how to be happy again, I said, voice steady. With or without you.
His eyes glistened, searching me for the old Natalie, maybe yearning to find her untouched. But I was changed, rooted deep, resilient.
We washed up together. When he reached for my hand, I let him hold itbut this time, it felt different, lighter. As we walked to the living room, the phone buzzed; Olivias name flashed across the screen. Victor hesitated, but I smiled and picked up, laughter spilling into the room as Olivia told me a story about a crab dancing across the sand.
When I hung up, Victor said, Youre stronger than you think.
I nodded. I know.
He lingered by the door, unsure. I realized, suddenly, that no matter what happened next, Id be all right. Id lost him once and found myself in the ruins; I could survive anything.
Victor hugged me, the embrace familiar and foreign. Thank you, he whispered.
Take care, Victor, I replied, and hugged him backthen let go.
He looked at me, reading the meaning in my smile, and stepped out into the London night.
I sat in my living room, the scent of soup still lingering, Game of Thrones still paused on the television. My friends would be over tomorrow, and Olivia would come home soon, her laughter lighting up the flat.
I pressed play, settling back into my warm cocoon. For the first time in a long time, I felt just rightas if everything had finally found its place.
