I Want to Live for Myself
Oh, Emily, hello! Are you visiting your mum? Mrs. Harris, the neighbour, called out from her window.
Good afternoon, Mrs. Harris. Yes, just going to see Mum, Emily replied.
Could you have a word with her? the woman sighed heavily. She’s not been herself since the divorce, poor soul.
What do you mean? Emily tensed.
I sleep badly, so I’m up early. I saw her the other morning, about five, getting out of a taxi. She looked… well, let’s just say not her usual self. Maybe a bit tipsy even. All the neighbours whisper, you know. At her age! And why throw your father out? Yes, he made a mistake, but who hasnt? So many years together it seems daft to divorce now.
Thank you, Mrs. Harris, Emily managed, swallowing hard. Ill speak with her.
With that, she hurried up the path toward home. Her mother really had sent her father packing six months ago after catching him cheating. Emily had begged her to reconsider anything can happen, after all. But her mum had stood firm. Stranger still, she hadnt fallen into a depression as everyone expected; instead, she seemed to be brimming with energy. New clothes, dancing, evenings out with friends, going to bars things shed never done before.
Emily found it hard to cope with. She herself was getting married soon and planning on having children. Yet her mum out all night at pubs? How was she supposed to introduce her to her future mother-in-law, if one knitted blankets and the other was out at clubs until dawn?
When she entered the house, her mother met her with a beaming smile and a teapot in hand. She wasnt in an old dressing gown, but in a smart, cream-coloured trouser suit. Nails polished, hair perfectly styled it was clear she was enjoying life.
So, hows Daniel? her mother asked, setting cups down.
All fine, Emily replied, trying not to let her tone slip. And you?
Wonderful! Last night I was out with the girls until morning. We went to that new jazz bar, then ended up singing karaoke. It was such fun!
Mrs. Harris told me everything, Emily cut in gloomily. That you came home at five looking… tipsy.
Her mum laughed. What did you expect? People dont go to pubs for a pot of tea.
Emily couldnt hold back anymore.
Mum, dont you think youre going a bit far?
In what way? her mother said.
Well, lets be honest, youre not twenty anymore. All these dances, all these clubs? Youre supposed to set an example. Youre going to be a grandmother soon!
Im a woman whos finally free. Ive no intention of living according to anyone elses script anymore.
But you were with Dad for so many years! How can you just move on like that?
Her mother was quiet for a moment, then replied gently but firmly: Your father made a choice, not just a mistake. I dont want to be just the maid anymore. I want to live for me. I spent all those years living for our family. Now I do what I want.
But, Mum, youre almost fifty!
So what? Theres no schedule for growing old.
Emily realised shed gone too far.
Im sorry, I didnt mean to upset you. I just care about you, thats all.
If youre embarrassed by me, dont invite me to the wedding. But just so you know: I wont hide my grey hair under a scarf, nor dress in baggy dresses. Ill dance and who knows perhaps Ill even flirt a little. I feel good.
No, Mum, I want you there. Its just that
Its just that Auntie Harris wont approve? Well, I honestly dont care anymore. Im finally living.
Later, at home, Emily told her fiancé everything.
I just dont know how to feel about it all, she admitted.
Daniel chuckled. I think your mums fantastic. She didnt sink into misery, she chose to live. Theres nothing wrong with being happy.
At the weekend, Emily picked up the phone.
Mum, how about we have a spa day, then go to that pub with the live music?
Are you sure you wont be embarrassed by me? her mother teased.
Ill tell everyone youre my older sister, Emily laughed.
In that case, we have a deal. But just so you know, I wont be leaving early!
That day marked a turning point. For the first time, Emily understood her mothers inner strength. And maybe, she thought, she could learn something from her to be herself. To live not as others expect, but as she truly feels.
The lesson is clear: happiness isnt about your age or what others think; its about having the courage to live life on your own terms.
