Nothing Can Be Changed Now
Arthur stood beside the window of his flat, gazing thoughtfully at the dim, hazy glow of the evening city lights. The street below seemed almost deserted, with only a handful of passersby, and the cars drifted by, their headlights painting blurred ribbons across the wet pavement. The clock on the wall read half past midnight, which only increased Arthurs uneaseLaura still hadnt returned home. He raked his fingers through his hair, searching for clarity, but the events of the day kept replaying in his mind on an endless loop. He found himself returning, again and again, to that short, tense conversation before Laura left
Three hours earlier.
Muted laughter and low voices lingered from the living room. Arthur glanced back to see his mates. Matthew, one of his oldest friends, was slouched in an armchair, eyeing him with a smirk.
Well, mate, wheres your lovely missus? Matthew teased, a glint of wry amusement in his voice. Weve been here half an hour nowhas she gone into hiding or what?
Arthur walked over to join the group. Four of his school friends sprawled comfortably across the sofa and chairs. Beer bottles clinked on the coffee table, accompanied by crisps, peanuts and a plate of roast chicken. Everything seemed set for an easy, laid-back nightbut it was clear that wasnt going to happen.
Shes tired, Arthur muttered, trying to keep his tone neutral, though inside he felt a growing irritation. Came home knackered, said she just wanted some peace and quiet.
Edward, the sharpest-tongued of the group, leaned back and snorted. Tired again, is she? he said, raising an eyebrow. Heard that one before. Maybe youve been a bit too soft with her. A girlfriend ought to know her place, mate.
Arthurs fists clenched involuntarily. The way his friends talked about Laura grated on himEdward especially, who always went a step too far. Yet he couldnt deny that Lauras behaviour that evening was getting under his skin. How many times had he invited her to spend time with his mates, and she had dodged it? Always an excuse: too much to do, wrong mood, not tonight. And now, when hed arranged the gathering especially hoping that she’d get on with them, shed just locked herself away, as if his wishes meant nothing.
He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. The same question wouldnt leave his mind: where did it all go wrong? Was it something hed missed, or just another tough day that would blow over? Arthur looked at the lads, laughing and carrying on, and felt strangely distant from the whole scene.
Ill sort it, he announced, shoulders squared, striding down the hall toward the bedroom. Anger and hurt simmered in his chest. Hearing his friends jibes, seeing their mocking faces, only made things worse. Hed show them he wasnt some pushover.
The bedroom door was locked. He knockedhard, more forceful than he meant.
Laura, come on out. Everyones waiting, he said, his voice steady but firm. Stop acting like a child, please.
There was a pause on the other side of the door. Eventually, Lauras voice came, muffled and weary.
Arthur, honestly, Im exhausted. Can this not wait till next time?
He swallowed, irritation rising uncontrollably. He found it hard to keep his words gentlethey came out sharper than he intended.
There isnt going to be a next time! Open the door, Laura!
Quiet again. He considered getting the spare key when, after a moment, he heard the click of the lock. Laura stood in the doorway, looking utterly drainedpale, with dark circles beneath her eyes, her hair tousled as if shed already tried to sleep.
I just cant tonight, you know? she whispered, avoiding his gaze. Its been a nightmare at work. Three urgent projects, my boss yelling, the rest of them dumping their mistakes on me I just want to sleep and forget it all. Please, I cant be the life of your party tonight.
Arthur pressed his lips together. He did feel for her, truly. But at the same time he felt stung, taken for granted. He didnt want his mates to see him as a man easily dismissed. He didnt want to be seen as a walkover.
So Im meant to make excuses for you? he shot back, his patience running thin. Theyre already taking the micklike I cant control my own girlfriend! Just come out for half an hour, then you can go to bed.
Im not going to prop up your ego at my own expense, Laura replied quietly but firmly, biting her lip. If youd picked a weekend, or even just warned meId have been fine. But I get home after a nightmare day and walk into a crowd of blokes and noise
Arthur stepped closer, his restraint slipping. He grabbed her arm, urging her toward the door. Laura tensed, yanking her arm back.
Let go! she snapped, fear edging her voice.
He hesitated, but then scooped her up, carrying her toward the lounge. Laura squealed in protest, wriggling to get free.
Out you come! Just do as I ask! This is my flat!
But Laura thrashed, elbowing him sharply in the side. Pain flared, and Arthurs grip loosened. She broke free, darting for her room, hoping to lock the door again.
He lunged after her and seized her shoulder roughly.
Enough! he barked, his voice fraying with frustration and desperation. All he wanted was for her to stop behaving like a sulky child.
Dont you dare touch me! Tears glinted in Lauras eyes as her voice trembled, a mix of rage and humiliation.
In a moment of anger, Arthurs hand struck her cheek. Not hard, and almost without thinking, but enough to stun her. Her face showed both pain and disbelief.
That split second was all it took. Silently, Laura whirled round, grabbed her coat, flung the front door open and stormed out. The door slammed behind her, leaving the flat in oppressive, aching silence.
The lads, whod half-watched from the corridor, looked on in shock. One cleared his throat awkwardly; another couldnt meet Arthurs eye. Matthew, closest to the door, broke the silence.
Bit much, mate Dyou want to go after her?
Arthur stood in the hallway, clenching and unclenching his fists. He wanted to justify himself, but the words wouldnt come. Instead, he muttered, eyes averted, Shell come back. She just needs to cool off.
But Laura didnt come back.
An hour later, anxious now, Arthur tried calling her. The phone rang unanswered. He sent a string of brief messages: Where are you?, Can we talk?, Im worried about you. No reply. Then, his number was blocked altogether.
He called Lauras close friends. One after another, they hadnt seen her. Only Sophie, her friend from university, paused and coolly replied, I know Laura. If shes left, she had a good reason. Dont try to play the victimlooks to me youre the one at fault.
Her words, calm but resolute, struck a nerve. Arthur wanted to argue, but Sophie had already hung up. He stared blankly at the wall, edgy and restless, unable to settle his thoughts.
By half past eleven, Arthur left his friends behind and wandered out into the chilly November night. The cold wind lashed at his face, making him hunch into his coat. He walked aimlessly through the quiet, lamp-lit streets, memories chasing him through the gloom.
He remembered how theyd first met just a year ago in a coffee shop near his office. Laura sat reading a book, oblivious to the world, her face lighting up now and then with a private smile. Hed been enchanted by her smile, and before he knew it, he asked what she was reading. Turned out they had the same taste in mysteriesthey fell into conversation, debated the plot, laughed at the same jokes. Within a week, they were seeing each other; a month later, Laura moved in.
Those early months were bliss: laughter, warmth, quiet evenings with her amazing home cooking and endless, companionable talks. Laura listened, supported him, laughed at even his worst jokes, and could turn even the dullest evening into something special.
Over time, though, their differences grew clearer. Arthur loved boisterous gatherings, music and a full housewhile Laura cherished quiet, cosy nights in. He couldnt see why shed rather stay in, why she often kept him at arms length when friends came over. For him, being together meant sharing everything; for her, sometimes it meant giving each other space.
Maybe I did push too hard? Arthur wondered as he paused beneath a lamppost. The pale light highlighted the worry etched on his face. He realised then how often lately hed barked, You have to instead of gently suggesting, Lets talk about it. To Laura, that must have sounded like orders, not requests.
***********************
The next day, Arthur tried to call Laura again. He dialled her number over and over, sent messagesstill nothing. The silence grew heavier by the hour. Finally, he made his way to her parents semi-detached house nearby, its garden neat and homely.
It was Lauras mum, Mrs Harris, who answered. Usually welcoming, today her gaze was frosty, distrustful.
Arthur? she said, eyebrow raised. What are you doing here?
Good evening, Arthur hesitated, unsure of himself. I just wanted to ask is Laura here by any chance?
No, Mrs Harris said sharply, making no move to let him in. And even if she was, I wouldnt tell you.
Arthur felt a surge of anger, but kept his voice calm. Why? What have I done?
Mrs Harris paused, then, after a long moment, softened ever so slightly. Come in, then. Well talk in the kitchen.
He followed her inside. The homey smell of baking hit him with a wave of nostalgiaLaura had once made the house smell exactly like this with her bread or apple pie.
Arthur, youre a good lad, I know, Mrs Harris began as they sat across from each other. Her tone was gentle but firm. But Laura isnt your property. Shes a personwith feelings and limits and the right to her own space.
Arthur clenched his fists, then forced his hands to relax. He wanted to object, to explain he wasnt trying to control Laura, but the words caught in his throat.
But she just left! She didnt say a word, not even a reason
Did you give her a chance to? Mrs Harris replied softly. Did you even ask why she wanted to be alone? You just decided she had to do what you wanted. That she belonged with you and your friends, because you wanted her to.
He could only look down at his hands, shame pressing on his chest. Memories of the previous night stungthe way hed yanked Lauras arm, the angry words, the slap in the heat of the moment.
She called me last night in tears, Mrs Harris said quietly, voice tinged with pain. Told me how you dragged her, how you hit hernot hard, but enough. Do you have any idea how humiliating that feels? How could you even raise your hand like that?
His heart constricted inside him. I didnt mean to It just happened. I was so angry.
We all get angry, Arthur, Mrs Harris said with patient exasperation. But thats no excuse. Laura always said you were kind. Yesterday, you showed her a different side. It frightened her.
Arthur stared at the tabletop, overwhelmed by guilt and the realisation of how terribly hed behaved.
He rose, voice barely steady, I need to find her.
Mrs Harris looked at him, her expression less stern, and more wise and weary. Try, but think first. Think of what you want to say. An apology would be a good place to start.
*****************************
That evening, Arthur found himself sitting on a battered park bench along the tree-lined avenue near his home, where he and Laura often walked. The wind shuffled fallen leaves, and the lamplight crept over the path. He watched couples stroll hand-in-hand, and wondered where things might have ended up, if only hed acted differently.
Unexpectedly, a familiar figure appeared among the passersby. It was Laura, her shoulders hunched in her coat and scarf, her tread heavy. Arthur was on his feet before he knew it.
Laura he breathed, stopping himself short.
She drew nearer, each step weary with more than simple fatigue. When she was within earshot, Arthur called, Laura!
She stopped, turning slowly. There was no anger in her eyesjust sheer exhaustion.
What do you want, Arthur? she asked, no emotion in her voice, only the resignation of someone whod run out of strength. I really dont want to see you.
Arthur began to recite the apologies hed rehearsedhow badly he regretted yesterday, how sorry he was for his outburst. But instead, the old hurt flared up. Once more, he heard his friends jibes: Whipped already, mate? Letting her boss you about? Their words, half-serious over beers, stung more deeply than hed ever let on.
You just walked out? he said, his annoyance leaking in. Made me look a fool in front of my matesleft them thinking I cant even keep my girlfriend in line.
Lauras face grew even paler, but she held his gaze. Shed have left if she had any energy.
I didnt leave to embarrass you. I just
Just what? he cut in sharply. Decided to show them whos boss? Now theyll never let me hear the end of it, and you couldnt even be bothered to explain why you went.
Do I owe you an explanation for everything? Laura shot back, her anger finally showing. Did you once ask why I didnt want to come out? Why I was shattered? All you cared about was showing off.
Is it too much to want Arthur started, but she interrupted.
My whole day was fixing everyone else’s mistakes at work! she said, her voice cracking. Three urgent projects, the boss on my back, people dumping work on me. I got home and all I wanted was half an hour of peace. Half an hour, Arthur! But you dragged me out, like I was something you owned. And thenyou did what you did.
Arthur felt the full weight of her words at last, and his anger fell away. He saw, as if for the first time, how tired shed been, how little hed noticed her distressand how much hed demanded rather than asked.
So what now? Laura asked, looking past him at the path scattered with yellow leaves. You going to shout some more? Blame me for making you look bad? Or are you going to try and force me again?
He said nothing. In his mind, half-formed excuses sounded pathetic, worthless.
You know, she said after a pause, part of me hoped youd see I was having a hard time. That youd just hug me. Or run a bath. But for you, it was always about appearances. About not looking weak in front of your friends.
I Arthur tried to begin, but she was already turning away.
No, Arthur. This is enough. Im tired.
She walked off, slowly dissolving into the lamplight and shadows. The night, the bench, the parkall seemed echoingly empty as her figure faded out of view.
Arthur stood, fists tight, hollow inside. The distant laughter of strangers and the noise of traffic meant nothing to him; the world had ground to a halt. He listened only to his own ragged breathing and heartbeat marking the seconds that now, truly, couldnt be changed.
It struck Arthur then that hed lost more than a girlfriendhed lost a person whod supported him, cared for him, and made his life meaningful. All through pride, through the fear of looking weak in front of others, through never stopping to listen.
Hed traded love for ego, and now was left with nothing but regret.
Some things, he realised, cant be fixed. And sometimes, life teaches the hardest lesson only when its much too late: the people who matter most deserve our empathy, kindness, and understandingbefore its too late to show it.
