So your holidays more important than your own sister? her mum cried out.
Emily dialled her sisters number again, but all she got was the automated recording: The person you are calling is on another call
The silence had lasted two weeks now. Everything had started with what was meant to be a normal phone chat.
Her sister, Sophie, a young mum, had called with that exhausted, trembling voice that made Emilys heart twist.
Em, you know things at work are mad were knee-deep in deadlines, Sophies voice had taken on a helpless, pleading tone, and the nannys suddenly ended up in hospital. Me and Tom just dont know what to do. Youre on holiday from Monday, arent you? Any chance you could come down and help out with little Beth for a week or so?
Beth was just thirteen months old. Absolutely adorable, a cheeky button nose and those two stubborn teeth poking out. Last time Emily visited, Beth had managed to get hold of her iPad and treat it like a colouring book.
Emily loved her niece to bits, but the idea of spending her one precious holiday the only week she had off all year being a full-time babysitter had her insides screaming no.
Shed been planning this break for months and months. Shed bought train tickets to Bath, booked a lovely little room by the canal, mapped out which museums to visit and picturesque old streets to wander.
It was supposed to be her much-needed breath of fresh air after another year drowning in paperwork at the accounting firm, boxed in by spreadsheets, deadlines, and her bosss constant disapproval.
Soph, I I just cant, honestly, Emily had said slowly, a shiver running down her spine. Ive already booked tickets to Bath. Everythings planned and paid for.
There was a heavy pause, her sister clearly stunned.
Bath? Alone? Of course you are. Off to have fun. Well, well just muddle through here with a baby, as usual
Its not for fun, its a break. I need a break! Emily tried to defend herself, but Sophie had stopped listening.
Fine, whatever. Dont worry about us, well manage. I get it.
The line went dead. Emily set her phone down and guilt washed over her. But right on its heels came a wave of hurt.
Why should her plans have to fall apart every time someone else in the family couldnt cope? Was her holiday really such a trivial thing compared to Sophies motherly duties?
The real blow came the next day from her mum, Patricia Smith. Her voice was sharp as a knife.
Emily, do you know what I heard from Sophie? That you refused to help your own sister when she needed you most?
Mum, its just this is my holiday, I Emily started to say, but her mum cut her off.
Holiday? Patricia huffed, Off to Bath on your own is that what matters now? Helping the family, thats what counts, not swanning off alone! Beths just a baby theyre struggling. You should have been the first to offer help, not waiting until your sister was desperate enough to ask!
Im not obliged to do anything! Emily burst out at last. Im thirty, I earn my own way! Im exhausted I want to spend my time off how I want, not how you think I should.
Well, if youre so independent and worn out, maybe weve got nothing left to talk about then,” Patricia said, voice frosty. “Sort your own life out, travel all you want Well see how you manage without your family,” and she hung up.
Fourteen days had dragged by since. Emily had gone to Bath. She wandered around the Roman Baths, took boat rides along the Avon, sipped flat whites in artsy cafés on Walcot Street.
But she couldnt unwind. Every painting, every bit of golden stone in the city, kept reminding her of the hurt in Sophies voice, the coldness from her mum.
Emily felt like a traitor, an outsider. When she got back, she tried ringing home.
Her dad, Richard Smith, answered. He simply said, Were busy, Emily, and ended the call.
Her mum ignored her calls entirely, and Sophie just replied to one message: We managed, all fine.
A month later, there was a knock at the door. Emily jumped she wasnt expecting anyone. Peering through the peephole, she saw her dad, Richard, standing there. Alone, holding a little tub in his hands. Her heart raced as she opened the door.
Hi Dad, she whispered.
He stood on the step, looking older and more tired than she’d ever seen him. His usual straight-backed stance had sagged.
Can I come in? he asked shortly.
Of course, come on.
He slipped off his coat, hung it up carefully, and made his way to the sitting room, inspecting the place like he hadnt been there in ages.
Mums sent you some homemade cherry jam your favourite, he set the tub on the coffee table and finally looked at her, his gaze weary but softer than usual.
Thanks, Emily managed, awkwardly. They stood there like strangers.
How was the trip? her dad asked, pulling out a chair.
Fine, she lied. Weather was good.
He nodded, staring at the floor. The silence was heavy.
Beths not been well, Richard said suddenly, eyes lowered. High temp, nasty cough. Sophie and I were up half the night with her, trying to get her back to sleep
Emilys chest tightened. She imagined the scene: her worn-down sister, eyes ringed red from sleepless nights, and her father rocking Beth in his tired arms.
Hows Beth doing now? Emily asked quietly.
Better, thanks. We got her temp down. But its hard for them, Em. Toms barely at home, Sophies on her own. Very much on her own.
When her dad looked up, Emily saw a sorrow in his eyes shed never seen before.
I know youre not obliged, Em, he said gently. Youre right. Youve got your own life. Maybe me and your mum missed the point. Were from a different time. For us, familys everything. If someones in trouble, you drop everything and pull together.
Dad, I Emily tried to speak, but he lifted a hand.
Let me finish. We were wrong. We acted out of line, made you feel bad, but I want you to see our side too. Were getting old, he rubbed his forehead. Watching Sophie struggle with Beth We just want to know you two will always be there for each other. When you chose your holiday instead it felt like you were pushing us away. Your mum she felt rejected, like you were putting your jaunts above your family.
Its not a jaunt! Emily cried, emotion breaking through at last. Ive worked flat out all year! I was running on empty, Dad. I honestly couldnt cope without a break.
I see that now, her dad nodded, and for the first time, it felt real, not just words to calm her down.
Looking at you now, I can see how much weight youve lost, how wiped out you look even after your break. We just didnt notice before. We were too focused on Sophie and her struggles.
He paused, glancing down at his hands. Your mums not ignoring you because she doesnt love you, Em, its the opposite she loves you too much, in her own way. Shes just scared scared if you can say no over a holiday, youll say no over something bigger. Shes frightened of being left behind.
Emily moved to sit opposite him.
Id never let you down over anything important, Dad. Not ever. You, Mum, Sophie, Beth you all matter. But I cant live just for the family. I need a bit of me left for well, me. Otherwise Ill break.
Richard sighed, reaching for the jam.
Should we have a cuppa? he said, trying for a smile.
Of course, Emily replied, already heading to the kitchen.
While she made the tea, her dad sat looking at the photos on her wall. He lingered over one of Emily in her old school leavers dress for a while. When they finally sat down to drink their tea, conversation was sparse.
Come for Sunday lunch, her dad said suddenly, setting his empty mug down. Sophie and Beth will be there. Your mum she might not talk to you straight away, but she wants you there. I know she does.
Ill come, Emily promised.
Good, he said, and after a quick hug, he left.
Emily was left on her own again. She picked up her phone and called Sophie. The call went unanswered, but after a moment, Sophie called her back.
Hello? Sophie sounded exhausted.
Soph, its me, Emily replied quietly. Dad was over, told me about Beth. How is she now? What do you need? I can pick up fruit, medicine, anything
A pause.
Thank you, Sophie said at last. Doctor reckons shes over the worst. If it hadnt been for Mum and Dad last night I couldnt have coped.
Ill see you Sunday, Emily said quickly, if thats okay?
Yeah, come. Beths been looking for your iPad actually, crawling everywhere, pointing at random stuff.
Ill buy a new one, Emily laughed. Preferably indestructible this time.
The day before the family get together, Emily was proper anxious. She traipsed round all the shops and picked out gifts for everyone.
The Sunday lunch itself was awkward, all smiles too sweet to be true. Emily looked at her mum and sister and could tell they definitely hadnt forgiven her not really.
They both still seemed to be holding a grudge. To try and soften things, Emily handed over her gift bags.
Sophie peeked into hers, and her mouth fell open seeing the brand new designer handbag.
Oh, you think you can buy me off with this? Sophie scoffed bitterly. I needed help with Beth, not this rubbish, and she chucked the bag onto the floor.
Emily went pale, seeing the angry look on her sisters face. The silence was excruciating, broken only by their mum barely above a whisper.
Girls, can we remember were family? Patricia said, peering over the top of her own gift bag.
No ones arguing, Sophie snapped. I just dont see why my sister thinks she can ditch us then waltz in with a posh handbag.
Oh, youre Emily couldnt help herself. I was only trying to be kind, but you
What? Sophie sneered.
Youre a right cow! Emily blurted, scooping her gift bag up and storming for the door.
She didnt see her sister again after that, nor did they speak, although Patricia did ring a couple of times asking Emily to apologise to Sophie.
