And things will never be the same…
Ellie, we need to talk.
One sec, Andrew, just let me finish up, alright?
Ellie quickly finished chopping parsley for the salad, popped the lid onto a pot of nearly done soup, and turned to face her husband.
All done. Whats on your mind, Andrew? Looking more closely at him, she realised something was wrong. Andrew stood leaning against the wall of their cramped little kitchen, eyes cast down, and silent. Come on, say it, or Im going to start getting worried.
Andrew sighed. He knew he had to say it, even though this was news that would shatter the cosy little world Ellie had built over the past two years the same world hed lived in, secretly afraid every day that hed wake up and find it was just a lovely dream. What came after, he had no idea.
You know I have a son, dont you?
Ellie sat down, clutching a tea towel in her hands.
I know.
My ex-wife rang today. Said either I take him, or shes putting him into care.
Hang on, Andrew, I dont get it. Why care? How olds he now six?
Nearly seven. Shes planning to move abroad for work, theres no one to leave him with. Her mum passed away recently, and she has no other relatives to help.
I really dont get it. Is it really so necessary to move abroad and leave her son? Theres no work closer to home?
Ive no idea. She didnt really explain, just told me the situation as it is.
Ellie thought for a moment. Strange, of course, but still hes just a child. She knew Andrew had a son, and he’d never hidden anything from her.
Shed met Andrew at work, a tall, skinny bloke whod ducked into her office, minding his head on the low doorframe. Or, more accurately, had hobbled over to her desk, leaning heavily on a walking stick that looked much too short for him, but apparently essential for him to move at all. His right ankle was so swollen he couldnt wear a proper shoe and had shown up in a silly bulldog-faced slipper.
What happened?
The ice. Fell down right outside my flat.
When?
Yesterday.
Why come only today?
Too much to do yesterday, just tried to get on with it, but today the foots swelled up and I cant even put weight on it hurts just to touch it.
Thats how theyd met. Ellie was a surgeon at the local surgery and Andrew a physics teacher at the nearby school.
A doctor and a teacher, Ellie used to laugh afterwards, the most respectable couple in the country.
Andrew had been divorced for a few years by then, a divorce that had hit him hard and left him with little trust in women. Ellie had never pried into what happened, nor why he and his first wife split. It was Andrews nan whod filled her in the woman whod raised him, and quietly looked after her only, beloved grandson.
Be gentle with him, Ellie, if you can. Hes been through a lot with Lisa. She was a good woman, kept a lovely home, calm, but ever so blunt and never affectionate. Always with an ultimatum. Your Andrew was always cuddly, even as a boy. Hed come, nuzzle in, just stand there. Id ask him what he wanted and hed say, Nothing, Nan, just love you. Lisa always said he was too soft, not manly, all those hugs. Never let him spoil their son, Hes got to grow up strong. When Max was little and crying, she wouldn’t let Andrew pick him up He mustnt get used to it. Shes his mum, after all, but Andrew would argue. He couldnt stand to hear his boy crying. When Max got older, things calmed down, but Lisa was still always on the go self-development, she called it. Kept going on courses, trainings, all sorts. I stopped asking, annoyed her too much. My job was to sit with Max. Thats where she met the bloke she left with. Told Andrew he wasnt right for her growth and that she didnt have time to mess about. Packed up, took their son, and left.
Did Andrew see his son afterwards?
He did. She wasn’t keen, but agreed in the end. Hed visit Max, even took him to the seaside a couple times, when she permitted.
And now?
Now shes changed everything again. Andrew pays maintenance, but the visits had to be settled in court. Lisa said he was a bad influence.
Hows that?
After seeing Andrew, Max wont listen to her, always asks to come back. They managed a compromise, then Lisa moved to London. Even harder to visit you know what its like, its half-way across the country. But Andrew spent every holiday travelling there, never once taking a break for himself. Started doing tutoring on the side, otherwise couldnt have afforded the trips.
Sad story Ellie had been clearing mugs from the table and suddenly stopped. Did they love each other, when they married?
I think so. They were young hed just come back from the army, she was still in college. Max was an accident, they werent planning on kids straight away.
Thank you for telling me. I didnt want to ask Andrew, and now at least things make sense.
Ellie really had come to understand Andrew better after that. She realised why sometimes hed reach out to hug her, then lower his arms at the last moment, pretending that wasnt what he meant; why hed absentmindedly take her hand but let go when he seemed to catch himself. It took all her patience and nearly a year to earn his trust. In time, Andrew found himself walking down the street holding Ellies hand or putting his arm around her, and she would respond, opening up in return. The fear always loomed, though the fear that shed become like Lisa, even though he knew perfectly well they were nothing alike.
When his nan, who by then was quite ill, asked why he was putting off getting married, Andrew told her honestly,
Im scared. If she leaves me, Ill never want anyone or anything again. Shes the one, Nan, really.
Well, then dont drag it out. Someone else might come along and snatch her up, you know. Women like her dont come around often. Youre dallying! Nan ruffled his hair, Youre so tall now I can only reach you when youre sitting! Its time to make some decisions, lad, dont be scared or embarrassed. If you love her, marry her. Stop wasting the poor girls time. And stop comparing her to anyone else no two people are the same.
It stuck. A couple of months later, they signed the papers and moved in with his nan, who needed help by then. When she passed away, Andrew and Ellie moved into her small but homely flat.
Now, as Ellie surveyed their little kitchen, she pictured it with three people instead of two. Life would have to change.
Have you got the tickets? She started laying the table.
Not yet. Hang on, does this mean youre okay with it?
Why would I be against it, Andrew? Hes your child.
Ellie saw her husband relax, but pretended not to notice.
Well have dinner, then Ill help you pack. What about work?
Ive three days off, they got cover. Sorted things with my students too. Only thing, I havent reached Natashas mum could you ring her in the morning?
They had dinner, making plans, and Ellie saw Andrew slowly unwind, shoulders un-knotting, his smile returning.
The two days while Andrew was in London, Ellie raced around in a flurry of preparationcleaning, tidying, emptying a room for Max, getting everything ready for his arrival. At last, it was all set.
She popped a pie in the oven and peered out into the drizzle of a typical late English spring. It was the sort of day you didnt want to poke your nose out the door. She wished the real warm weather would hurry up. Once it was summer, Andrew wouldnt be travelling away for a changewhich meant they could stay longer in the countryside. Her parents would love that.
The bell rang, breaking her thoughts. She opened the door, facing a sullen-looking boy at the threshold, standing slightly behind his father and staring right into her eyes.
Hello, Max! Lovely to see you!
Hello, Max replieda plucky kid, really, but now looked wary faced with this unknown woman.
He remembered what his mum had said, just before his father picked him up.
Youll be there for a while. Dont get carried away or try to be part of thingsits only for a bit. Dont bother with making them like you. These people owe you. Your dad barely raises you, only shows up now and then. Its time he put some effort in. Dont bother much with her, she means nothing to you. Just some woman wholl do your laundry and feed you. I am your mother. You remember that, okay?
Max had nodded, hiding his feelingshis mum never liked displays of emotion. Men didnt cry or moan, that was clear. There was no point pleading with her to stayshe never would. He did try to ask how long a bit meant but she got cross, launching into lectures about the money needed for a proper life. Every time he heard proper life, he knew not to ask anything more. Life was going to changedefinitely change.
Ellie showed Max his room, shooed a sprawled cat off the sofa, and laughed.
If hes a pest, just shoo him away. Otherwise, youll wear yourself out stroking his ears.
Whats his name? Max tried to lift the huge black cat, who drooped lazily, purring away and squinting honey-yellow eyes. Hes heavy!
Hes called Wellington. Well, usually just Wellie. He likes sitting on laps, but hes a dead weight! If you want him nearby, just call and hell come.
Ellie smiled as she watched Max stroke the cat, who melted into a puddle of bliss, loudly purring so you could hear it in the hall.
Do you like cats?
And dogs. Mum never let us have pets. Max trailed off.
Do you like pie? Ellie acted as if she hadnt noticed.
Depends whats in it. Max busied himself with the cat.
Weve got twoone with beef, one with apple. Will that do?
He nodded.
Then I guessed right.
They got used to each other slowly, tiptoeing around and not showing their worries. Max was more open with Andrew, picking up on what he meant to his dad. With Ellie, however, he was cautious, often remembering his mothers words.
Summer turned to autumn, and Max started year one at school. Ellie helped with homework, trying to make the new routine feel normal.
One afternoon, collecting him as Andrew was working late, Ellie saw Max standing on the step, angrily kicking his trainers, his shirt collar torn.
Mrs Elvira Green? Maxs teacher nodded at the other parents and drew Ellie aside.
Whats happened?
Ill speak with Andrew later, but wanted a quick word with you. Has Max mentioned any problems at school? Mrs Smith eyed her carefully.
No. He says everythings fine whenever I ask.
Not quite true. Hes struggling to get on with the children. Today, he even fought with two classmates.
What was the reason?
I think its to do with, well, family. Something was mentioned about his mum but I hadnt time to get the full story. Ive noticed Max keeps saying hes only here temporarily that makes friendship difficult. Is it true hell be leaving soon?
I dont know. Youd best speak to his dad about that.
Mrs Smith nodded.
All right. Ill chat with him.
How can we help Max?
Im not sure yet. But hes very lively, clearly needs friends. Maybe consider enrolling him in a sports club? Just pick a good coach.
Thank you thats a great idea! I cant think why we didnt think of it.
On the walk home, she stole glances at a scowling Max but said nothing. At home, after supper, she sat him down with a cuppa and asked, keeping her tone light,
Tell me, what sport do you like?
Max looked at her in surprise.
I thought youd be cross.
For fighting?
Yes.
I think you know yourself it wasnt right?
I do Max stared at his hands.
But there are all sorts of reasons people fight. Sometimes, maybe its the only way. Mind if I ask why you fought those boys?
Max was silent, then lifted his head and met her eyes.
They insulted my mum. Said shed abandoned me. Left me with you. That she wasnt my mum anymore.
Nonsense! Ellie slammed her cup down, tea splashing everywhere. She snatched a cloth and mopped the table, swearing softly.
Wow! Max grinned at her, amused.
What? No rude words! Dont tell your dad or Ill get an earful.
She tidied up and sat down again.
Max, what they said is rubbish! Your mum didnt abandon you. Kids live with mums, with dadslifes unpredictable. Its nobodys business but yours! I guess as an adult I shouldnt say that, its not very proper but… well, serves them right. Ill hold my tongue next time. Do you really have no friends at school? There must be someone you like?
Not true. Vadimthe one I foughthes alright, loads into model planes. Showed me one hes building with his dad.
So youd be happy to be friends?
We are, sort of. He said next year theyre going camping, and hell get to go. Asked if Id join, but I said Ill be leavingmy mums coming for me.
I see. Ellie got up to feed the cat weaving around her ankles. Maybe you dont have to say no so quickly?
You think she wont come for me, too? Max bristled defensively.
No, I just wondered if she might let you go camping?
He considered it.
You never answered what sport do you like best?
I dont know. Boxing, maybe. Thats a sport for menand you have to think, not just bash about. Me and Dad once watched a film about boxers.
And would you like to do it yourself?
Could I?
Of course! Ill talk to your dad tonight. Im sure well find you a club.
They found one. Max started going, loving it. Soon, Vadim and another classmate joined, and Mrs Smith told Ellie things were much better. No more fights, plenty of mates, and Ellie and Andrew were relieved.
Max lived with his dad for nearly six years. He grew comfortable, stopped shutting people out, and Ellie could see how much affection he neededjust like Andrew. At first, she hugged him shyly, then more confidently, praising every achievement. Max loved it, draping his medals for sports competitions around her neck with a laugh and hugging her back.
You deserve this medal too! If it werent for you, Id never have gone!
Before long, they needed a new shelf for his awards.
When Ellie found out she was expecting, her first reaction was fearwhat would Max think? But to her surprise, he was thrilled when Andrew broke the news that hed have a sister and be a big brother.
Brilliant! All my mates have brothers or sistersnow Ill have one too.
And its a girl? Thats alright? Ellie watched Max scribbling his last bit of reading homework, tongue out, rushing before boxing practice.
All done! Max shut his exercise book. Not a problem! Girls are greattheyll love you, and you get to protect them. Ill be the coolest big brother ever, right?
Absolutely!
This is great news! Do you need anything from the shops later, Ellie?
Oh, yes! Thank you for reminding me please get a loaf, I completely forgot.
Little Sophie became Maxs most treasured person.
You see, Dad, you have Ellie, Mums far away, but Sophie shes just mine I cant explain it, but Im so glad to have her. Max stroked the babys tiny fist.
Ellie doted on him. In between workouts and school, Max was always willing to help, happily playing with his sister. Sophie swiftly sussed how to get her way with him, and shamelessly used it. Ellie watched her toddle to her brother, dropping her bag in the hallway as he scooped her up for a cuddle, and prayed it would last forever.
But fate had its own plans. Maybe theyd simply had their quota of quiet happiness, because when Sophie turned three, life upended itself the day Lisa suddenly turned up on their doorstep, saying she had come to take Max back to London.
Theres nothing to discuss. Lisa pushed her teacup away, untouched. We originally agreed this was temporary, did we not?
We did. Andrew had spent an hour fruitlessly trying to reason with his ex, but nothing would shift her no.
Then whats there to talk about? Have your wife pack Maxs things. I havent got time.
This wife happens to be a person, and for your information, is sitting right here. And youre in my house, where your son has lived for more than just a year or two. Ellie moved the cup off the table. So I think I get a say. As does your son. Or did you bother to ask Max who he wants to live with?
Lisa looked at Ellie with such a mix of feelings that Ellie almost snorted.
What? Didnt expect me to have an opinion? Lisa, youre not in charge here, so dont treat us like your staff. Surely you know how that feels.
Lisa flushed; after years as a cleaner in Spain, shed long lost her airs after being left there alone, broke and broken-hearted by the man shed hoped would build a better life with her.
Why should I ask my child what he wants? Im his mother; I know best.
Lisa, youve seen a lot in lifelets be reasonable. You havent seen your son in years. Hes changed. Hes got a life herehome, friends, school. Wont you at least talk to him? Listen to what he says?
Whats the point? I dont like repeating myself. Itll be as I say.
Ellie sighed and looked at Andrew. His face was thunderous, and she saw the same fury that only arose when something was truly wrong.
Right, Lisa. Youll talk to Max, and youll listen to whatever he tells you. And youll respect his decision. Otherwise, Im prepared to take this to court again.
And what will you say there? Lisa sneered.
Ill explain exactly why he belongs here.
A child stays with the mother! Lisas voice was raised now.
Im not so sure. You have no home, no job, as far as I know. Youre alone. Here, Max has a family, were both respected in the community, and he has a childhoodschool, sport, friends. Who do you think the court would side with?
Lisa paled.
You wouldnt dare!
I would, Lisa. Youve already ruined my life onceI wont let you do it to me or Max again.
Youve changed Lisa eyed him oddly. Strangely enough, I almost like you better now.
Lets not fight, it does nobody any good. Just please talk to Max. Hes old enough to have a say in his own life.
Lisa nodded silently. Ellie and Andrew left the kitchen and called Max in.
Go in, son, your mum wants a chat. Andrew put a hand on his shoulder. Remember, were right here, and whatever you decide, we love you.
Yes, Dad.
The conversation wasnt easy for Lisa. She quickly saw that the obedient little boy shed left was gone. This was a new childconfident, self-assured, qualities she realised she should have given but another woman had. The pain of that knowledge weighed heavy, almost suffocating.
And you want to stay here, with your dad?
If youll let me, yes! I can come to you every school holiday. Mum, everything I know is hereSophie, my friends, my school Its all here. Theres nothing for me out there.
The kitchen door opened and Sophie peered in at this unusual, flawlessly dressed woman whod sat at the table an age and still wasnt leaving. She couldnt understand what was happening, but felt it involved Max. She saw he was nervous, so tried to comfort him, even bringing him her favourite unicorn toyoddly, it didnt work. She silently hugged her brother, hiding her face in his hands.
Whats this, Sophie? Ill be there in a minute, alright? Go find Mum for now.
Sophie stubbornly shook her head.
Lisa looked at her son, and then suddenly nodded.
Alright. You can stay. But youre coming to London for the school holidays.
Thatll be brilliant! Thanks, Mum! Max reached forward to hug her, but stopped, remembering she never liked that.
Come here! Lisa pulled him close and secretly wiped a tear from her cheek. Ill be waiting for you, darling.
Ill come, I promise!Lisa wiped her eyes and laughed awkwardly, glancing away from Maxs searching gaze. Youve grown cheeky, you know that?
Max grinned, all relief and dazzling gratitude. I get it from Dad. And Ellie.
Outside, rain battered the window, but inside the little kitchen it was warm and golden, the scent of apple pie lingering. When Lisa left, she paused on the step, looking back at the home that somehow belonged to her son now, her chest tight with sorrow and a surprising hint of hope.
Ellie watched from the kitchen doorway as Andrew knelt to hug Max and Sophie at once, their three heads bowed close over the unicorn toy clutched between them. She set a fresh mug of cocoa on the table and quietly squeezed into the circle, her arms fitting naturally around her new, slightly chaotic family.
Max looked up and caught her eye. Thanks, Ellie. For everything.
Ellie bent down so she was level with him, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. Were yours, Max. All of us. No matter what.
Sophie piped up, Does that mean pie now?
The laughter that followed chased every last shadow from the room. Outside, the sky cleared and for a moment, sunlight streamed through the window, glinting off the medals on their crowded shelf and making the whole kitchen glowproof that families, like storms, can shift and move, break and rebuild, and sometimes, if youre patient enough, become stronger than ever before.
And so, with pie and cocoa, with love both old and new, they began again.
